Before your teeny tiny story. We need to do our homework! First, I must say Thank you to Darling Jess from the Mist who gives me awards and advice about sheep feet, Mama is still the same but these things take time. I may be back for more advice I think.
Patchwork of Life ( wonderful girl) and Nia (my first blog buddy ever), have both sent awards to me over the last few weeks and I want to say a great big thank you. And if you have the time drop in, their work speaks for itself. Lovely.
Sorry it took me so long. Life on the Farmy gets so much busier over the winter. It is not just opening and shutting gates and laying about in the sun anymore. Fresh grass begets dry grass and dry grass becomes hay and must to be Carried. Though I love hanging out in the barn.
These 1950’s half gallon milk bottles were what I found in California. I pretended to buy them for Our John, but he pretended to buy me a hay bailer so I think that is fair! There are six bottles AND a crate. They already have milk in them. Perfect for what lies ahead.
Sush from Pursuit of Happiness sent me an award today! Thank you Sush. Beautiful girl.
Now, I know I am supposed to name 15,000 new blogs for you to check out but instead I promise to upgrade my blog roll. Everyone is so dreadfully busy now. I shall begin this tonight so when you next visit, pop over to the Blog Roll for a look see. “Cop out!” I hear you say. Ah well.
Sawson who is Disguised as a Chef, bless her, went into my new Facebook page with her techno hammer and bashed things about a bit and now it works JUST FINE. So armed with my Katherine Instructions, the Kitchens Garden Project will begin its slow climb out of obscurity on the way to making Vege Gardens sexy again. And we will all start swapping plants with our neighbours and saving all our seeds in case the New Zealand government decides we should not be allowed to store them anymore. Though if they cannot catch a few fellas growing cannabis, I have no idea how they think they are going to outlaw cabbages!
Now, I shall tell you a very short story about when I was kidnapped from my usual solitary Christmas and whisked off to my best friends family Christmas day. By the way I was quite happy to spend Christmas day by myself (click for a quick explanation) but she insisted and so off we went to have Christmas lunch.
The Sister-in-Law and her family lived in one of those posh places in a very posh area. The house had a kind of purposeful dishevelment. That anti keeping-up-with-the-Jonses that is more Jonsey than the Jonses themselves. Well, you know the kind of place. She had three darling daughters who were charging from room to room, as kids do at Christmas, almost knocking us down as we entered through the back door. Screeching with hot breath. They were overjoyed with life. It was late Christmas morning and they had stripped the Christmas tree of its strings of golden decorations and hung them around their necks. They bounced and skidded in all directions with these gorgeous bright golden Christmas decorations flying out behind them. Like dancing golden pearls on dancing summer flowers.
Feeling like the drab orphan, I was shuffled in and introduced to the slightly standoffish Sister-in-Law, who was not charmed to be having an extra person at the dinner table and proceeded to make a big show of sending the hysterical girls off to go and get the Extra Chair. Silence reigned for a moment. I shook her hand and handed her the bottle of champagne I had brought. (Never go to someone’s home to eat with one arm as long as the other.) I noticed that she too was wearing a string of golden baubles. Though the golden balls on her string were a little bigger than the girls and slightly brushed.
“Oh!” I said, searching for conversation as she narrowed her eyes at the label on the wine. “I see that you have joined the girls when they raided the tree, and you are wearing Christmas Decorations too. How fun!” Silence. I trailed off.
I heard a snort like a little pig, from my best school friend behind me. This was answered by the most eye watering swallowed snort of laughter from her brother, who was standing behind his wife the Sister-in-Law. Without warning we were all caught in this terrible tableaux, no-one looking at me, with these two strangled snorts of laughter ringing in the air. I looked back at my best school friend who, fingers to her mouth and eyes wild, whirled around and studied the wall. Her shoulders held at that exact quivering straightness that denotes extreme pressure from within. I turned back to my hostess. Looking straight at me, The Sister-in-Law handed the wine off to the husband behind her. He took it and rushed for the kitchen.
“No,” said the sister in law with an arched brow, drawing herself up to her full and quite daunting height. Her extra chin betraying a certain amount of controlled tension. “These are NOT plastic Christmas decorations.” Her words spat. I took a small step backwards.
” These”, and she tapped the gold baubles around her neck with a manicured fingernail. “are solid GOLD. I have just received them from my husband, for Christmas.” Haughty is one word to describe her Sweep from the room. Disdainful would be another.
“Oh dear.” I said to the room. My best friend was gagging with laughter behind me. Choke, I thought.
c
The Kitchen's Garden 
67 responses to “Fabulous Friends and the tiniest Christmas Story. Just for laughs!”
Ha! Love it. reminds me of way too many times when I’ve said the wrong thing, and no doubt there are more to come!
And congratulations on your awards which reminds me I must do my thank you post…..
