I was a very young Mum when I got a job for six weeks working with the night nurse at an old folks home. There were two of us and not very much to do, so the other nurse delightfully, arrived each night with her blanket and her pillow, set up the drugs trolley, changed any dressings, helped me with anything heavy, collected the laundry, folded it in front of TV, then stretched out full length on one of the couches in the day room, and went to sleep until the first rounds at 6.00 am.
I did not mind really, I had 32 old ladies and gentlemen all to myself. I had a full house every night. So I would push my evening trolley around, and doled out cups of hot cocoa from enormous stainless steel jugs and the sleeping pills or a glass of sherry. I turned off lights, said good nights and tweaked blankets as I went around.
None of these people were sick you understand, they were just old. In my book old is not an illness. Some of them were a little surprised when I made the offer of a sherry or a sedative (never both). I always checked and noted the charts as to who was allowed sherry and who was not. Any unused pills were charted as untaken and returned to the bottles. And one or two ladies did look surprised, proceeded to hide their surprise and then said yes please, the sherry dear and don’t be mean with the pouring.
Now a sedative will knock you out for the whole night, and then leaves you groggy for hours upon waking, sometimes you will need toileting and turning in the night if you are sedated and not everyone really needs a sedative. And these old people had worked hard all their lives, held all manner of jobs, raised children, worked on farms and survived through wars. They were used to being independent and getting up EARLY. A sedative will stop that. And as my sherries spread in popularity and the snores from the nurse in the front room got deeper, I began to get early morning visitors. Really early morning.
After settling the oldies, I would do the cleaning then between my corridor walks I would work my way through Cooks List. Prepping all the vegetables for lunch the next day, starting the soups for the dinner, baking, peeling apples for apple sauce, defrosting the meat, writing up the order book, all that kind of thing. It was a large kitchen, warm not cavernous like some of the older ones I had worked in, it felt like a regular kitchen. It had windows above the counters, two ovens, huge mixers and herbs on the sill, lots of counter space, and a really big walk in chiller.
It started as a bell, at 4 in the morning. Instead of buzzers all the residents had been given little tinkly bells, some were china, some were brass, cows bells, they all had a bell. Buzzers were for emergencies. Could I have a cup of tea sweetheart. And I began to toddle back and forth with trays of tea. Soon as they became more confident, they would appear at the kitchen door and not wanting to bother me, could they make their own cup of tea? Seeing as how I was so busy and sorry dear but you always make it too weak, though we do appreciate you trying dear. I would hear the ‘we’ then look past the smiling blue blue eyes, it was usually Mrs Lilac (I have changed the names so that no-one gets in trouble) and see two or three other even older sherry ladies lurking out in the corridor. After a few nights of this I reorganised a space on one of the counters with all the makings for a cup of tea. So they could just pop in and out.
Then they began to loiter, drinking their tea in the kitchen watching me work. Then the tea pots were too big and they were not familiar with these T baggie thingies dear so I began to bring my own silver tea pot from home that was just the right size. (I am sure you remember the tea pot story ). They loved to hear that story, they got to own the story of the day I melted my mothers silver tea pot and the ensuing drama. As each new lady joined the circle of night visitors they would tell it all over again. They were thrilled to pour their tea out of my mothers heat dented silver tea pot with its legs melted off and its collapsed lid. Then a tea cosy appeared to cover it. Then a tea caddy with good strong tea leaves in it appeared each night in the tea corner. Then they were bringing their own cups: I hope you don’t mind dear but your cups are just so fat dear. I love a good cup.
I worked five nights a week, for six weeks and a little routine developed. Once everyone was settled in for the night (meaning Nursey with the blanket) I would drag a table and chairs out of the gloomy dining room and set them up outside the double kitchen doors. There would be a few midnight visitors and in the early morning my other ladies would begin to whisper out of their rooms, like tall shadows leaking out of the darkened corridors, touching their fingers along the walls for comfort. They would sit around their table with another pot of tea, watching for the sunrise through the kitchen windows. They began to raid my cookies as they came out of the oven. Those are for afternoon tea Mrs Lilac. I would say. I know dear, yes I do know. I will let them cool a little. Her lovely long hands lined with raised veins and bruises and fragile nails, rings running loose and twinkly around her fingers, reaching for hot cookies.
