HOW DO YOU THINK

Sometimes when I am reading a book I try to make myself slow down by insisting to myself to read every word out loud in my head.

I used to encourage my students to do this in exams. Read every word out loud in your head – you will understand it better. Or pinch your hand a tiny bit as a learned instruction to your brain to focus and breathe and read each word.

I was thinking to myself the other day that I did not need another slice of freshly baked bread slathered with butter and local honey. I had already eaten a whole slice with lots of butter with my hot cup of gumboot tea so I certainly did not need another slice – anyway you slice too thick my out-loud on the in-side voice said. So, I used the outloud on the inside voice and told myself, no. I put away the knife, rewrapped the bread in its sweet cotton bread bag, put the top on the honey, shelved the butter in the fridge and left the kitchen.

And it struck me that if I think my thoughts in my outloud on the inside voice – particularly with drama class articulation- I do tend to listen more and make better decisions.

But, like reading, I seldom think in coherent hearable thoughts. Plus I seldom pause and call up this clear inner voice. Usually it is as I imagine space would be – just a wild collection of neuronic, no not neurotic, neuronic sparks and reactions, deep quiet, dark space and bright star lights in the distance.

If I am looking for my farm knife ( and I am always looking for my farm knife) I seldom think with my inner voice – there are no key words- I just wander about forgetting what I was looking for – keeping myself busy until I remember what I was looking for or even remember I was looking at all and it is more a flash of orange in my head ( the farm knife is orange) rather than an actual useable thought. And when I find it I add the knife to my pocket and head for my boots. I only think about the boots if I can’t find them then we go through the whole space like process again. Though, just to be clear, I seldom lose my boots! Neuronic. The thought seldom hits an alphabetic neuron.

I imagine that if I tried to force my brain to think in words poor brain would get tired fast? Do you think? There is so much black unchartered space to cover. I think this is why I love making bread as opposed to making mathematical tables. Bread has no words it is all touch. Also why I love to write – the words are easily retrievable when I write. I do form words as I write.

So, how do you think? Are you linear? Do you make mental lists. Do you think out loud in your head? Do you have a running dialogue in your head? When you think about what you are going to do today is it in words or pictures or reactions or are you neuronic too? We must all organize our thoughts differently which is perfect – after all diversity is healthy.

Do you remember the standing on one leg theory. That we can create an action that forces coherent thought. Stand on one leg, get your balance, breathe, focus. For me this forces me to stop and read my mind out loud in my inner voice and things are usually much clearer when I do that. Just like reading every word on the page. So much better.

I have no other pictures. So here is WaiWai making his bed.

I went around all the pigs houses yesterday afternoon to add more straw and WaiWai was so excited he got straight to work pushing the straw into a high mound. Later when I came to cover him with his blankets he had totally disappeared into his straw. Deep into the mound he had created in his own little way. I spread the blankets on top of the mountain of straw. He loves to be covered up. All my other grown pigs sleep on top of their straw. Wai gets right in.

Sheila has spent a lot of time carrying straw into her house a mouthful at a time. I did not need to add any to her house- I just pushed more straw closer to the door. She does her own housekeeping.

We all love our beds.

Time to bake this mornings bread! It is 100% calumet – whole kernel Glenn. I am giving myself an extra hour before going to work today because I am also making croissants! For the first time. They will be baked tomorrow so I will let you know! I do the laminating stage today. Lots to learn.

Pete the Baker – are you reading this morning? Got any tips? I know you make the best croissants!

Love celi

PS you can buy my organic cotton holiday bread bags on the janiesmill website. ( our new site is almost finished but not quite). I have created holiday flour gift bundles. They are up already but will be prettier on the new site. Remember to write F after your name on the order form so I can pop your Fellowship gift in with your flours!.