Just popping in to see how everyone is doing. It is as hot as expected out here in the Central Valley in California. Really hot.
The reports from the farm are good – except a hawk got one of the turkeys. Damn hawks. So the growing birds are back to restricted walks. They can wander about while R and the girls are working outside but then back into their house.
They need to grow a bit bigger maybe. Some of our hawks are big as you know. And I am not allowed to throw things at them.
But otherwise all is good on the farm so far.
My knee has been giving me grief for the last few weeks, so I was wearing a soft sports brace to support the knee cap and hold the patella—wobbly from an old injury—in place. It does this every now and then. And no I have not been to a doctor.
I went out shopping with my son on the first day I was here and was limping a bit as I followed him around the supermarket. Looking down, my son asked me why I had taken the brace off.
“Oh, I don’t know,” I said. “I just did. It was like…” I paused, then trailed off.
“You didn’t want to look weak,” he said.
I looked at him, surprised that he had nailed the problem. “Yes—that’s it,” I said. “I am so proud of how strong I am and how fit. I can sling bales for hours. I am fitter than most women my age,” I whined. “I hate to be let down by my body like that.”
“No one knows you here, in the supermarket, though,” he said. “You could have worn it.”
“I know,” I said, limping across to check out the cheese. I am allowed to buy cheese—he is in charge of everything else. My children are quite forthright when it comes to their kitchens. I rummaged through the piles. “This label says this is French brie,” I said, “but the whole stack is Italian. They mixed their signs up,” I said and set about righting this wrong.
“Hmm,” he said, seeing me change the subject with the labels.
Why are we so afraid that someone will see the messy bits in our lives—the broken wings and cobwebs, the sore knee and tired eyes?
It is an ancient knowledge, not showing weakness within the tribe. Not being able to carry your weight risks being left behind. Shunned. Put aside. This fear is amplified in the present news cycle – any sign of weakness at all and the news media piles on like a school of piranhas. Ripping the body, that shows the flaws, apart. Ruthlessly sidelining the slow. Screaming with justification. Blood in their teeth.
It is not just vanity. One has to be very careful to remain strong and fast and tight. Watching for sharks and pot holes and baggy arms. Or risk one’s place in the tribe as an elder becoming instead a has-been.
So, that is what I was thinking about as I was on my walk yesterday. Carefully. Then more confidently, applying speed after the knee warmed up and that knocking feeling went away. Maybe the forced rest is working.
It is a flaw in itself though. The fear of looking lesser.
What do you think?
Celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
29 responses to “How is everything going?”
Interesting and thought-provoking commentary. I, too, have a old left knee injury, but objected to surgery to repair the torn ligament. I wore an orthopedic support and then an ace bandage, but kept walking, too, just to have needed, unrestricted mobility. It wasn’t for show, but for practicality. The brace was troublesome to put on and remove. Also, I believed my knee would heal faster if I maintained mobility, of sort, but carefully. So that’s what happened. Now I wrench my leg, from time to time, but I have found that a certain position helps me slip the joints back in place, if I can sit and wait a few minutes to relax and calm down.
Animal-wise, I live in fear of hawks, but I have more deserved fear of owls in Spring, and of foxes that attack my chickens, and me. June is the worst month, but August, and all the rain we have had, makes for puddles, ants, fleas, and mites. Apparently snakes, like copperheads, are being spotted, too.
absolutely 100% agree that moving is the most important healing devise for these long term irritations. And ice. Ice often. Though if I sit down to elevate and ice I tend to feel stiffer when I get back up!!
cottonmouths sound nasty. The summer in your neck of the woods can be life threatening!
Ice is impractical for me, because it melts in summer so fast and gets everything wet. But I do what I can to keep putting one foot in front of the other.
