With big machines racing through the fields and a high, hot Southerly wind, yesterday was loud. The dust from the harvest was whipping around me as I worked.
The rain in the forecast came to nothing.
I feel disconsolate today. While my engagement numbers continue to rise on Substack with one newsletter a week, and two special videos for The Tenners, they continue to decline here at WordPress where I post five times a week.
Though to be fair I write fast every morning – the farm is busy so I often don’t get back to the study until the evening and I am not an evening writer.
So maybe there is less value?
Are you feeling this too? How are your blogs doing?
I don’t care about stats per se but I do care about comments and engagement. I started this blog in 2011 because I was lonely, farming all the way out here by myself. You are why I am here. To keep in touch with you.
And this awful and frankly frightening election cycle is feeding the flight in my fight response. Maybe that is where my disquiet originates.
Anyway.
The corn is almost in from this field but the ground and the field is very dry. The fire risk is real with these big hot machines.
The harvester is still silent this morning.
The little black pigs.
Every evening I go in to teach the piglets how to make a big high deep bed to sleep in. They need to learn to burrow under the straw. And with no mother to teach them I do.
I layer up the hay and tunnel inside – they follow me in and think this is a great play time.
Winter is coming.
But not yet! The leaves began to fall in earnest yesterday and all I do is rake them back under the trees or into the gardens. Leaves are gold. Don’t waste them.
I have potted up these little oak trees to overwinter in the glasshouse. (I drilled four holes into the bottom of these tins that are discarded from the restaurant. The tins are a great size for potting up plants. Very old fashioned). Later today or maybe tomorrow I will plant 6 maples down into the Fellowship Forest. Maples grow fast and start sinking carbon just as fast.
Oak is not so fast! But longer living.
Today I will take Camera House out to play. That’s guaranteed to cheer me up!
I wrote this a couple of days ago:
You can’t keep joy in a bottle. It does not belong in a box.
Joy can be as fleeting as the pause between the tick of seconds. That tiniest of sublime moments when your dreams are as clear as memories.
Watch out for this joy. It will come each and every day. Look for it winking past. See it for what it is.
This speck of joy is a dreams nourishment.
And all you need is a drop.
Celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
61 responses to “The air itself was loud yesterday”
Things seem to be happening on WP- many folks are mentioning issues in general with posting and such and are frustrated. Others- some bloggers who have been blogging for years and years- and also reading/commenting for years and years- are leaving. Tired of blogging- nothing more to say- finding other things are necessary- just impacts from life and so many social issues??? But they are leaving and most don’t hang around to comment even when they choose not to write. I do not want to contemplate losing this blog on this space if you are thinking of moving off of WP. I can understand why there are reasons, but this is my well-known and loved base for knowing you and the farm. This blog, your words and pictures and opinions all bring me small moments of joy with every read.
yes. It is all about the farm. Which worries me too – when I am not on the farm who am I then? But of course I will carry on. Still lots to say here! And what would I do when I wake up in the morning if not to write to you.
Yet the farm is only one part- a big one yes because that is how we originally identified with Cecilia. There is so much more to the person we have come to know here and that person has an outstanding ability to express themselves in ways that are deep and emotionally satisfying and not farm related at all. So much more to you as a person/human on this planet than just the farm C.
Absolutely DITTO what Deb said!!!
I am one of your eager morning readers too. It took me a long time to respond in the comments – was shy to join the conversation. So if anyone is reading along and hesitant do take the step. It is a great way to let Celi know we are really here.
I love the image of you tucking the little black pigs in. You will need to cover them up like you used to do for Sheila.
I think the election cycle is getting to all of us – even outside of the US. Time to do what we can and then hunker down into our own little circle of life and to note the little joys that are always there. Well put Celi!
the election is a tough one. Two candidates who are polar opposites in so many ways. But yes! Let’s keep looking for moments of glee!
I read your emails every morning without fail, but rarely go to the WordPress site, since everything I need is here. Is that a problem? I don’t always have time to go to a website, but can make a point of it if that helps…
Lynn
That is an interesting point though Lynn. Maybe there are just as many people reading in email. A very good point. I don’t want to quit here – not at all.
Celi, you can tell in your stats how many people read your emails. When I get your email I HAVE to go to the page to read it. It is only on the page that I get the full text. I’ve often wondered how you did that. It is a truer measure of who is reading.
Good morning Ceci……..Oh my…I would hate to see you give up your WordPress sight. I read your blog everyday even though I may not comment each time.
I so enjoy your wisdom and wit. It is so true that life in general can sometimes get us down but you are so correct in looking for “little joys everywhere”. I know I do and as I am getting older it is even more important.
Sending positive thoughts your way.
Jo
thank you for your positive thoughts Jo and all your lovely comments. I am not going anywhere anytime soon!!
Those are big skies!
yes! The skies are wondrous!
