We are creatures of habit.
Whenever visitors come to the farm they very quickly latch onto a space of their own. Their chair at the table, their relaxing space in the couch, a space to leave their toothbrush, a bed for sleeping. Any time we enter a foreign area we immediately try to wriggle our way in, naming a corner as our own, whether it is a seat on a plane, a piece of wall in a public area, a side of the bed. 
Who do you know who sleeps on a different side of the bed whenever they feel like it. Or loses their pillow. Or sits in a different chair at dinner time each night. Or does not care which cup holds their coffee.
This need in us to build systems and habits and familiar spaces is as old as the world and truly common for all peoples everywhere. Even nomads have their favourite camel. And shoppers their favourite door. And drivers their favourite way through town. 
It is the same for cows. They love things to be predictable.
Yesterday I turned the electric fence off at the West side so I could use the weed eater to clear all the long grass from beneath the wire. Then I went back up to the house without turning the current back on.
When my sister and I walked, in the dark after dinner, around to the West side to check the cows we found both the new cows in a field where they should not have been – peering sadly at me through the wires – and all the animals who had lived here a while and developed their systems and habits around the hot wire and knew where their chair for sitting on was, were still where I left them. 
So I wonder whether we – you and I – are still working behind our own electric fences, though they have long since been turned off and we are just not brave enough to try to get through. We have forgotton what it is like to be new. We are sitting in the chairs we have claimed, nice and safe. Not allowing the change. 
What do you think?
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
51 responses to “A chair of my own”
I like a seat of my own. I can surround it with the things that occupy my hands and mind when I am sitting, without the trouble of having to shift everything every time. My side of the bed is comfortably-me shaped now, and my pillows know what is expected of them. I am comforted by a few boundaries – I am no longer one who enjoys flying off in all sorts of directions in an excited way. I have become painful and slow, and routine helps manage that. But sometimes, a change, a fresh wind through the cobwebs, can shine a light on a better way.
I think we look to find somewhere where we are allowed to sit, when not at home 😉
Good point Mad Dog. I have my favourite chair/s and coffee cup. We don’t dare leave the electric fence off here, more to keep others out than in. Love the farmy pics at night, looks enticing. Laura
Good question! I too often find myself sitting in the same chair drinking coffee from the same cup and wandering round the same paddock day in and day out. It’s not a particularily comfortable feeling at times but I sometimes find it hard to change chairs! One day soon I would love to start a game of musical chairs … One day …
I think anything really comfortable can get very easy to lean on and maybe we do not get out of our grooves often enough. But on the other hand, my favorite coffee cup and my favorite seat in the house makes me very content, very happy to have what I have. And whenever I am at home and do not have to rush off the farm, I am so appreciative of that! But I am not afraid of jumping into something new when the opportunity arises. I can just imagine those sweet cow faces looking at you from the wrong side of the wires!
I feel the most uncomfortable in someone else’s slippers. It’s just too weird to fit them in.
The older I get the less I want to stir far from the comfort and security of my own armchair. Animals need security and habit too.
This is how I feel, too.
Me too. Content to be not yearning for distant lands or new adventures as always in the past. I am happy to anticipate the butterfly weed in bloom & sunflowers to come & later the goldenrod & asters. My old dog & I keep an eye out for each other & don’t wander far apart.
I like my chair, I am sitting on it now. But, I agree that sometimes we need a change. While I will keep using my chair, I will try to ignore its calling to me, to take a seat and do something more active instead. Yesterday, I mowed the lawn and found that it’s more fun to now 3 acres with music on. I put my headphones on and happily kept mowing, belting out my favorite tunes. Kept the headphones on while doing my farm chores and got even more done! Out of the chair, it is more fun!
There’s a classic story about an elephant who had been kept on a short chain for his entire life. All he could do was pace in a small circle. Once he was rescued from the chain, he kept pacing in that same small circle, even though he could have gone much farther. I feel like that elephant sometimes! I have my favorite chair to read and knit in and if I come home and find my husband in it…well, it isn’t pretty.
Well . . . as I sit here in MY spot of our comfy sofa, sipping my morning cup of tea, which it to my right, with my laptop employed on my, well – on my ample lap, I find I am a truly a creature of comfort in my routine. On-the-other-hand, all the trees of the next door lot, about 2 acres worth, have been plowed down. There is now a big hole in the earth and soon a great big house with an underground pool will be there and I will be forced to change a few of my routines – or at least put some curtains on the windows. 🙂 The resident herd of deer are very confused, but, I noticed they have a few newly trampled paths they have forged.
I think it’s good to feel a sense of belonging and to seek out a place to belong, through spaces and habits. But you raise an important point. We can be lulled by comfort and forget how to look at the world through new eyes and to try new things. Sometimes simply switching your spot at the dinner table can reveal a different perspective.
I find that I am growing less likely to follow habits. I change chairs all the time. Vary my routes home. Take my cappuccini in different bars, trying new ones. Changing the languages I prefer to read in. I wonder what it means.
There are certain things that I claim as “my own”, but I cannot say I am afraid of trying new things 🙂 right now we are actually on a journey to start our mini farm too. I’ve been around many animals, but I’ve only taken care of chickens so far (and dogs and cats), so this will be very interesting to go through and more things to call my own
That is the most excellent question and thought I have heard in ages! Where have we turned the electric fence on and where should we turn it off? Where are our boundaries choking our potential? All of that from looking at cows! As a lifelong nomad, the few familiar things I have that go with me from place to place help with the grounding and a feeling of familiarity. This is a question I shall ruminate on for quite awhile. Thank you. Have a lovely day and a wonderful visit with your sister.
That is so true. And what I’ve recently been noticing is that when I step outside the habit, my spirits lift a bit.
My desk got changed at work. And while I’m still not quite used to a working routine in this new desk, it’s rather miraculous how much more cheerful I am. And I think it’s because I have to be more alert, more aware, because things are different. Even something as simple as grabbing a pen is different. When everything is the same, my auto-pilot kicks in. And it is very easy to be lethargic and dip into the worse parts of my depression.
It is hard to break a routine, but it is refreshing.