As we slowly slide up and down the temperature scale, wandering through another wintery season of inclement weather reminiscent of the 70’s when I lived here last. I am struck by how much easier life is when you allow the inevitable flux of patterns and puzzles and allow Time herself a voice in your daily analog. Giving the passing of time a value in your calculations. 
I am a terrible one for answering other peoples questions before they ask them, finishing their sentences before they have their thoughts in order, rushing to and fro at a furious pace often without my mind even Turned On. I want everything done right now and just so. Head down to combat the wind thinking only where is it coming from, who is in a draft. Which doors should I shut. Is that ice underfoot? Not: what has come with this wind? What followed the wind last time it was here? What will this ice mean to the soil this year. This would help me create the pattern and prepare.
If we lean on our metaphorical gate and watch carefully we will be able to work out our environment and where we fit into it. We can see the elastic sides in our lives that we can grow into or through and the rigid areas that will hurt our toes and shins if keep fight them. We can see where we can sit and how much we can use without overloading. We can see where some relationships make you doubt yourself – and others, though wreathed in mist, are worth fighting for. We can see that there is no belonging, no quick fix, no eternal happiness, there is only Time and her attendants The Four Seasons. Dawn will come whether we stand on the grass and shout for it or not. The same with love of your person. And a piece of land to sit on. 
Thought, contemplation, allowing an idea to develop over time, are the most natural ways of coming to a decision. It allows for generations of gathering. An old fashioned thought: to build something that will stand the test of time as it revolves and nibbles and changes.
We have to believe in our gentle earth and trust our children (whether they are children of our own line or children of the forest of life). To attempt to control it all is arrogant and ill considered. In fact controlling your entire environment and the people in it is self destructive. It is the disease of kings. You can’t keep it all. Time won’t let you. Life can be diabolical one minute and plain sailing the next and when you go back and think about it there was nothing much that caused the change, merely time. Trust. Trust Time. Watch for her patterns.
Of course you can influence your life. Time is only a journey to the grave if you do not speak up and sing and learn and report and improve and build and grow. And for this we need to put our own beliefs into a coherent honest pattern. What is in your little book of beliefs. What are your beliefs? What do you believe in? Where is your voice in your life. Wild Life, and portent and disasters and victories are all there if you look for them. Once you see the pattern you can gently nudge life with your elbow and avoid some direct hits. Or simply put your head down and work your way through it. But if you are not sure of your manifesto it is hard not to get glass rocks knocking on your eye often. Glancing off your head. And that gets frustrating. Where are the hail balls coming from? Why are they being hurled at Your head? Catch them. Time and watching will tell you. They mean something. 
I have always said; be careful not to sleep through your life. I have seen people wake up at 45 and go, what the hell just happened. Is this my life? Then they run about causing all kind of chaos trying to Find Themselves. When sitting still and watching the patterns in the rivers of time throughout their lives would have answered every single question. Resulting in a more definite nurturing change. A lasting one.
Time will sort it for you as long as you allow it to. If you are on a diet which we all do here and there and if we write it in a diary we realise that every winter we put on a few extra pounds to combat the cold and every year we think OH MY GOD MY ASS IS FAT! Then we eat cabbage for a long time and things go back to normal. Well not normal actually as that is a state of mind not one of us can call our own. There is no normal. There is peace sometimes. This is part of the puzzle too. Where do we find peace. When do have one of those fleeting truly happy moments. 
Because they are only moments. But very addictive moments. To strive is sublime. Failing is part of the pattern. Failing twice is Time’s Lesson. But only if you and I are wide awake will we see it. Puzzle out the Pattern.
Have you ever looked back over a day and thought thank God I took that turn, or opened that door, or listened to that person, or saw that flash in the trees. What would have happened if I had missed that. Those moments are the ones when we got it right and we let the pattern show. We had Time and Her Voice turned on in our brains. Now imagine if we had our minds so Turned On – all the time, that we saw those slow moving signs. Often.
Of course I do not mean to lie down and let life run over you. Life and Time and their Bridesmaids respect determination and intelligent thoughtful purpose. But how often have you noticed that when you force something and bash everyone over the head to get it Right Now: ultimately, inexorably/ slowly, life will teach you a better way, and then Time will be there with you to pick up all the pieces you broke on your rampage to get what you want. And Time will teach you to watch for the puzzles and patterns in our lives that teach us and direct us. If we are awake to see it.
Good morning. Does any of that make any sense? I am really trying to puzzle this out.
Dawn is almost here. I must run.
