I have given up on trying to buy presents for the farm-hand husband. Nothing is ever right. Year after year my presents lie unused on the table, sometimes for months until I put them away myself. Total waste of money and effort. For a few years I gave him cash which he quite liked. Last year I even bought him a gift card which went down like a lead balloon.
So, this year, I bought him something I have wanted for ages, something I have been thinking about since I visited my brother.
A leaf blower.
But not to blow leaves – though that is a very good use for a leaf blower as long as you don’t blow them away from your trees. Leaves are best left on the ground under the trees – nature drops them there on purpose.
This leaf blower is for cleaning out the insides of the vehicles. Specifically my car. My brother’s theory is that you simply tidy the car then open all the doors, start at one end and just blow all the dust and debris straight out.
But where does it go? I asked him.
Away. He said.
Away. I thought.
I mean dust gathers everywhere in my car with all the animals and the feed and bucket after bucket of vegetables from the restaurant that it lugs around.
Yesterday was birthday day so I gave Our John his present. (I wrapped it in my farm jacket because it was handy. His mother gave him the jacket for Christmas a few years ago and he has never worn it because she gives him a jacket every Christmas – and he is seldom outside long enough to get cold so he never wears them, so now I wear one of three XXL Carhart jackets that come down to my knees and cover my hands completely. I can easily fit a small man in that jacket with me if I were so inclined though it is more likely to be a piglet – Jude used to ride around in my jacket. It is a bit of an orphan look but I am not spending money on a jacket for me when there are so many unworn jackets on the hooks. Our John never notices).
I don’t need a jacket, he said, as I handed him the parcel.
Ta Da! I said whipping the jacket off like a magician, to reveal the leaf blower.
He pretended to be impressed by saying, What is it?
(I bought him a small leaf blower so it would fit in my car so it might be described as a bit light weight and was in a line green box so the question was a perfectly reasonable one).
Once he put it all together I took it and blew all around the edges of the old wooden floors in the lounge. Blew the cobwebs out of the high ceilings, blew all around the paintings, under the table, across the kitchen floor (the kitchen floor has wide gaps between the old floor boards so that worked super well), I shocked both the dogs by giving them a blow out then started on the verandah and down the path to my car.
The best birthday present ever, I announced to the birthday boy as I returned – already he was back in his iPad -(in, not on, he resides IN his iPad) – so he did not respond and I plugged the spare battery in to charge it up.
Then I carefully placed my new toy on the shelf under the table where no one could find it.
Yesterday I carried a bottle of birthday champagne from fridge to fridge in my clean car in case I saw him in my travels during the day but our paths did not cross again (three family farms, five houses – lots to do) so I drank it with the granddaughter ring-in minder and the granddaughter night-nurse in town last night.
I am starting in on the book shelves with my new leaf blower today!
Celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
42 responses to “The Best Present Ever”
That is the most ingenious gift ever! You are so clever. Enjoy the gift.
I am! It is a new world! Good morning Darlene – though afternoon for you I think?
It’s late afternoon and I’m preparing dinner, roasted butternut squash with chickpeas and tahini. Then a long evening walk with the dogs. All good. BTW, those chicks are now young adults it looks like!
Oh your dinner sounds divine!!
First of all, we are married to the same man. My Steve leaves carefully-chosen presents in their boxes for months until I get them out and set them up. (Once it was a toaster. Took two minutes to arrange.) But second–you are so brilliant! I did get Steve a leaf blower, a small one, a year ago and he does use it. (Took a few months but finally happened.) But it never occurred to me how handy it would be inside, for cobwebs and blowing out the pine needles that collect on the door mat. And dust! Oh my, a whole new world has opened up!
Steve and John!! So happy to discover that other men are like this too. And also so glad that we are old enough now to buy toasters as presents!!
