The new and the forever

All things repeat. All things. And now Paris. Again. 

The world is a frightening  and fascinating place.  I have lived in a number of cities in the world. I have made terrible mistakes and wondrous decisions. So I am not naive. And as you know I have made a decision to move to the country, grow my own food and not to get involved in world news.  No TV, no radio and no news feed on my computer. Not to ever see a doctor again even at the hour of my death. To leave politics. To live without influence. I cannot vote in the country I live in so Politics holds no interest for me.

This works for most of the time but with Hugo (my resident Frenchman) sitting across from me thumping his computer with the palm of his hand as Paris erupts in violence, I cannot help but be drawn in. He is cursing in French at the screen.  I know little French to speak of but I understand every word. It is the scream of the young against the horror. Trying to make sense of a world of madness while sitting in a world of calm.  And  the madness is not new. Of course not.  But for him it is.

Is this why I live in this isolated place?  Where there is only cows and pigs and food and birds and me laughing and skipping about. Like an idiot. Am I terribly clever or the ostrich with her head in the sand.

I don’t know.

All I know for sure is that we are transients across the face of the earth we strut about on.  We are temporary beings. Violence and war are a given for men and animals – even in a field of cattle, or a pen of pigs or chickens – violence is the way order is established in the animal kingdom and mans kingdom. Even the crowing of the farm roosters in the morning must happen in a designated order or there will be terrible retribution.

So why do we expect better from people.  Yet I do.

We do.  We can think. We can think and plot for power. Dominance over our kitchens or our neighbours, or our animals , power over our children, power over our dogs,  power of religion, power in politics. It is impossible to escape it. We ALL think we know better than the other guy. But we also have the choice to think WITH the other guy. Listen to the other guy. Listen.

I said to a friend yesterday morning that I have won more battles with my EARS. Not by shouting or hitting or demanding that I know best. Because I do not. But by listening and waiting.  Not joining in the name calling. Listening.

We are all flawed. We are none of us perfect.

Please, Please do not judge a person by his religion or his brothers religion, or by his political beliefs or by the food she eats or even her words. Judge me by my ACTIONS. Watch what I DO not what I say. Don’t blame me for the actions of my neighbours or the path I walk.  Words are powerful but ultimately they are tissue paper.  Listen to me. Watch my face. Forgive me, then listen again.  Think about why I said what I said not WHAT I said. Then judge me when I am dead and in my coffin. Then you may judge me. Kindly I hope. But hold off until then. I may be still evolving and thinking myself. I may not have it right yet. I might still be working out how to live in this new and forever world.  Or I may have hidden from it.

Don’t punish the little people on their little wheels  for the horror caused by their big mean brothers with the big guns.

Be careful.  Please be careful. I am only a wee person. Each one of us is. Being gentle is so much harder than pulling a real or metaphorical trigger.

Love celi