100th Post in the middle of NZ week.

When are we going to get back to dining out in New Zealand? and Netball! and the New Zealand Food? Soon, Soon darling.

The 100th Post needs to be noted.  This is a milestone.  I need to thank you all for building with me this far. I love working with you guys. In fact the Blog World is not so scary. It cuts through the loneliness of the prairie. And I have encountered such kindness. I love kind people.

And today ( as a wee gift) I  shall share with you my NINE favourite ways of moving a telemarketer along!   I cannot tell you number TEN – it is too bad).

Each of these is guaranteed to make the telemarketer (poor fellow) HANG up on YOU! 

1. Now for this one hold the phone away from your ear and call out to an imaginery person away from the phone.  Honey? Honey are you there? The phone is making the whining noises again. I can’t hear anything except the whine? (to phone) Are you there? Are you there? (back out) Nothing Honey, I can’t hear anything.. ( click)

2. Hullo, yes it is I, Mrs Smith. And you are? Mary. Hullo Mary. Oh wait, Mary, how do I spell your name?..  M A R Y .. oh good and your surname?..  J O N E S. Thank you.  Now what was the name of the company. OK can you spell all that out for me.. and the address Mary. I need their address too .. can you spell that? and so on and so forth.. (click).

3.   Now, I love this one, this is my personal favourite.   Hullo. Yes this is Mrs Smith. Who am I speaking to?  Oh Mary. Is that you Mary? Mary  Jones?  Really! Mary Jones from  school. Oh My God.  Mary, Mary how are you? I haven’t seen you in ages! Oh wow, this is so exciting.  Did you hear about my Mum, No?.. really didn’t your Mum tell you?  She  was arrested!  How crazy is that, well evidently she was on her cell phone. Oh Mary, this is such a long story but you will love it.  She was on her cell and had nothing to write on so she wrote on the wall with chalk and was arrested for graffiti- ing! And they put her in a  paddy wagon and then..  (click)

4. Another favourite. Though not John’s. Oh you want Mr Smith. Oh I am so sorry dear, he is dead, in fact he just died .. we are waiting for the priest. (click)

5. Or (and this one is such fun).. tell Mary the telemarketer all about your husband /wife who is a hideous drunk and never comes home , won’t  let you have  the check book, won’t bring in the wood, leaves a mess in the bathroom, drops his towels all over, won’t share the dog,  hates everything you cook..  Go to town make up all kinds of  graphic stuff.. (click)

6. This is my fall back one when I am feeling lazy.. pretend to be the housekeeper with limited english.  So sorry I no understanding!! I do this one ALL the TIME!.

7. Oh this is awesome! Put on a really posh Personal Assistant voice  ( I am really good at this one) and say .. Oh you would like to speak with  Mrs Smith? Oh  (posh pause) Well are you on The List dear? You know you cannot talk to her unless you are on the List! Well I am so sorry Mary, but I cannot find you in the book!  Can I put you on hold?  (click)

8. This one I used ten minutes ago. Are you there? I am sorry I can’t hear you?  Are you there? Darling is that you? I am so sorry, I can’t hear you, call back honey.  I am so sorry I did not mean any of it really, it was not my fault, I am so sorry. Call me back, call me back (click)

9. My all time favorite!  Oh Mary, I am so sorry but this is a bad time – Can I have your home phone number so that I can call you back when you are having your dinner?

These poor chappies and chapesses are only doing their job so we must not be cruel.  Well, not much. AND they will be as mystified as you are at any given moment.

HEY thanks for reading! Big huge 100 posts, 13,000 hits in three months, I won’t go into details and all that but thanks for all the comments, I love chatting with you and also if you want to steal the thread. GO FOR IT!  And again Love, love the chats.  Have fun..

Remember it is a journey, not a destination!

Is that a combine harvester in the field next door!?

Tomorrow.. Netball! PROMISE!

c