Katharine, a friend made me bags of rice that can kept in the freezer and then used for icing my knees. They work really well! And they aren’t difficult to make. 🙂
Thanks for the info, but my mobility problems are interconnected, with all of them happening at the same time. I lost everything in my freezer when Matthew struck, and power was out for a week. The freezer and refrigerator are usful, when there is power. They do deter ants and roaches. We have lots of power outages, though.
I am exactly the same. I don’t want to be the old one left behind. And yes, I would have fixed the signage in the grocery store too. My hubby always laughs at that.
We are helpful like that!!
My right knee gives me trouble too – it’s from carrying round heavy bags of cameras for years. It gave way around 2018 as I walked down the steps from a plane with a heavy bag on my back. It went back to normal a few months later but got worse again 2 years ago when I had to move house. It has taken a year to improve this time! I hope your’s is quicker!
Oh how dreadful for t your knee to go out when you are traveling! they do take a while to get better naturally. Remember how Boo had to be tied to my belt for months – maybe even a year of no running – for his knee to get better. Good luck to you and me I think.
Well at least it happened when I was almost home, as opposed to the beginning of my journey! Both times it has been relative to carrying heavy things – I’m too strong for my body! I am quite pleased to find that my knee has got considerably better lately, because I did think I’d worn it out.
The threat of wearing a knee out sounds ominous. But so glad it is doing well now. Do you think the bicycling helps?
I’m not sure, it does add to wear and tear on the knees and hips over time. I have RSI in my wrists and some of that relates to the computer, but I think perhaps more relates to cycling. Bone joints do dry out with age and use. However, I do like oily fish, olive oli and the animal fats (like lard and duck/goose fat) which are supposed to help.
Oh, yeah! As we get older we certainly don’t want to show our pain or weaknesses. Especially around young family members…
Agreed! Got to keep the upper hand as long as possible! 😂😂
Good morning Cecil…..Glad you checked in to let us know how you are doing.
Knee pain, Hugh? I’m 78 and have had to deal with knee pain on an off over the years. Physical therapy helped and I am religious about doing it every day at home. Also am doing chair yoga and pilates at the senior center. Am very careful not to to do things that aggravate the condition. Taught aerobics for fifteen years or so and I’m sure that did nothing to help my poor knee. I, too, have a leg brace but have not really used it since the above mentioned has seemed to keep the pain at bay. Also, put ice on my knee every night as I sit and watch the television. Just some ideas at what has worked for me.
Hope these ideas help you.
“Keep on keeping’ on” haha
Jo
great tips! I also use ice – about three times a day at this point. It is an excuse to sit down! In fact I have ice on my knee at this very moment!
Yes, both knees are bone on bone. I use braces and a walker now when out shopping (on the rare occasions my vehicle will function). l’ve had to deal with physical problems all my life and just keep fighting through. Within the last year or so I’ve started taking a couple milligrams of boron every day which surprised me and helped the pain as well as getting a red light device (a belt that can be wrapped around the knee) which also helped, more than I ever thought it would. Since I’ve been using those things the grinding when I walk has gotten less, the pain is less and it no longer feel like someone injected burning gasoline into my knee joints which was an all day every day thing. Also am taking glucosamine with MSM for a long time. I was told to get my knees replaced years ago but had no medical insurance and wasn’t thrilled with the idea in the first place. I just keep creaking around every day and if I look weak, well, it’s the truth. I’ve found that most people are kind and helpful especially now that i’m no longer in Chicago which was a pleasant surprise. All you can do is keep moving.
keeping moving is the thing! I am so glad you have found some techniques to help. What is this red light? How does that work?
Women carry the weight of the family on and in their bodies and social expectations enable us to believe that we must keep going no matter what. We buy into all of it ourselves until one day there are no more excuses or reason why and we simply cannot move. Then people look at us as if we are aliens with 12 heads- so much surprise that we are actually human and not invincible and need some fucking help on occasion! As someone who would almost rather die than ask for help or admit to not being superwoman I would have learned and would say- change up that notion Miss C! Show some vulnerability. Admit you cannot do it all and own your right to ask others to pick up the slack. There will be disappointment and disbelief from some (many) but you just smile as you say “someone else must do that because I cannot” and move on to something you can do. Letting go is so hard but the alternative is so much worse in my opinion. We must respect ourselves, and teach others to be aware and respect us as well.