Oh my gosh! A leaf blower to clean the car! I never would have thought of that! What a brilliant idea!!! We do have a leaf blower, but a big one, as we have scads and scads of leaves in the fall, and to walk out on our porch it must be swept or blown off daily. I might try using that on my car which always has farm debris, especially on the floors. I love your brother’s idea of where the dust and dirt goes… away! To settle somewhere else…, but that’s okay too! It is the perfect gift indeed!!! 😉 And how wonderful to continue our John’s birthday celebration with the granddaughters! Perfect!!!
Right? The big one might do a better job – I am sure my brother has an industrial sized blower!
Hilarious and you got to drink the champagne! I have to wonder if Tima is frightened by such things …I suspect not!
I attempted to give her a blow dry too but she took off at speed!!
ROFL!
I wonder how a leaf blower would cope with sand…. I get a lot of sand in my car, due to sandy feet and paws when we take doggo to the beach for a Big Run. I’m not sure it’s light enough to blow all the way out. I might ask the Husband to experiment with the compressed air hose in the truck wash-bay at his work. Brilliant idea if it works!
No point in buying a leaf blower in north Queensland for leaves, as most of our trees are not deciduous, so we don’t own one. And it would cause a blizzard of wood shavings if I tried to clean out the hen house with it!
They clean cars with compressed air when they detail them. So I think that would work well!
Now I am thinking of using it to clean out the chook house. I could wear a mask!
… and a hat! You don’t want used chook bedding in your hair.
Oh the thought of a sand storm around your car! You would need to wear a mask and eye protection!
Exactly! Not to mention the potential damage of the stuff getting into the vents and electronics!
We recently replaced our garage roof. Afterwards our garage was a mess. The roofer said, “Let me blow it out “ He did, saving me at least two hours of sweeping and cleaning. Leaf blowers! Yay.
I have never had one and I love it now!
Nice … Save life of creatures due to being a human…
I don’t have a leaf blower anymore, but I do have a small 2 gallon shop vacuum that has both vacuum and blow, just move the hose, what doesn’t get blown away gets vacuumed up, It has a soft brush to dust inside with and it wasn’t at all expensive. The dogs hated it, the cat does now and I have to check So I don’t use it while the great-grandson is sleeping, it’s very loud.
Sounds super useful though.
I asked the chatbot Bard for more ways to use a leaf blower.
Start a fire.
Dry your hair.
Blow soap bubbles.
Blow up a bouncy house.
Clean your gutters.
Blow snow.
Create art.
Wow.
Up I go to do my gutters!!
Be careful!
I’ll get Boo to hold the ladder. Actually it is a job that is on my list anyway. I just never thought of a leaf blower!
I think you just sped up moving through the list
And there is this… https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PlPQut0YIy8&ab_channel=TheOriginalMultitasker
I’ll have a watch. Maybe I should put my housekeeping with the leaf blower on utube too!
I want to see that video. 😆
😂 start a fire!
Blow oxygen onto the kindling to get it going.
Genius. No words except… I very much enjoyed this tale, and that you got to drink the champagne.
Just looked up our Bunnings store > Small leaf blower. Christmas present. Me. Wine already ordered. You always were a practical girl – thanks! Oh – keep on enjoying yours!!!
Lovely!! And yes!! I do.
Perfect!
lol. I would amend your brother’s “Away,” to, “Up in the air to everywhere else”, which is okay as long as you’re outside, or out in the barn where it really doesn’t matter which direction the dust and debris are going; but I’d be more inclined toward Aquila’s 2gallon shopvac with the more specific option of momentarily going “away from where it’s not wanted” to out onto the compost pile to where it can both be useful and gone; with the added ability of sucking up wet, or dry, or in-between… ; )
Maybe next birthday (or this Christmas)?
This gave me a much needed laugh! I picture you joy in walking around with “John’s leaf blower” just blowing everything about. Way to go in getting a gift that will be used, and topping the day off with the champagne!
Yes! I am calling it a success all round!!
The blower isn’t sending the dirt ‘away’, it’s helping the dirt find its roots
Yes!! Back home you go dust!!