Soon it was: I hope you don’t mind Cecilia dear, but we thought maybe we could just whip up a quick batch of cookies ourselves. Would that be alright? I mean yours are good but Miss Jo was a cooking teacher for fifty odd years dear and she does make lovely oatmeal cookies. So they are taking turns making cookies and then cakes in the night. Getting up earlier and earlier. Jostling and laughing in the softest voices, their reflections moving about in the dark night windows. Pouring and sifting and stirring. You go and check if nurse is still asleep dear we are fine. We will have some dishes for you soon. Oh Cecilia, I might just help you with this stock for the soup dear. Taking the spoon: watch now dear.
Well you all better be back in bed by 6.00 and pretending to be fast asleep. I would say. Oh we will dear, don’t you worry, I just wanted to make that chocolate cake that my old Alfred, god rest his soul, used to be so partial too. And those dear little club sandwiches, we will wrap them in wet towels and they will be perfect for morning tea. And you know how Myrtle worries in the night about getting the mutton done for the shearers, a little sandwich in the night settles her dear. She is just a wee bit confused sometimes. We will just sneak one out for her with a cup of tea, why don’t you take that down to her dear and oh I might just sneak one for myself. Do you want a club sandwich Dorothy. It is the bread dear. You have to have the thinnest bread.
You understand now don’t you, it took me a while. It was the kitchen they were visiting, not me. Their own kitchens had been their own kingdoms for all those years. Then they had lost their kitchens. So very gently and very cleverly I was moved aside and they took over mine.
One night, as I sat at the table in the corridor peeling apples and watching my bright group of old women, their hair in plaits or curlers, their nighties and cardigans and worn dressing gowns in layers, the bows of their aprons tied firmly into the small of their backs. Bony bare ankles peeping out from worn slippers, hands kneading and whisking and slamming the stove door. Necks stretched to see. You know you are going to get me into trouble, I said to the ladies showing me how to peel apples. I have children to feed you know. We know dear and I am sure they are such dear wee children too.
I hear a squeak of wheels coming down the dark corridor and there is Old Miss Poppy who usually walks very slowly with a cane, being pushed in a wheelchair by The Elder Miss Mabel. In Miss Poppy’s lap she holds a package wrapped in brown paper. She has The Tongue! Elder Miss Mabel announced and Old Miss Poppy smiled and bobbed her head as she was blithely wheeled past me and into my crowded kitchen at some ridiculously early hour of the morning. Tongue? what tongue?I choked. Why dear a cows tongue Mrs Lilac said and smiled. I do miss tongue, called back Miss Poppy.
The next morning, when all the furniture had been put away. The cookies were all in jars, the apple sauce steaming in its crock and the oatmeal soaking in warm water. The windows were pushed open to invite in the cool early sunshine and all my ladies were safely back in their beds. I told Cook, as she took off her jacket, hung it on a hook and reached for her kitchen shoes, that there was a large cow’s tongue, cooked, peeled and cooling in the walk-in chiller. I waited apprehensively. She looked at me and smiled as she struggled to tie her apron about her Rubenesque girth.
Oh, Lovely. Holding my eyes for just a shade too long. Then smiled. Good. She nodded. Well, you know dear, she said. You have a week left of nights, don’t you? You see I am taking a month off in a fortnight. Now, Matron is quite impressed with all the cooking, those soups are so good and your cakes dear. Very good. Her eyelid fluttered into what looked suspiciously like a wink. I think Matron is going to ask you to fill in as Cook for the month I am away. I know the residents will be pleased.
But you do go through rather a lot of aprons dear, you need to think of the laundry…
c


103 responses to “Cooking Nights with the Old Folks”
A truly beautiful piece of writing. Thank you for your compassion both in the way you treated these women and the way you described them to us. 🙂
Thank you jessica, it is always a pleasure for me to write a piece like this because i get to go back and visit them too! c
You make me cry too. Can I tell you the reverse of this story? We took Mum in law on holiday last year and rented a cottage. She like all your ladies doesn’t sleep so long and is always awake at 3 or 4 am. She lives in residential care and has done for several years now. While we were there I set it up so she could make herself a cup of tea in the night if she wanted to. At first she was unsure, but I measured out the water into the kettle that she would need and left everything out. She got back into the swing of it pretty quickly. When she went back to the residential home, this is where it gets so sad, she asked if she could make her own tea and they said No. And we got told off for encouraging her to be independent. Our residential homes are for the most part warehouses, you would have been sacked if you had worked in the one MIL lives in. Health and Safety, Rules and Insurance, the world gone mad and the joy of being in a kitchen, being purposeful and connected out of your reach forever. I could move her to another one, but they are all the same, some more beautifully equipped than others, more modern than others, but none of them allow their residents into the kitchen of the place they are supposed to call Home.
