Good morning. I have just come back inside from shifting Sheila by torchlight back to her new field, why you ask, because yesterday my whole plan fell into piggie chaos.
It all started with Sheila coming into heat, which she does on occassion and she was chasing her calves round and round the field, so I locked the kunekune outside (it was a nice day) and put Sheila into the sunroom, which she immediately wrecked then lay down to sleep it off. 
I had been in the middle of shifting the middle sized pigs into their new outdoor quarters when I went to save the calves -the tin hut was in place and I had decided to shift them permanently into the new vegetable garden area they are in and out of here all the time so I felt confident. 
Hearing the noise of Sheila smashing stuff as she chased her calves around. I quickly shut their gate and went to her aid. Five minutes later I looked up and there were two middle sized pigs in the wrong place, two were dashing between the trucks in the drive, two dogs in hot pursuit.
I shut Sheila’s door, called them in (which took a while) and then saw the other middle sized pigs had got out the other side and were communing through the back fence with the little pigs and to my horror the little pigs were going under their fence like a running stream. The two pigs I had brought back joined them and off they ran into the big fields. Merciful heaven.
Before I knew it I had middle sized pigs and little pigs all mixed up in a marauding pack bleeding through more of the cows fences and taking over the concrete pad, splitting into packs, running in all directions and having the time of their lives dashing in and out from between the hooves of the aghast cows.
Herding pigs is like herding cats. It does not work. And of course it was morning and everyone was well fed. First I shifted the cows then tried to work out what to do with eleven excited pigs in full gallop.
No-one was taking any notice of me.
It took a long long time and a lot of opportunist drafting to get the little pigs sorted out from the middle sized pigs and back into the barn. To get them through the barn I had to move Sheila back out of the front pen and into the abandoned vegetable garden field out of the way.
Once through, the little ones took over the whole barn as I shut the big door to their now compromised back yard.
The middle size pigs had been left to roam the farm while I gathered the little ones and by early afternoon I had got all four middle sized pigs into the back field where the root cellar is but they would not go through the last gate so we stopped there. The fence was not set up yet so it was not turned on but they did not know that yet and would not go through the gate behind it. By evening I just had to leave them to it and hope they would remember where their bed was, find the gate open and settle down in there.
I was just glad to have them all in one place with a big gate shut.
The moment you change things on a farm there is a time of chaos while you hold your breath hoping they will not push the smoke and mirrors boundaries. This chaos was more chaotic than normal!
In the middle of all this Alex had been shifted from the West barn as arranged. So once I got the little pigs back into the barn she was released from the trailer.
It did not take her long to find the food.
Late last night I went out to check that everyone was still where they should be and discovered that Sheila (who had been in the vegetable garden field) had found the hole that the middle sized ones had made (and that I had completely forgotton about). She had escaped (very slowly I am sure) and had gone back up to the barn, made herself a nice big bed by the little pigs and was fast asleep in the corner of the barn.
So I just shut the big doors and left her there for the night. And this is why an hour ago I was out in the early dawn with my jacket over my nightie and bringing her down the drive and back into the field, with the hole blocked up once again. She was reluctant to move, having planned a big breakfast for herself from the feed bins, I imagine. But that was not going to happen.
So now I will get my coat back on and get going and check to see how the others are. Alex is being very vocal – I am not even sure where they all ended up.
Now, I need to buy another solar panel for the Rat House Paddock. They take three days to charge up so who knows what will happen in the meantime. But I am not going to try and shift the middle sized pigs back, it took them the entire day to get where they are now!
Merciful heavens.
I hope you have lovely day.
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
89 responses to “Chaotic pig day”
Hilarious for us and the pigs, but probably not so for you 🙂
There was a point when I thought that I might never untangle them all .. c
I bet they were having a great time 🙂
Best laugh I’ve had in a while, but sorry you had to go through that!
All in a days work as they say.. c
Still glad you came back?
Lunch in Milan sounds pretty nice right at the moment!
I’m sure this was not fun for you, but you gave me a good laugh. What chaos! I don’t know how you keep track of them all.
Nor do I frankly and it will get worse before it gets better! c
This post garnered 2 “Merciful heavens.” That’s a new level of exasperation. Let’s hope you never need to use 3 to describe your day. 🙂
Merciful heaven! Ha ha ha
What a hectic day!
Yes, it was a bit of a muddle there for a while.. c
I’m guessing you were thinking long and hard about the value of keeping pigs at the end of that.
I’m glad they are back, more or less in their proper order.
Raising chickens is looking better and better every day! c
Oh no, most chickens are too stupid, by half!
Truly enjoyed watching as your words played in my head: )
Such a Welcome Home; )
Love the title!
smiles
When I got to the end of this story, I was laughing and shaking my head. The image of the fellow that is twirling plates on sticks with that frantic tune playing in the background came to mind. Don’t know the name of the song. Does anyone know? I hope today is a bit calmer.
Yes! I think it is the Sabre Dance by Aram Khachaturian. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gqg3l3r_DRI
Yes! That is it. Thank you for sharing that!
You guys are clever! c
I’m exhausted! I still love Sheila though! 🙂
I always forget how enormous she is .. she really is a big pig
Oh, what a wonderful post. Really bringing forth great laughter; just so sorry it’s at your expense. Yes, too bad TonTon was not of any help because that should really be his job, no? I loved Chicago John’s comment as it was similar to mine. The ‘Merciful heavens’ topped off the story in such a fine way…. hehehe (still laughing here, sorry). Ahhh, hope your day is a little more settled. ~ Mame 🙂
Yes – it my favourite saying.. c
Sounds like you had a pig of a day. 🙂 Like the Keystone Cops antics. Good thing you are well charge up from your trip. Seems they are expressing their displeasure at you being gone and decided to give you a run for your money with their antics. Hope things settle down for you soon.
Keystone Cops always makes me think of the ladder skit.. so funny
all you need now is a circus tent! Have a better day today!
I would not mind!! a circus tent.. c
Maybe we all have to pitch in and get you a helmet-cam so we can truly have a Celi’s-eye view of such goings-on…but then, you’ve always had such a knack for telling the tales so richly we get the picture plenty vividly anyhow. Whew! I almost need a nap just from reading about it all. Ridiculous, endearingly maddening beasts, your piggies!!
xoxo,
Kath
I have often thought of a camera in the barn though – if it faced out the door you would have seen me jogging to and fro.. would have been funny
Your imagery in reply just put another tangential one into my head, remembering a film my Jr. High English teacher showed on a pre-holiday break to try to explain his view of wrestling (the old-fashioned, actual Sport kind, not the “Professional” wrestle-tainment of today) as pure poetry. It was a montage of wrestling film, all amateurs but mostly very skillful ones, accompanied only by Strauss waltzes, and yes, it was quite balletic. Perhaps we need a cinematographer and soundtrack artist to follow you around for a week or so and we’ll have quite the masterpiece of improvisational farm dancing artistry. Thanks for a superb mental picture on which to take myself off to bed tonight!!
xoxo
Piggies everywhere!! Could be testing you for going away! Or just feeling a bit of spring in the air! Probably just being piggies. (Love, love Sheila)
I think it is the warm weather – makes us all want to be out in the sun.. c