Tima is an old KuneKune pig. Most of the year she is free to wander anywhere she wants to. But like all pigs she believes she is allowed to eat anything she finds. And this includes whole fields of wheat and all the tomatoes. So in the harvest season I set her up a camp in the wilding field to keep her out of trouble.
(Plus when the kitchen door is open she visits in the house and when I am away John finds it difficult to deal with a pig in the house ). (Which is fair).
But I am home! The fields are harvested and covered in clover and the tomatoes are on their last legs and too high for her to reach. So yesterday – I let her out of her field.
Tima was ever so grateful and gently swanned across the landscape. Wandering to and fro checking all the buckets.
Mr Flowers walked with her a ways in case she might dislodge an apple for him.
She did.
He (Mr Flowers) has this curious stance when he is standing still. See how he crosses his legs like a child waiting for the toilet. He has adapted well to his peg leg using it as the perfect crutch.
Tima and Mr Flowers walked down the back to check the acorns. All in all they had a lovely morning.
But while Tima was re- familiarising herself with the farm yard the chickens had run to Wai to tell him that she was out. The chickens are the tittle taddles.
While Tima was quietly testing every bowl and bucket for food and contemplating wandering around to the pond Wai was roaring out of his house to see her off. He has never liked Tima. They have never been friends. But they have to sleep in the same bed in the winter or freeze.
So every late summer we go through the same process. The first meeting is never a sweet-heart meeting. They chuffed and foamed at the mouth and Wai swore grumpy mean cursy swear words at Tima who responded in kind.
I raced to turn on the hose (that I had at the ready), but Wai attacked Tima, bashing their shoulders together and rearing up sideways at her shoulder trying to get a bite in- Wai has one very long tusk and would have used it. So, Boo took things into his own hands and broke them apart. Tima ducked to the left and headed into the corridor paddock at speed then picking up her heels she raced for the safety of her summer house with Wai in hot pursuit.
He (Wai) chased her, growling and chuffing, all the way to her gate, chickens squawking and flying in all directions. Tima raced through the gap in her gate and Boo headed Wai off from running in with her to continue the battle as I caught up and shut her safely back in.
This would be serious except that both these animals are geriatric piggies so the hot pursuit was more of a wobbly slow motion fiasco with (not many) teeth and lots of grumbling and pig cursing. And get thee from me Satan.
As I shut her gate Tima threw herself into her mud puddle with much eye rolling and heavy breathing and we agreed to try again tomorrow.
If Wai could have dusted off his paws and said good riddance he would have. He stalked back to his partially cleaned house, kicking a few chickens on the way and the Farmy returned back to calmness again.
I will open her gate each day and eventually Wai will get over his grumpy self. But everyone was happy when it all calmed down again yesterday.
I am going to have to concede that the late summer is drifting into a cool stage. Last night I was cold in bed. But I was comfortable and almost asleep – you know, when you are just not cold enough to force yourself up out of the bed to search out another quilt. And I totally refuse to close the windows yet!
Have a lovely day!
Celi
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The Kitchen's Garden 
37 responses to “Opened Tima’s gate – Things did not go as Planned.”
Oh my, I laughed so hard. This would make a delightful picture book. I loved that the chickens were the tattle tales. And that the dog wanted to sort everything out. And the peacock and pig going for a walk together. I had to read it twice. As my hubby would say, “You can’t make this up.”
It was entertainment – and now that Wai is having his morning nap I am going to go and let Tima out again – see how long they can go without a brawl!
Darene, I love the idea of turning this into a storybook for children!!! Celi, it is definitely something to put on your to-do list! 🙂 You mentioned last week not having time for a full length book, so starting with a children’s book might be the way to go!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂
This is the best story ever. I wish I could have seen the geriatric pigs tangling! Thanks for a Sunday morning laugh.
My phone went straight back into my pocket when they started to fight! No way do we want geriatric blood shed!
The only thing better than this story would be to have it all on a lovely reel to watch the goings-on in real time! The picture of both pigs, the various chickens scattered and milling around and Quaker looking off for Miss C to intervene (or maybe Boo) is exactly like a school-yard playground scene in animal form. Thank you for the hilarious laughter this morning!! Oh, I also think Wai deserves a good long timeout in the corner for his behavior.
We will see how they go today. My brother suggested that I should set up a real time camera for a few hours a day so people could work with the sounds of the farmyard in the back ground. The problem being of course that I don’t get internet in the house half the time – how to get it in the barn would be a mission in itself!
That would be a lovely idea, but you would need to transport the entire farm and crew to downtown Chicago just to have reliable internet! Seems counterproductive sadly 🙂
Indeed!!!
HIlarious – I laughed out loud and of course it’s all the more funny told by such an excellent story teller!
Thank you, Mad!! Popping over to see your recipe this weekend. And as an aside the first stage of the wild plum brandy was a success! Strained and in the fridge – it is bright red and sweet and tart at the same time – I wonder if I could add it to Gin as well? What do you think?
I think you could try it – sweet and tart sounds right. Normally sloe gin is just gin, sloes and sugar. People often reuse the sloes after making the gin, by covering them with brandy for another few months …or cider, which will ferment, so you need an airlock.
Got it. I think this might be more like a simple syrup with taste!
You could drain the syrup to use with something else and add gin to the plums. I think steeping it like that for a couple of months would be similar to sloe gin. I fill a container half full with sloes, then add sugar and gin. You could probably skip the sugar and adjust the sweetness near the end. Sloes can be used twice with gin, so I think your plums would still impart the right amount of flavour. Or you could pick some more wild plums, freeze them overnight, or prick them all over and use them 50:50 with gin.
Ok! I still have the strained plums. I will try the gin.
Sweet and tart sounds like it should be good!
So funny- delightful post
Good morning Beth and Thank you! It was an entertaining day with Tima back out!
LMAO
Loved this barnyard tale! I needed a laugh this morning. Tima and Wai, what a pair :*)
I LOVE stopping in to see what the farm is up too. Always a delightful post. Keep on posting sweet lady.
Jo
Thank you Jo! I will indeed keep posting!
Joyful story telling, thank you, and somehow Boo always seems to know how to deal with any situation, ( except for a thunder storm that is).
Tg for Boo.
Bravo to Boo. He is worth his weight in gold. Always in your corner, Cecilia!
Yes. Though a trifle over zealous at times!
I remain fascinated by the pigs and their shenanigans.
Here it remains above 100F; what a concept to feel cold!
Oh my god!!! Over 100 still. Sorry – that is just plain mean!!
Very nice & informative
[…] other day I read a post from Cecilia at The kitchens garden in which she told of her two large, ancient pigs getting up to mischief. I have followed Cecilia, a […]
Oh Celi I loved his post and the following one It took me back 25 years and as a bit of self promotion here’s the link https://growingyoungereachday.wordpress.com/2023/09/13/a-farmer-i-will-never-be/. BTW I am still waiting to hear how I can be Wai’s supporter.
Oh thank you for the shout out. Tima’s sponsor sends $10 dollars a month via paypal. Would something like that work for you? You could do it as a paypal via this site or as a subscription via SubStack – it all goes to the same feed shed. And thank you so much! That would be wonderful.
I will go the paypal way. Do I make the recipient kitchengardens or whom?