…and I was so focused that I forgot to say how sad about the turkey! I know nature must do what is natural and those hawks see food but damn the hawks. Greedy buggers! A few mice would have sufficed I think.
yes and yes!! Though with John out of action so much I am the only one to do the heavy lifting – thank goodness I have some good help now!
I get it. I think part of the fear comes from not wanting to be judged. Our society is very ageist and looks down on anyone who people perceive as “less than” or “less capable than”.
it is true. There is no arguing that! And I have need of a healthy knee for a while yet!
Oh, you all ~ I am the oldest person of all my pals & family, except my old ex, who is one year older. I sit & read most days. I keep thinking about painting again which would be the great thing for me. But since I injured my back in my big move 4 yrs. ago now, I walk with a cane & haul stuff with my walker ( groceriesrecycling or garbage) when my son is away. I compressed my spine quite a bit so now I am 5 ft. 2″, after a lifetime of 5’7″, so I can’t reach stuff I used to get handily. So I look & I am feeble, but then I never was the tennis champ or the great runner. I did swim daily for years & thus avoided injuries to plague me now, except my bad back. Except I have managed to break four ribs back when ( in childbirth, gardening etc.) I have both my old original hips & knees, & plan to till the end. So I have rarely been seen or thought of as tough, though I must be, to still be here in one piece, if somewhat bent. But I say the More Strong Women we have, the better this world will be, so all you Tough, Strong Women Keep on showing & wielding your Strength & Power. Bully for You!
By the sounds of it you are a tough old broad too!! So join the club! I wish my mother in law would do half what you do.
hi Celi. I am probably one of your oldest followers. After a fall, six years ago when I ended up with traumatic brain injury. I have slowly learned to ask for help. I am totally recovered except that my balance is not good, and now I have succumbed and have accepted that I need a walker for any length of walk. And I always use a cane for those short “hops” to the supermarket. As well, as looking after our body physically as we age, we need to be aware that our minds are not quite as active as they were. I no longer do the physical things, but I do write (w it be the great New Zealand novel?) and run a series of courses at the local Arts and Crafts Centre centered on writing. My latest thing is a young writers workshop, and I am so impressed with what 10-year-olds can do and what they know. So to all you strong, physically active folk, I say well done and keep on doing what you’re doing. As for me, it’s off to the computer again.
Oh my, you’ve struck a nerve. My hips and knees are fine, it’s the arthritis in the neck and back, a wonky left bicep tendon and no cushion left between the bones in my wrists and fingers. My dad had both hips replaced and arthritis in his spine but never quit, still rode his horse, hunted, fished, golfed, on and on. His best advice was ‘don’t stop moving or it’ll get ya’. I try to follow that. I have help available but I fear I haven’t the patience to wait for it to come – when I want something done I want it done now! Stubbornness seems to be a familial trait. At any rate, I will keep trying and finding new ways to do things and at last, if I absolutely cannot do something I will finally admit that. That’s a biggee!
You and I are so similar! Stubborn! And impatient!! I agree with your Dad. We push on. Finding new ways to do things is something I should not forget.
It’s the season for knees. I’m wearing a brace on my left knee. The meniscus is torn again, for the second time in 6 years and will need an arthroscopy to trim away the flappy bit as it’s the kind that won’t heal itself. (White cartilage rather than red, which has a blood supply. ) I walk as long as it lets me, and then it locks and movement becomes impossible. But I couldn’t do it without the brace, as it’s very unstable laterally. I don’t love the brace, but it does at least warn people I can’t move fast, or get out of the way at a normal rate. One of these days, it’ll mean a knee replacement, but I’m putting off the evil moment as long as possible.