It is Saturday morning – after another fraught week.
A huge hawk came onto the farm while I was at work on Tuesday and killed Mrs Flowers. I saw the hawk when I was driving up the drive from work. The birds were frantic, wild birds flitting from tree to tree hiding under the canopy as the hawk perched high on the barn.
It was huge. The size of my torso. It hurled itself down from the barn as I walked to the house- I felt it as it swooped above the trees, I instinctively ducked amidst a cacophony of wings and warning calls as the birds dived for cover. The Guineas were screaming up at it and everything but the ducks had gone into hiding. I immediately turned and went to the area that Mrs Flowers has been freely raising her last chick and all that remained was a great pile of feathers. When a bird is attacked like that they will jettison their feathers on an attempt to loosen the hold of the predator. But she was gone.
I retrieved BooBoo and we very slowly tracked the baby and found her in a low bush. Crying with terror and loss. The cats were still locked in the basement so we followed the little bird until I could scoop her up. Boo is an amazing asset in times like this. He seems to know instinctively who I am looking for and whether it is friend or foe.
The chick lived for few days in a large enclosure with a rescue rabbit and another chick. Mr Flowers lay beside the pen, attracted by her plaintive calls I suppose. But at this moment she is dying. She has pined away. She does not want to live without her Mum.
Isn’t that sad. Poor wee soul. Another reason why I hesitate to write is these things. The sadness of losing even a bird weighs heavy on me and I hate to tell you and you will be sad too. I try to search for the lesson that goes with the saga of the pea chick but I can’t find it yet. Fighting nature does not work. Maybe that is it.
The fields are drying up – interesting that our organic fields have instantly burst into green growth of all kinds whereas the chemical laden fields across the road that was drowned in the same flood are still totally black. Not one living plant is coming back. Only the GM crop was allowed on that field and that is dead so now there is nothing.
John will be home in a couple of days having missed this entire episode. He has been gone a few weeks. He will take over the place again so I don’t have to do chores after a 12 hour day. I have a new sump pump for him to install too. And hopefully he can fix the washing machine that quit during the flood. Then I can scuttle back into my corner and get on with flour and bread and pasta and supermarkets! Teaching people how to bake. And food. I have had no time for food. Lucky for me the courgette plants on the porch have offered me a courgette a day!
This weekend, now there is no reason to lock up the cats or fret about birds, and the calves are settled in this field….
I am going to cook.
I have developed a loose formula for my pasta. One egg per hundred grams of flour. (Not that big egg (above) though – double-yolkers are not in my equation). The water is harder to quantify – I always need a little extra water to get the dough just right but it is always a different amount because no egg is the same! I will work on that this weekend.
Soon we will be selling semolina and that will be a different equation! Semolina seems to need more fluid.
I also have two new flours to test bake. We are bringing in a new High Protein wheat while we wait for the Glenn to be ready to harvest. So I am going to put it through its paces.
There is rain in the forecast and it is very cool – low 70’s.
I hope you have a lovely day and I also hope to be back in your inbox tomorrow with a more positive attitude. Baking always cheers me up.
Talk soon.
Love miss c
PS you can find our flours at janiesmill.com. Use the discount code SPREADTHEWORD47. A little gift from me.Thank you!
The Kitchen's Garden 
49 responses to “Living with Nature”
“Practicing Acceptance.” This is a lovely way at looking at grief. And “For all the happiness in between.” Two wonderful take aways among other thoughts today. Death on the farm is the hardest to accept. So hard that I find myself trying not to get close to some of the animals so that I won’t be as hurt when they pass. Not sure if not ‘fully investing’ is a good way, as now I’m thinking that I may be cutting back on ‘all the happiness in between’ as equuslover2 shared.
Love once given can never be taken away. I still have all the love from those who are no longer here in the physical world. The passings are always sad but if you’ve loved and been loved they hurt less. I know Mrs. Flowers and her chick loved you and each other as much as they could and that all belongs to you. I’ve had a lot of loss in my life but also much love and as I’ve gotten older realized that the love outweighs the loss by incredible amounts. That does not discount or diminish the pain or sorrow of loss, it does help ease it. Learning the acceptance is necessary and the beautiful things and love in between are part of the gift. It just makes everyone still with you more precious.
What sad news about Mrs Flowers. Sometimes the law of nature seems just too cruel. Beaming you love on the fresh winds of Aotearoa.
I can’t really add any wisdom to what has already been said. My thoughts are with you. Sad times…but there will be glad times again.
I am so sorry about Mrs. Flowers and her baby. Now isn’t a time to think of lessons, it’s just a time to grieve. You have permission. It hurts when something we have raised and loved is so suddenly gone.
Pania would have been a good sixteen years old. She was mature when I bought her. So sad she has gone and now her chick too.
Bloody bugger. I’ve said it more than once… nature and life being what they are, will say it again before it’s all said and done. Take care ♡
I’m so sorry for the loss of Mrs. Flower and her chick.
I wonder if that might’ve been an eagle, we have a pair of bald eagles here, living somewhere along the river. Haven’t lost anybody to them so far. At least, unlike humanity, nature is random and not innately cruel. I do like the idea of practicing acceptance, hard as that is to accomplish.
Very sad. But you’ve been teaching us gently for years that Death is a constant theme on a farm as well as brilliant life. Hand in hand. Memento mori.
Oh, Miss C, hard to Like a post when it brings news of the loss of another creature friend. Your heart is wide and welcoming, there is space for an infinite number of creatures and people, but the problem with loving is that it hurts when the ones you love die or leave. Thank you for giving the chickie a peaceful and comfortable end, if it is indeed the end. Maybe she’ll surprise you, maybe not. That’s nature.
Nature is brutal. The strongest win out and we mourn lost fragile beauty 😔😔 poor Mrs Flowers and Baby Flowers 💐 💐
Baby Flowers. Yes.
Good Day, sweet lady. I am wishing you happiness in your farming animals. It is so sad to see them go but ponder on the beautiful memories that they brought into your life, to help you smile. I follow your blog and would like for you to follow me at https://wisdomforpennies.com if you will. And I will share your blog all over with my cooking groups and Facebook. I have 1 follower on Word Press and would like to grow my number like I do on Facebook and many cooking groups that I am in. Thank you, and I wish you happiness and joy from this day forward. Connie
I am wishing good times that are coming along for you!