Yes it seems to me that blogs are really losing ground these days. I used to regularly go to about 8 or 9 and am now down to four. It’s sad for me since I have come to feel (rightly or wrongly) that I knew these people and so because of that was interested in their lives, bits about their families, what they did with their time, what they thought and having a sort of ongoing conversation with them through commenting. My original group has lessened either by just ending or with posts so random that there is not enough continuity to really feel connected anymore.
So I do hope you continue with your blogging. I do understand that you are a VERY BUSY person and blogging does involve a lot of time and attention but hope that this connection does not end. I love to hear about your life and the lives of all your plants and animals. I have learned so many things from reading about your days. Today, just imagine that the little black pigs need to be trained to snuggle into the straw to get a nice warm place to spend the night. It’s not instinctive but takes someone, you or Mama Pig, to teach them! Wow, who knew? Not me! Driving to Wisconsin several weeks ago when we hit Rockford I thought to myself, Cecilia lives just over there northeast of Chicago. Looking out over the flat landscape filled with corn and (for me threatening windmills) I recognize the scenery from seeing your wonderful photographs of the land and skyline. It makes a connection for me where before there was none.
what a super wonderful comment. I agree that we become a family of sorts. Do you still enjoy the blog when I am not on the farm? I might have to travel a bit next year.
those little back pigs are just our sweetest things. I could lay down in the straw and sleep with them myself!
I read your blog as a email. Enjoy your pictures and stories, it’s my morning routine.
I don’t comment though.
well thank you so much Carol for popping in to comment. It means a lot – I can tell you!
I’m still here too. And on Substack. I follow the blog through Feedly and click through religiously as part of my daily self-care breaks at work. I’m sorry you feel lonely and disconsolate. So much unrest and unease in the air. I am hopeful that once the election is past there will be some generalized relief for all of us.
I think you are right Amy. Either I will be greatly relieved after the election or I will be packing!😂 plus of course the season! Winter coming and all that. But I am quickly learning from the comments today that there’s are a lot of readers who I did not even know about! Great right?
Could the lonely and disconsolate feeling be from the time of year? I only rarely feel lonely, I like to be alone. There are days it’s just hard to get through them but I don’t cling to that and usually get busy with some project that’s in progress.
I may not comment every day, but do when I feel there’s something to say. I haven’t written on my blog for a long time. Things have just been too unsettled with living arrangements and the people around me. I find it takes some peace and quiet to be able to write. Time I know I won’t be interrupted with someone else’s needs or wants. I tend to be nocturnal so early morning is usually my bedtime (even as a kid which drove my mother nuts).
I have voted, not that there was a comfortable choice, or that the vote even counts for anything anymore. It seems there is much more venom in the campaigning than there used to be and far less moral people involved. Best leave that pile of manure alone.
I do miss having a view of the open sky, lots of trees around the place I’m staying, feels very much like a forest.
well done for voting. I think it does count. I can’t vote because I am not a citizen. So I rely on you all to do the choosing.
And yes. I do think the seasons are not helping. They just keep changing!
Beautiful photos as always. I’m a usual reader, but not a frequent commenter. WP has made it a bit more difficult for me to comment; I have to switch browsers and sometimes I’m too lazy!
Lazy is just our minds sitting priorities. Works for me!
I cannot really add to all of the heartfelt comments. I read your daily blog as an email and it is by far my most favourite of the day. For example reading about your over whelming kindness and care you show those funny little black hogs brings me close to tears.l guess the most important thing is that you keep in touch with us in whatever way is the best for YOU. Thank you Celi for it all. Hope you feel in a better place very soon💖
I often feel better after being out on the farm all morning. I wonder if I just wake up miserable!
I hope, as you have written before, that you recovered from feeling disconsolate by 10 am today. Understandable to feel that way with the loud, hot corn harvest and the uncertainty of the election cycle. I have commented on Substack but usually read your blog from my email. You and your writing are more than the farm. Your life experience comes through in your words and ideas. Sue S.
thank be you Sue! This means a lot. I have always had a niggly feeling that if I go out of my farm niche I might lose you all.
Definitely wouldn’t lose us, not me, if you moved out of farm niche. I think most of us have been here for a longtime and it is more than just the farm now, we have made connections. Don’t worry 😉 we wouldn’t jump ship!
I love your daily blogs and I’m here for you and the animals – especially the pigs!
Oddly my blog viewers dipped a few years ago, but have really come back in the last two years. This year is the best for numbers in a decade…
that is interesting. Do you have a theory as to why? .
I have no idea whatsoever, but it has been a steady increase since August 2022.
Even when I done get a chance to respond, your posts are so much more than a drop of joy Celi. It was absolutely pure joy I felt while picturing your burrowing ahead of the piglets in the fluffed up straw. Even without a response we are absolutely still here (and statistics be damned, lol)
yes! Statistics be damned! And now I had better get out and feed those animals. They are all a little unsettled due to the machines in the field.
You can’t keep joy in a bottle! Which I am so glad to have my blog so I can share my joy!!! Hugs to you!
and you share it so beautifully- hugs straight back to you!
Thank you. Very much