I will come back with my coffee after the chores to read your comments and see what you think. Wish I could HEAR what you think. Wish we could sit down and TALK this Time.
Have a lovely day.
Love your friend on the Farmy,
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
72 responses to “Puzzles and Patterns”
There is a wonderful book called WHEREVER YOU GO THERE YOU ARE by Jon Kabat Zen on the art of mindfulness, being in the moment. Being conscious of and concentrating on your breath. I happen to be rereading it for the 3rd time–or more because I need reminding to say the least.
I shall look for it. Thank you Equus. Any book worth re- reading is a good book indeed.. c
OH BOY that was mind blowing!! I have a big problem with TIME. I was a Project Manager for an international computer company, that charged clients $200 for every hour of my time, and I was expected to not only book as many hours as possible, but justify to each client the worth of this time. Therefore I spent years looking at my watch, planning time down to the last minute. Putting projects together like a big puzzle, piecing mine and other co workers time together to accomplish the end project on TIME and on BUDGET! So these past five years of my semi retirement I am having to wean myself off watching Time. I have to make myself leave my watch off!I have to not plan every single minute of my day, or get upset if my ‘planning’ does not work and I don’t get a task done in an allotted time. I am now trying to teach myself to pause and let time pass me by, and be in the moment for no other reason than to enjoy doing nothing! I am starting to view Time as a different entity, and not my enemy.
As far as puzzles and patterns go, I have always seen them everywhere, only now I am starting to enjoy my part in them, instead of trying to make them fit my projects!
Hugs, Lyn
ah, that is a big change for you..instead of chasing time you are teaching yourself how to sit in the flow of it.. hard work! At least you see what you are striving for, that is wonderful. When is your daughter due. Soon? c
Not until June, she will be here for her birthday on the 10th! I am frantically painting everything that stands still long enough, as I know once the warmer weather gets here I will be full time out in the gardens!
In my experience, time changes as you progress through life. To a twenty year old, old age is some mythical time where grandparents and other old folks live. And to go from Monday to Friday is a long time. To a 50 year old, life may be half over but there is still a lot of time left. Where I am in life, I know time is not infinite for me, that THAT time is approaching and I have to make the most of the time I have left. And time speeds up. My dad said that when I was in my twenties. I didn’t quite understand him then but I sure do now.
On another note, I was hoping you would post a picture of yesterday’s sunset. I wish I could have gotten a video of it. It was beautiful and your photo captured it.
Such a thoughtful provocative treatise on one of the most significant forces in life. Harnessing Time and her “bridesmaids” toward accomplishing my own ends I have found to be virtually impossible. Because, as you have said here so eloquently, “life will teach you a better way.”
A very thought provoking post indeed. All the fellowship posts equally as stimulating. I feel so at home and feel like I have gotten to know a lot of different people through “the farmy” because we have spent time together, shared your life’s ups,downs and sideways laundry basket moments together. We have witnessed birth, death, travel, seasons…together and yet most of us could sit across a table and not recognize each other because we have never met in person, in real time.
My daughter speaks of no “me time”. Honestly I didn’t even consider “me time” when I was a young mother. So I ask ..what is “me time” ?? I think I get what she means….and I find it perplexing in the
context of what we speak of this morning. I am going to send her your/our musings..
warmestwintertosoonspringhugs, Nanster
How odd that you are thinking of time, and not you, but the whole farmy family. I, too, have been thinking of time. But time in relation to my life now…my life at 65. In some ways it feels like time has left me…here I am in the last 15 minutes of the hour of my life. I’m not complaining nor am I afraid, nor have I approached this 15 minutes as if time has ran out. It is just an awareness…
I am now here…very close to the end…very close to the next step of being human I can feel it. Still I am not afraid. Nor do I think I’m dying tomorrow, it’s just that time as I once had stretching onward and onward for ever and ever is no more. I have reached the bend in the road, I can see the light in the end of the tunnel…I still have time because the end is BEYOND the bend in the road and BEYOND the light in the tunnel…but I know I am close.
It is really a rather peaceful feeling…to see the bend or the tiny little pin prick of light ahead. the goal is near.
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
Like you I am in the last 15mins (64), and can echo your feelings. I am not about to give up, but in the back of my mind is the fact my Dad died at 69, as did his father. On the other hand my Mum will be 89 this year – so I wonder which I will take after. but again like you I am not scared for myself, just those I leave behind, mainly my animals. I so hope I out live them and have told myself I am to get no more, because dead or not I know it would hurt me if they are left lonely!!
