I clean when I am Anxious

I am working with a little anxiety at the moment; The house is sparkling. But never finished. So there is always more cleaning to do which is good. That makes me less anxious. Cleaning, tidying, doing that pesky personal admin, tidying one’s desk, that all helps us run our lives smoothly and alleviates ordinary anxiety.

The barn is coming along. There is always something to do in there.

I mopped and vacuumed and cleaned for three hours straight at my workplace last night.

I call it my paid work-out. That used up lots of nervous energy too.

I am still anxious. Better. Maybe we can downgrade the anxiety to simple worry now. But this does not mean I Have Anxiety. I hear young people telling me this sometimes. ‘I have anxiety – I cannot be expected to cope’, they say. Almost as though if they HAVE anxiety (though quite undiagnosed) it must be a kind of PTSD that they cannot avoid.

Labels are dangerous and itch the back of your neck. Cut those labels off.

Worries come and go. They are normal. I don’t have anxiety and anxiety does not have me. It is a misused label like natural or botanical. Unfair to the people who really do suffer from anxiety. My worries are specific and everything is in order for a solution – or not as the case may be. You know how much I hate that expression ‘it is what it is’ ( it feels so defeatist) – I prefer ‘ah, well’. But yeah. We deal with what we have been handed.

Yet still I clean. Ah, well. I also clean when I am angry – but this is not angry.

So I plot and stock up. Scrub. Make lists. Today I am going to stock up.

You know, I still have roots in the garden. I pulled up some beetroot the other day and roasted it. And green onions! And parsley. Feels like New Zealand where I used to garden all year round.

I should have sown parsnips. This is the perfect winter to grow parsnips.

Eggs!

Even though we are only a breath past the shortest day the chickens are laying just a few more eggs. And here is a TIP for you chicken keepers that I just learned this winter.

Dry LEAVES make the best egg nests. Jam them into the laying boxes pat them down a little and they knit together so beautifully. After a few days the chickens will have created a gorgeous bowl shape to hold their lovely eggs. And it holds for a long time.

Above is not the best example but it is pretty.

Mr Flowers

Mr Flowers is serenading Quacker.

It is not spring, I tell them.

Feels like it, they say.

Him Indoors has told me about a place he knows that has peacocks. Tantamount to agreement that Mr Flowers may have company.

Though he seems happy with his duck.

Mr Flowers – not Him Indoors. Mr Flowers is happy with his duck company. I think getting more ducks might be pushing my luck with Him Indoors (the disappearance of an entire flock last summer is a mystery as yet unsolved).

Taking the Waters

I pulled out the hoses and filled all the waters yesterday. One good thing about a warm winter (today is 38f/3.3c) is not having to fill the cow’s water with buckets from the house. When the outside faucet freezes life becomes hard. But the water is flowing and Quacker was thrilled to find that the connection still leaks. (Need to put that on the list).

Even though it does not look like getting too cold for a while I still drained the hoses of water and hung them back up on their winter posts. Out of habit.

I feel better already!

Talking to you always makes me hopeful.

Love Celi

PS Watch out for this evenings Take Ten. (Yesterday was the chicken teepee – so sweet!). If you have signed up it will land in your inbox at 5pm Central. Thank you to the people who have upgraded – you are enabling me to share these Take Ten ten minute farm breaks with everyone – (plus feeding the pigs and supporting my writing.) The joy of it!