Sell me Your Dreams.

If I am allowed to wake naturally, I wake at dawn. No matter when the dawn is. Always a dream is with me. Like a mist. A diaphanous fabric of colour and movement and air and dreams.

Do you wake up like that?

I rise fast and often write down as much as I can of the dream. If I forget to write them down they are lost.

Don’t worry I will not tell you my dreams. They are often colourful and layered with detail and there is nothing more boring than listening to another’s dreams. Or is there?

Two orange cats, one looking away from the camera one half out of the image with its rear end  against the other cat tail in the air.

I feed the cats . Feed the dogs. Make my first coffee – all with images of the dream trailing behind me like echoes. Like footsteps. Half there and half here. Sometimes mostly there – even for the whole day. Dreamy.

Then through the morning, as I link one thought to the next the images are gone. They just slide off into the ether and unless I have imprinted a thread of imagery onto paper the whole dream is gone. And I always feel that loss – there is a wave of sadness that accompanies the the leave-taking of a dream.

Sometimes I mourn all day. Sometimes I am angry with someone who did something mean in my dream – I can be angry with them for weeks. Even though I cannot remember the dreamt slight.

Is it the same for you?

I have often thought of having a private blog just for dreams. To document them. Invitation only – where we could all share our dreams and see if there is a common theme. I did have a dream book once. God knows where that is now.

Years ago I read a book about a person who bought dreams – or rather a woman who sold her dreams for a few coins to buy food. Regularly. And then the dream buyer left or had enough dreams or something. So the woman was left with her dreams. Or was that a dream? No I am sure it was a book or short story.

I might start a dream book again – a dream book needs to be literally beside the bed with the pencil on top. So I can write the images down immediately. Though when a person writes a dream out it is no longer a dream – it is a story.

Interior of old barn with big white cow looking out of the door. We are looking across the cow and out into the trees.

My best friend Donna ( the one who died – the tree I planted for her is blooming now which makes me think of her), she and I used to try and find each other in our dreams then compare notes ( over the old fashioned phone that you would talk into) the next morning as to where we were. I don’t think we ever did though – find each other in a dream – too long ago to remember – maybe?

Do you dream? Would you sell your dreams? How would it feel to sell your night dreams to a Buyer of Dreams.

two orange cats sitting on verandah table with spring growth on trees behind.

John says he never dreams which makes me feel sorry for him. Not to have this alternate universe to visit. Not to look froward to sleeping because that is when we get to step over.

Last night (I dreamt), (after having told you I would not bore you with my dreams) that I was having dinner with my daughter (who lives in Australia) I could describe for you every detail of the room and all the food – the plates. The table setting. What we were wearing. The heat. The open doors. The lighting. The night. The night sounds. She told me she had eloped and got married to a man who I hate. But I could say nothing. Because we are all allowed to make our own decisions. A mother cannot judge. She is caught into silence by this knowledge.

When I was young I could direct my dreams – I called it rethreading the needle – If I ran out of thread before I had finished the stitching I directed my dream self to go back and thread the needle with more cotton and start the dream again.

Now it is time for me to leave you – I will dreamily go and make my breakfast, then load dry straw into the Black Mariah so the calves have a comfy warm trip back here. It is cold again today. It was freezing at dawn – lucky that I brought the tomatoes back inside for the night.

A Dream Blog could be fun. I would call it Sell me your Dreams. (Maybe next winter).

Have a great day!


85 Comments on “Sell me Your Dreams.

  1. I often dream about food, but when I go to put it in my mouth, I wake up! Sometimes I dream about not being able to find a roll of film for my camera (obviously related to some kind of anxiety) and if I try to read in a dream, the words make no sense. If I’m driving, it’s hard to steer the car or motorbike properly and very hard to apply the brakes, even when going slowly!

  2. A dream blog would be fun. Not sure anyone would buy my dreams, although I love most of them. I often dream about my daughter too. Perhaps when they live far away we dream about them more often. My dad used to say when he tucked us in at night, “See you n my dreams.” I always liked that.

  3. What a wonderful post! I dream a lot, mostly pleasant dreams. Some dreams I remember, others I lose upon awakening. I try to get my dream images to words on paper but can’t always capture them. And some dreams are bad and best forgotten quickly I hope. As a child, I was often told to snap out of my daydreaming and pay attention. Love to get lost in thoughts, my own personal meditation.

