A D-cision

Last night, as I took a quick shot of the sunset then raced back to the house to finish all the work in there that was piling up-

I made a Decision.

It is always important to look at your objectives and then re-evaluate and make a decision. So let’s do that.

a) Have I achieved the objectives so far.?

b) Have I achieved the best I can do.?

 c) Is this the lifestyle that I want?

d) Am I Trusting the Monster?

So here is the equation using The Book as an example.

a) I wanted to get the  Letters for my Little Sister collected and bound and out to all the writers – with a few copies for all the families in my family. I wanted to make a  book to give to my Little Sister in October.  DONE

b) Have I done the best I can do. YES. Within my objective YES.  Unless I change my objective and PUSH hard to find more buyers and more readers and make this go viral. Then No.  Do I want that? Actually I don’t care.  I am a small group person. You are my small group. I am happy with us all having a book each. (However that is not to say that someone else may want to step up and promote the book into the cosmos – that would be fine too)

c) Is the last few weeks the lifestyle I want? Not really.  It is too pressured for me. I am very, very overwhelmed.  I do not like that feeling of chasing after my life. Animals always suffer when I get overwhelmed. I would rather be farming, travelling, blogging and announcing the next book for us in The Fellowship series and writing the children’s book that has been neglected. I had more fun writing and collating. I want to  lean on a gate and watch the pigs.

I have been spending hours a day on this, money (from my trip savings), and making myself miserable trying to sell this book PAST my objective. Every single one of our first two hundred books went to someone I know with no trouble at all.  Surely that is a good thing.  I have achieved what I set out to achieve. More than that is a wonderful surprise and should not be a horrible slog.

d) Trust the Monster. When we create something worthy and wonderful and deep like this it awakens A Monster of action. I always find it hard to describe my Monster, but I have worked alongside her often.  The Monster  moves at the appropriate pace and, if set free, will begin to drive the action with her considerable weight and plodding, gentle, steely gait  The book is out. Many of you are reading it right now. It is a very good book.  Many of you will recommend it to your friends and readers, write reviews, generally do what I have been doing.  The Monster is awakening and will soon stretch her strong girly fingernails  and big feet into the arena. I need to trust you and The Monster. It is actually a little arrogant to think I have to take all this on myself. We are The Fellowship after all.  We will make sure that whoever needs a copy gets one.

So I am going to take a step back. I will not blather on about it here anymore. As the reviews build and as the readers begin to talk to each other sales will build or Not. I need to settle down and trust The Monster.  There are 100 more books arriving next week.  The postmistress will handle sales while I am away. And I have given myself back Time. Time to work, farm, write, plot and travel. Time.  Thank you for encouraging me to do so, darlings. I need to go up to the loft and find my suitcase and give myself the Time to start looking forward to my children.

I don’t want to give up talking to you in the comments lounge. I don’t want to give up reading and writing and sitting in the field with the calves. A slow trickle of sales would suit me better.  I do not want to become the Avon lady at the dinner party.

And I have hay to bale before the rain. And it is clouding over. Tima is calling to me. And Boo is in full wriggle mode waiting for me to POST and get the Hell out of the House!

Thank you all. The Monster is rumbling awake, I am going to let The Monster handle it,  let’s keep talking and sharing and see what happens next.

Much love

celi