Being such a deeply selfish person I am hoping you are not as close to the White Light at the end of a long long tunnel as you think. But I can see what you are saying and it says a lot about you as a person. This is where Your peace comes from. Your hard earned knowledge of life and its pragmatism (that may not be the right word but it is evening now, after thinking about your comment for hours, and I have had a glass of wine).. or as you say Awareness. Such a beautiful comment. So much loving in it.. But stick around.. we need your wiseness yet.. you have a mind stacked up with knowledge and care.. you are very important .. c
Awww! Thank you. I’m sure I’m going to be around for a long time. 15 minutes in the space of a hour is long…the last quarter of life is also long. But finally the sense of urgency, the need to fly forward, to make huge goals and create the steps to the goals are gone now. I still have goals, like writing the book(s) and making a small business out of my fabric flowers—but I don’t have the intense wild desires to rush head-long — to demand that the day is filled with every step possible to get me there. Like a cow I can now amble along, or a fun pig or a bouncy dog I can cavort through the minutes of each day toward evening, knowing that I will reach the end. In some way.
I think really there is a peace in my soul [now] that I’ve never really had before which is the gift of knowing it’s okay to allow time to slow down.
Linda
http;//coloradofarmlife@wordpress.com
Eloquently and profoundly rendered. Your words pierce the soul on it’s journey onwards, in motion, in process; total wow
and you were preying on my mind while I was writing it ‘gnat.. the restfulness of the idea. c
I love this quote by Portia Nelson, for me it encapsulate beautifully the whole waking up and seeing the patterns part of the journey ….. sorry, it’s a bit long,
I’m walking down the street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in.
I am lost… I am helpless.
It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it.
I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But, it isn’t my fault.
It still takes me a long time to get out.
I walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there.
I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open.
I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
walk down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
I walk down another street.”
Oh Nanette, how wonderful. This is just perfect. thank you.. c
Lots of food for thought today, Celi, and wise words. Thanks.
What a wonderful, thought provoking post. It’s also something that I’ve thought about since moving here – I wonder whether having those four distinct seasons and especially the winter that forces you to slow down has helped shape my feelings towards time and life’s cycles. This is one of the gifts of winter – a reminder that everything has to rest and that things will take the time they take.
If you follow anything in the act of it’s existence, like a bird taking a bath, a snowflake falling from the sky, icicles melting, a Marmalade kitten sleeping, you are taken to the quiet beginnings, that very instant from where being starts. What makes these moments so precious is the freshness of their being, their birth and the only way we can notice them is by slowing down.
Unfortunately most of us are operating in top gear, high paced, running so fast to where we want to be that many of us never slow down until we are forced to. We are such peculiar creatures in this. I am sure if we were to look at ourselves through a magnifiying glass, as if from far away, we would look just like an army of ants scurrying around, running into things, bumpng into obstacles and then shaking our heads and running into them again.
Like this beautiful planet we live on, the earth beneath our feet, our existence moves so slowly through time, that we often take it for granted. It is only our “busy”ness that makes it seem as if we never have enough time. There is nothing so important that we shouldn’t stop to smell the flowers along the way.
This thing about the seasons, you and I both transported to countries with such defined seasons: this is a very good point. The seasons. Time’s Bridesmaids create very strong patterns over on this side of the world. Hmm.. great comment.. c
A wonderful thought provoking post, far too good to read and walk away, so I shall reblog it for all my followers to read. Many thanks.
Reblogged this on Grannymar and commented:
‘Time will sort it for you as long as you allow it to’. A post worth giving time and thought to!
Your words are beautiful & profound, and within the chorus of Commenters Lounge as always I feel quite among good company. I am also a terrible one in the ways you describe.
Time has been on our agenda too. The material I have to work with however are lessons of available time and the right time. The G.O. & I are currently, temporarily, enjoying 2 day weekends rather than enduring his usual 6 day working week, and my challenge was to avoid the temptation of trying to cram everything into the extra days thus removing any benefits they have.
And as we do at least annually about now, we have reviewed our city to country timeline; looked at the past and peered into the mists of the future, and decided the signs tend towards extending our city time, deriving benefit from it.
But we don’t kid ourselves… Peter Buffet says Life is What you Make it. John Lennon said Life is what happens to you while you’re busy making other plans. Celi says Life has elastic sides. I can work with elastic sides.
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Celi ~ it took me many years and so many unexpected difficulties and tragedies to understand, appreciate and follow the saying ‘Go with the flow’ . . . . the difficulties if anything have become bigger but peace found has brought happiness sans pareil . . . and an ability to cope . . . I do not believe you will ever surpass this morning’s writing . . .
Bless.. I am growing up I think.. c