Yes those Oh Dear moments. Life is full of them over here in the midwest compounded by my quite British Accent when I am nervous.. Oh Dear.. c
Can we use the word pompous? You gave me a good laugh for the day! I love your milk bottles – reminds me of my mother’s stories of life on the farm when she was young! I must check out the blogs you suggested! Have a lovely day!
You too Phyllis, you get up as early as i do!! c
What a nice story, I always love your stories dear Cecilia. Your milk bottles are amazing. You did right by buying them… I love these old milk bottles. And I am glad you found them. You are welcome my dear friend, how much I love your posts, your daily notes, and your stories… of course your amazing photographs too… Thank you, Blessing and Happiness, with my love, nia
Have a lovely evening Nia. And a lovely day tomorrow.. c
May I hire you? I could use your snappy comments in certain family circumstances.
Your storytelling abilities rank as truly worthy of book-publishing. That should be your next venture. Honestly. I am telling the truth.
i was just trying to be nice.. and thank you Audrey for your kind words, i am writing but I am sporadic, i need to focus! thank you .. c
Omg!! too funny…I think I’d have rather stayed home alone!! But then again, just for kicks and a great story to tell later on, it was all well worth it!!
It was not a day i repeated that is for sure.. in fact i was never invited back! c
haha! methinks miss golden bauble lady could use a few days on the farm, for humility’s sake! Great post; enjoy your weekend!
Maybe you can have her, put her on a horsey and slap the flank! c
You are such a talented writer Cecilia! This story is hilarious. I would love to have seen the look on the SIL’s face! And I echo all the others as well…love the milk bottles. 🙂
Thanks Kristy but I must reiterate i did not mean to be mean, I genuinely though she was wearing christmas decorations so the joke was definitely on me! My innocent look must have been hysterical! c
I think both of you deserve those gifts you got for each other (really yourself lol). My mom and my stepfather do that to each other all the time lol. And Congrats on the awards :). And you should know you already make Vege Gardens sexy 🙂
Actually we could use that line in promotions couldn’t we The Sexy Vege!! um garden.. oh well it does not rhyme really! c
I’m always armed with Katherine instructions too. Oh, that was too easy. Hee, hee. Glad Sawsan helped too. Great story.
I gave you that one greg!! c
It’s too bad when people are so defined by ‘things’ that their entire world crumbles when those ‘things’ are threatened somehow. We have a guest staying next door (we run a vacation rental here in Hawaii). He left his hat out in the garage on a chair where our youngest (rescue) dog snatched it up and had herself a long chew. He was so distressed about this hat, despite our warnings that the dog was new to us and despite our advertising that we have dogs here. He said to me from atop the stairs, in response to my offer to replace it, “Imagine if someone gave Chris (my husband) something that couldn’t be replaced.” (When I recounted this story to Chris, he said, “Like a leg?” But I digress …). Anyhow, I went online for no more than 15 minutes and found the exact hat he had purchased 7 yrs. ago – an expensive Italian merino wool cap. I promptly ordered it and it arrived yesterday. The exact hat. Now my bet is that, since he’s not been able to look me in the eye since our encounter and turns the other way when he sees me coming – that he won’t even be able to wear the hat again because of his shame at being so foolish about it. But you know, there is nothing to be done about these kinds of people – this man, the humorless bauble wearer, the too-attached-to-things kinds of folks – except to, in our better moments, offer a sort of prayer for their release from suffering.
Blessings to you, dear Celia!
I think you were very kind to buy him the exact same one. What a silly old duffer. But I had a good old laugh at Chris’ answer “Like a leg?” And the guilt of his over reaction will make him miserable too. His bad behaviour will certainly drag on him. c
Oh and by the way – my first inclination was that someONE had given this man his hat who was dear to him – or had perhaps died. His wife told me no, it had nothing to do with someone else – it was a hat he himself had found at Eddie Bauer. Sigh.
(shakes head!).. c
ROFL Rumpy’s Jen here. Oh I do love people like that. Reminds me of my mother. Nothing I have ever done has EVER pleased her, but this year Christmas will be great fun, because The-Child-Who-Could-Do-No-Wrong has finally done something to displease the old girl! I’m so proud of him!!!!
Excellent!! Oh good for him, Do thank him. So nice for him to be in the dog box for a change! c
Well done .. .but written under the influence of wine? Just kidding … and congrats on those awards! Sorry I haven’t been around much of late – work getting in the way – Heck, having a hard keeping up on my own site, let alone visiting other places. Hope all is well.
Congrats!
Have a lovely christmas yummy! c
And here I thought I was the only one who would make such a blunder – shame C, I can just imagine how the rest of that Christmas lunch went…
🙂 Mandy
Oh Mandy you are not alone!! and you are so right about the rest of that lunch! c