  4. Do some of your dreams come true though? And why only certain dreams but not every one? Or do they but we have forgotten them when it happens? Are you frustrated when a dream is interrupted and you want to know how it end? Do you have a recurring dream?

    • My dreams don’t come true, usually they are in lands that cannot even exist! (laughter) – if something comes true I see it in the daylight. What about you Bobbie Jean – do you have recurring dreams?

      • Yes, I have recurring dreams, and thought everyone did until I read this post. LOL. I often wake laughing and talking, crying, and even gesticulating. I thought everyone dreamed in color too, until I read about black and white dreamers.

        All of my life I’ve wanted a farm. You cured me of that. It’s a non-stop life of work, and toil and . . . Is it a daily grind at times? My grands were farmers and I grew up believing it to be the best way to live. I wonder how you get it all done. I admire you more than I can say.

        • Oh it is not a grind at all. I have plenty of time to write! Plus I get to feed people.I think many people have recurring dreams. Not me though. Unless you count being late for a plane.

      • I read that some of our “issues” are worked out in our subconscious and the answers are often revealed in dreams. We humans are really something else all together, aren’t we? We come with our own inner shrink. 🙂 I say, “Dream on!”

  5. I used to have flying dreams when I was younger but haven’t had them for decades. It seems now I have the weirdest dreams with snippets from different countries and experiences from when I backpacked and lived different places in this big wide world. I always try to hang on to these traveling dreams, as with our small farm I don’t get to do much of that anymore, but the dreams slip away so quickly.

    • Right?! It is as though they are left on the pillow as we rise up. Any movement can dissipate a dream. When you dream of the places you visited are you the same person as when you were there or are you older (not saying you are old now! But you know what I mean?).

      • It seems as though I’m the same person as I was back then, but others in the dream are older, or weren’t even in my life while I was traveling. It’s so strange.., my mom makes her way in (and I always love that) and my hubby sometimes. It’s really quite fascinating!

  6. I am not interested in night dreams — mine, or anyone else’s. A dream has to feature someone I know for it to hold any interest for me. Only when I am truly obsessed with a relationship will I write dreams down, and I can’t see that it ever got me anywhere. My ex-partner had vivid, baroque dreams, often featuring music.

  7. The times I get up vary according to what shift the Husband is on, but the routine is the same. Let out the chooks and feed them, collect any eggs. Feed doggo. Put the coffee on. After that it changes. With dreams… I always dream but never remember them, but what I DO remember is giving things a ‘push’ sometimes in my dream to get a conclusion or direct things. That only happens just before I wake up, so I don’t get long to push my dream into shape, but there’s a strong sense of satisfaction at getting the conclusion I wanted when I do wake up! As for selling the dreams; who’d pay for nonsense I can’t even remember?

  8. Oh my gosh- your dreams are so detailed. I remember bits when I am just waking up, but then POOF! It is all gone! Have a dreamy day!

  9. The concept of “sell me your dreams” is wonderful! I dream often; my daughter almost never. And yes, I feel bad for her. I can tell myself in a dream that I’m just dreaming and to not be scared. I’ll redirect my dream- literally say (as I sleep) “let’s go back a bit and turn right instead of left” or some such thing. I’ll “rewind” my dream a bit and change it. As a result I almost never have bad dreams.

  10. I’ve had nightmares since childhood during the war which I can still see in images as in newsreels, Nazis in helmets, guns blazers with planes dropping whining bombs, buildings on fire blazing colors ( which the newsreels were not). We played in the viney woods in our Pioneer state park that we called the ” ‘Jap'(anese) sniper woods” & our little band of neighborhood kids took turns popping out from behind trees, making horrible faces, yelling & thrusting long stick “bayonets” at the ones who played the GIs on the trails. We also played a lot of “pioneers & Indians” there too taking turns being Daniel Boone & George Rogers Clark & Shawnees with hatchets to scalp their pioneer enemies. All of these bad guys villains appeared often during my nightmares which woke me up screaming. In adulthood I’ve been caught fallen overboard under boats, drowning in dark green water under large boats, (always have dreamed in colors). I’ve seen hands holding knives coming through doors they’re opening a crack that I’ve forgotten to lock, or giant bugs attacking me & me screaming at a watching, laughing someone to help me…. I have never watched horror movies or read Stephen King et al. I don’t want their gory terrors on my mind which will visit me again in dreams. I’ve always awakened myself yelling or trying to & can’t & been so relieved to find out it was just a nightmare. I’ve never been psyched out by a professional for this curious problem. Mama used to tell me she’d had them all her life too. So, genetic? Family trait? My ex husband & friends have told me I had too vivid an imagination. Perhaps like Ebenezer Scrooge, I’ve had too many underdone potatoes for too late suppers, though I rule that out. Any thoughts? Anyone else suffer from nightmares?