That is so sad Joanna. These modern facilities sound so .. um.. safe. My ladies took over my kitchen over thirty years ago now and in New Zealand. And NZ has never been an insurance driven society. I am sure they were not meant to be in the kitchen but no-one actually told me to keep them out. Not that I would have anyway. I was also very young and trained to respect my elders. Plus my own granny was older than most of these women and still running her own home. The really interesting thing was that the children and nieces and nephews of these oldies seemed to be in collusion, as some of those ingredients were not from my kitchen! Your MIL must look forward to having a break with you every now and then. Though I do know that it gets more difficult as time goes on. Maybe we should design our own home, there must be safety features we can put in place that allows a woman to be able to make a sandwich and a cuppa in the night.. c
We see a lot of MIL as she is not very far away, we moved her into town to be nearer us and we take the dogs into see her, with their unsanitary little feet and licky chops and they visit with all the ladies and gentlemen there too who make a big fuss of them. She has spent a large part of this year in hospital, so is a bit fragile right now. Your story just reminded me of when we first had to look for a place for her. To be fair there are now different grades of care and some newer places are designed to allow you to have some autonomy, but it sounds as if what your old ladies wanted was you as much as the kitchen. They would hardly have gone in there had you not been there to welcome them 😀
I am so pleased that she is closer to you and Excellent that zeb goes in and slobbers over everyone.. TonTon is being trained to visit old people, they love dogs .. I just have to teach him not to offer his paw, unless I say, because the old skin can tear so easily, but I think he will do just nicely.. I teach him each persons name and as he goes to the person whose name i have called out they laugh like drains.. hmm.. .. i have a great fondness for the old folks.. c
You added sparkle, happy anticipation and love into their lives. The elderly have become a forgotten generation. Thank you for making these precious souls even if for those few weeks a remembered generation.
Thank you mae, I still have old people that i work with and i make very sure that we can keep them in their own homes as long as we can. .. these old ladies taught me a lot.. c
I just had to let you know that we spent the day with my son’s great-grandmother today. The 5-year old and this awesome 86-year old were chatting animatedly about Ninjas! Plus I got to learn firsthand how to make a perfect Persian dish from her. You’re right C, these old folks have so much to teach us! I’m glad I dropped by today and read your beautiful story. Sharon x
Thank you sharon, that connection from really old to really young is quite a special one, bet he loves his great grandma, I think everyone should be involved with at least one old person on a regular basis. Imagine how much better our cooking would be! c
We rarely have nursing homes back in the Philippines and it is usually their children takes care of them. Your job before would be so hard giving aal that love to them but I guess it would be so fulfilling
It was fulfilling raymond. really it was.. c
What a lovely story, Cecilia, and such a wonderful job you had. Fulfilling indeed, as Raymund said. I am so fascinated by elderly people…they have so much knowledge, experience and character. I love it.
Thank you caroline. I think we should all have an old person. If you live far away from your own old people just get out there and find another one, I like the cantankerous old codgers the best! or old ladies who cook.. c
You are truly a gifted story teller
I loved reading every single word
Thank you, I love that you are reading .. take care.. c
Fabulous story! Love all the shoes!
I know aren’t they cool, Yummy, i found them in a market in london last year! I wanted them ALL!
This is a lovely story, written with a deft touch. It sits gently in my morning. Thankyou.
Thank you Annie. c
This story has made my day. It has put a huge smile on my face and tears in my eyes. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you Bruisemouse, it is great to hear a comment like that..c
Vividly and touchingly told story 🙂
Thank you Cindy, hope you are having a great weekend.. c
You have a wide spread appreciation for the human experience, from the littlies to the old folks.
There is a sweet loving in your story telling that touches and gathers up the hearts of your readers. I’m glad to be among them.
Thank you.
You are so welcome Annie, and thank you that was a really wonderful thing to say.. c
You made me cry too… You are like an angel dear Cecilia, how I love you, through all your stories. You did great… I can almost feel their happiness with you. And be sure, I will be always your reader, and I can read you forever, just I pray for myself not to forget this language… Blessing and Happiness, Thank you, with my love, nia
No don’t forget your english! keep practicing Nia, c