Between Relationships

I think my best and most thoughtful work on the farm is in achieving a daily balance of health and contentment between all the souls who live on and orbit around the farmy.   Keeping the motion swinging. Allowing all the souls their space while keeping them safe. But allowing them the freedom to grow. Developing the relationships between animals and the earth and the people. The harmony.  And harmony takes work  as you know.

I have discovered an interesting series of stages of connections between myself and any guests who stay longer than a week or so. Hugo is one of these guests. Amanda was another. Fede.  People like this come knowing they are going to be here for a long time and this opens up great avenues of double sided learning.

When they first come they know they have time to discover their place in the farm. They do bits of this and that for a week or maybe 10 days – they get to know the dogs, then the smaller animals and particularly the birds, then they begin to get busy in the kitchen. I have always found the kitchen to be the first real connection between the people on the farm. Often that first connection comes when we are doing the dishes. Then after about a week or so (with encouragement) they begin to cook for everyone – then and most importantly they bring out their music. 

Now, it is relatively safe to wash and dry dishes and chat in the kitchen, it is a little scarier to cook for a group of people  you are getting to know but there is something very good and deep and vulnerable and primitive  and terrifying about sharing your taste in music. Your favourite songs, your favourite artists. Your favourite sound. Playing your music for a person you are getting to know is like showing them a little of your soul. So much hurt can come showing a little of your soul and so much hurt can come from denying a soul its music.   And souls are so fragile. Souls need care.

And once trust has begun then comes The Swing.  After we have shared our work, and our food and our music. After we have hummed each others melodies while sharing chores in the kitchen, before putting on our gumboots and going out to work on the farm, sharing disasters, sunsets,  frights and laughs, after all this The Swing begins to develop. The rhythm happens. Oh, this is a wonderful moment. Do you know this one?   A bucket is lifted and passed without words, a gate is opened, you step through and he closes it behind you both.  The truck is loaded, the doors slam and you are away with no need for English, or Spanish, or French. An eyebrow lifted means: Guess how many eggs.  A hand on a door means: I am ready. The catch of an eye means something entirely different and only you two know what. 

These relationships (and after all EVERYTHING ON EARTH is about relationships) are nurtured and cultivated and learned. Every one is different. And every one is of paramount importance. And a very few will be lifelong.  Such a gift is a lifelong friend. But each one brings learning and emotional nutrition and a certain peace.

And this is wonderful.

I remember someone saying to me, in reference to a mutual friend, that “he has a heart so big people keep stepping all over it”  Everyone has that heart. Everyone has a heart that can be stepped on, dreams that can be squashed, music that can be denied. As people of the earth, and wild women to boot, we must be careful to nurture anothers dreams.

Josh has left and he was the last of the short term working guests for this summer. Hugo will be staying another couple of months, his family will visit and the families of my friends will visit but I have closed The Kitchens for new Woofers until next spring. And there are so many people already booking to come back next summer that we are assured of an exciting year.  I do love these summers full of  summer people.

I gave Hugo my phone to go take a picture of the sunset, he had run in to tell me about, and here it is. Interesting that he chose the panoramic, wide view. I think he loves the open spaces.

I hope you all have a lovely day,

your friend on the farm

celi