    • I don’t have as many nightmares as I used to have. When I was a kid and teenager I had a lot. At this point in my life I seem to have more unsettling dreams during times of stress (makes sense), and just weird dreams regularly. Many have versions of people I know or have known, and I do dream in color (I only remember one black and white dream, after my dad died when I was 20 – it was pretty awful). I have recurring dreams as well. I don’t always manage to remember enough of the dream to write it down, but many of my dreams stay with me into the day, some in a positive way, and some hanging around me like a fog. I think people who say they don’t dream really do, but probably not as close to their waking sleep cycle as those of us who realize they are dreaming. Very interesting hearing about people’s dream life!

      • And very interesting to hear about yours too. Especially dreaming without colour after your father died. How awful to have so many nightmares. I have only ever had one and I remember it vividly. Still. So, you do write down as many as you can?

        • No, I don’t usually write them down. I try, but I don’t always catch them fast enough! Some of them are just general anxiety dreams – like dreaming I am walking in to work and find that I am the only one with no clothes on! I have heard that’s a very common dream, so I don’t feel so bad about it. It’s interesting what the brain can dredge up and put together!

    • I never do suffer from nightmares – very seldom. This sounds awful. Like you I always read before sleep and never anything gory or frightening. Gosh. This just sounds horrible how did you sleep last night? After writing that down for us?

      • I slept like an old log last night till the sunlight popped up over the mtn. & in through my window at 8 a.m. & no dreams or nightmares at all that I could remember this morning. I watched straight PBS Sunday night programming till midnight with “Marie Antoinette”, the new series from French tv, as the last show. There were no monsters (except his “monstrous family” the Bourbons, for whom ‘Toinette the Queen told King Louis she forgave him.) This show is about the young king & queen’s lives at court at Versailles years before the guillotine & The Terror. Just good entertainment. And their royal highnesses did not reappear to haunt me in a dream.

    • I had a terrible nightmare about 18 yrs. ago when I was living/working as a RN in St. Louis, Barnes Jewish Hospital…I dreamed I was walking home after my night shift on a quiet street and suddenly a person came up to me with a gun and shot me in my chest….I remember looking at the wound and knowing I would soon die…I said to the person who shot me “please tell my daughter I love her so much”…..then I woke up. It was horrible…I can’t seem to forget that dream as I remember it well today many years later. That’s the only time I’ve ever had a nightmare type dream. I hope I never have those again.

        • Thankfully I have never had any mofre nightmares like that! I think living/working in the city gave me anxiety I didn’t realize that I had. I’m so happy I no longer live there!!

      • I’m so glad for you that was your only horrible dream & I hope you’ll never have another.

  11. Most folks can share their words/dreams and it’s just fine. I, on the other hand, have had my personal privacy so violated that anything that I write is apt to be twisted and turned to suit the (trolling) pseudo-narrator’s interpretation… (no fun!)

  12. Thank you for your kindness and inspiration in the years that I have followed your blog, Celi. I love the reading. I hope that you also enjoy the rest of your Sunday!

      • Ahh… yes, a good kind of tired!! Sweet dreams, you are still inspiring me as I care for my great-grandson this morning while his Mama begins her new job… he is sleeping peacefully. Happy Monday!

  13. Hi Cecilia……A little late to the party today. I don’t dream often, but when I do they are so “friggin” weird. Sometimes I try to figure them out by telling them to my sweet soul mate…but all he does is stare at me and comment “that is so friggin weird”. haha
    Sweet day to you,

  14. What a lovely, reflective post today! I hardly remember my dreams at all- only a few meager images remain when I wake up and then within minutes they are gone. I have vague ideas that they seem to be a jumble of situations and people from my past, my history. Often no one in the dream would have ever been together in real life yet they show up together in the dream. I don’t ever dream about my family in any way unlike you C. I think studying dreams and their possible meaning would be fascinating.

  15. I’ve been keeping a dream tracker in which I write down any dream I can remember. During the month of March, all of my dreams were pleasant. During April, they have been bad or weird dreams. One night in April I dreamed three separate and distinct dreams, but all three were unpleasant. I’m not sure what good it does to track my dreams, but it is interesting.

  16. I love dreams. Mine… anyone’s. According to my blog stats my most popular post still is about a dream I had “If you dream of a ginger cat, love is in your heart” written well over a decade ago. In the last week or so I’ve been having long annoyingly rambly dreams with only the odd moment of clarity. Even when I rouse myself from them they return and continue when I go back to sleep. Most dreams fade but message dreams stay with me for as long as necessary but sometimes the lesson becomes an indelible memory. Amongst the recent dreams an incongruent detail has stayed with me, and its relevance may become clear I think in coming days.
    I’m glad your trip to Australia is coming up soon.

    • Yes!! Australia at the end of July. This whole trip got shorter due to farm stuff but if my new business venture takes off maybe I can travel and work at the same time!

  17. I was trained to look closely at people’s dreams for they often reveal great insights and guidance to life. A dream journal is an excellent idea, for psyche tunes in to revealing what you need to learn.

  18. Funny thing, for weeks after I lost John I dreamt of trying to find something, usually my car. I would get more and more anxious, absolutely couldn’t find it, never found it before I woke. Finally figured out it was John I was searching for. Once I figured that out the dreams stopped. Now I often have the strangest, screwiest dreams, people I haven’t seen or thought of for years, chopped up scenarios. I usually wake thinking ‘where the heck did that come from?’.

    • The dreams after your John died sound so sad, but perfectly in place really and interesting that they stopped after you realized what/who you were looking for.

  19. I either only have mostly bad dreams or they are the only ones I remember when I wake up or they wake me up. I think it’s odd I never dream of sheep. I don’t dream about any animals except for two dreams I’ve had about a bear. One was horribly scary and I still remember bits of it. They other I don’t remember anything about other than it was a bear, which I think is probably significant in some way. Maybe my spirit animal?

    • A bear. Wow. As a spirit animal that would be pretty awesome do you think? I would have thought there would always be a sheep in your dreams! When I was a young woman I was always carrying a baby on my hip. No matter the dream.

  20. Dreams are so interesting. My therapist thought we did “work” in dreams so I have a habit of remembering them. I have what I call anxiety dreams that reoccur about trying to do my job ( Massage Therapist for 30 years) and I don’t have my table , or there are gobs of people without appointments or I forget where I need to go …..crazy stuff that never ever happened. I do love dreaming because mostly they are fascinating . I also have dreams like you do C and wake up disgruntled with someone and have to shake it off all day.
    Great thread today !

    • I can really identify with your comment. I worked as a RN for 40 yrs. …..I very often dream of being at work and suddenly my shift is over and I realize I didn’t pass any meds to any of my patients and did no charting on fact then I can’t find the work schedule to see if I should work the next day. Crazy, combobulated dreams…..thankfully, not too often tho now that I’m retired.

      • That anxiety that bleeds into our dreams. And your job was so high pressure too. It must have taken weeks maybe months for your brain to come down from that.

        • True. I’ve been retired now for 17 yrs. and I still have that same dream now and then. But now I just ignore it as “a piece of my past life” never to be repeated.

  21. My favorite dreams are when my now adult children visit me in my dreams as they were as young children. I wake so happy to have had a visit from how sweet they were. I loved their childhood and raising them. There are always visitations from my spare children too as I call them. Ones I took care of and were a second mom to them. These dreams are always such a blessing to wake up from, utter joy in my heart.

  22. Hi Celi…I suffer from occasional insomnia (comes from being an RN working 12 hr. nights), so sometimes I don’t fall asleep until 4am…I sleep soundly then but dream vividly…the past few months I’ve had a strange thing happen in my sleep/dream….I hear my doorbell ring, always awakening me at 6am-6:30am….it wakes me up, I go to the door but no one is there…..It’s very loud in the dream and the perfect sound of my front doorbell. I live alone in a very quiet neighborhood so hard to imagine some kid doing this at 6am. Google tells me “doorbells in dreams” mean someone is trying to get my attention…..I have no idea who that “someone” might be….I just wish the dang doorbell wouldn’t ring anymore because after it does I can’t get back to sleep!

      • No, no cameras anywhere….I’ve had this “doorbell dream” quite a few times…Now, when I have it, I ignore it, roll over and try to go back to sleep. I think it’s just my “semi OCD brain ” working overtime!

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