We have left 2011, I have finished extracting all the stories and recipes to be edited (and in some cases) rewritten for The Little Books from that year. Already there is a lot of material.
And on we go into 2012 – this was on February 27 2012
“Something has to be done about the fighting”
I had a discussion in the barn last night about the cock-fights in the farmyard. It went something like this.
Miss C: Peghorn. Have you been fighting with other roosters?
Peghorn: (Studiously silent. Maybe a little side-eye).
Miss C: Have you looked at your face lately?
Peghorn: There is nothing wrong with my face. I have a pretty face.
Miss C: You have peck marks.
Peghorn: No Miss C, they are pimples. I am growing up.
Miss C: They are attack marks. Feathers missing. You have been fighting with the other roosters!
Peghorn: I never did!
Son of Neanderthol Man : (from the rafters above) He starts it!
Miss C : Is that you Son of Neanderthol Man?
Son of Neanderthol Man: He started it. I was just minding my own business. Looking after my hens.
Miss C: Who is that up there with you?
Son of Neanderthol Man: Up there in the top of the barn? That’s my son.
Miss C. Great. Another one! Where have you been hiding him? What is his name then? I am not calling him the Son of the Son of Neanderthol man. That is too long to call.
Son of Neanderthol Man: Call him Bob, then.
Peghorn: (in a scoffy voice) Bob!
Peghorn: Anyway I did not pick a fight with you or your stupid son. I was just looking at the garden. Minding my own bleedin’ business and you jumped me!
Hairy: Huh. In a pigs eye. (His voice rumbled with a mouth full).
Miss C: Wait. Who is that? Is that you Hairy McLairy?
Hairy: Yup (munch munch).
Miss C: What are you doing in there, that is Mama’s feed. What on earth are you doing in the Mothers Pen? You should be in the Black Hole of Calcutta! That is your pen.
Hairy: I broke down the gate.
Miss C: You broke down the gate!?!
Two Random Hens: He lies, he lies. He broke down two gates!! We told him there would be trouble!
Hairy: Who said that?
Two Random Hens: We saw you. You broke down two gates.
Hairy: Say that again and I will get Miss C to take you to the Bantam Swap Meet!
Two Random Hens: We are not bantams! What a horrible thing to say! You are so rude!
Senior Hen Wife: You two go to bed and stop causing trouble!
Miss C: For goodness sake. Stop that cackling up there. Hairy, you broke down two gates?
Hairy: Is there an echo in here?
Miss C: (becoming ever so slightly exasperated) I will be coming back to you in the morning. Just you wait there, Hairy MacLairy.
Hairy: Whatever.
Miss C: I heard that. (turns back to recalcitrant rooster).Now, Peghorn, you have to stop the fighting. Are you listening to me? Look at me when I am talking to you Peghorn.
Peghorn: Hey Little Chick. Did you hear something?
Miss C: Peghorn, I need to discuss the cock fighting with you.
Peghorn: Funny I thought I heard something.
Little Chick: (in a chicken panic) It wasn’t me! I never broke it! I didn’t even know you had one! I never did nothing! I was just stood here like a good little chick!
Miss C: You never did anything. You never did nothing is a double negative.
Little Chick: Oh! OK! I never did that neither. Peghorn. You tell her. I’m the good chick!
Miss C: Alright! Everyone go to bed right this minute, one peep out of any of you and off to the Pigeon and Bantam swap meet with you. We shall discuss this in the morning!
Miss C: Off to bed for you too, Mia.
Mia: (moaning) I can’t go in there. There is a big fat ram in there, I am going to sleep out here with Mama tonight. I will watch for fights. I can be your spy.
Miss C: You watch him for me – but no fraternizing.
Hairy MaClairy: I heard that. (Talking with his mouth full)
That was at bedtime. Now it is morning. Good Morning! It is a calm sunny day so far. The sun has risen bright and clear outside my study window. I am off to feed out. I will be taking the broom though as I find it very effective for breaking up fights. Something will have to be done you know! You all have a great day.
celi
Roosters have been the bane of my life forever. And now twelve years later I leave you with same salutation and weather check.
Good morning! It snowed in the night and is cold but not as cold as the last few days. In the 20’sF but with wind. They say there is more snow on the way.
HERE is the Thursday post to substack yesterday evening with a couple of cute little farm videos.
Watch out for Sundays newsletter.
Time for me to get out and see what is going on out in the wintry farm.
Have a lovely day!
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
15 responses to “from the archives – feb 27 2012”
Who was Hairy’s best friend back then? Was it Daisy or one of the pigs..?
Hairy hung out with Winnie the most I think. The little Hereford cow that never bred. I think? I’ll find out more.
I did the dumbest thing in those days and hid recipes in the text – so I am checking each post?!😒 for gems. kind of fun though!
I knew he had a best friend that wasn’t a sheep! I remember them being quite close.
Love this so much. Those silly silly chickens.
right? And so pretty – I used my real camera in those days!
Good morning Cecilia. I LOVED your little story this morning. It truly brightened up my day.
Try to keep warm.
Jo
And the rooster wars still go on!
Well any time you want to write more of these barnyard conversations, or maybe Australian dogs/cats and bunny conversations I think that would be a huge hit! And, while the reading of children’s books is lovely why are you not WRITING children’s books among all the other things you write? I know I have said this before but you have a knack for voicing animals. There must be a wonderful illustrator within the crowds of Substack that you could share royalties with? Just imagine “The Adventures of Tim Tam the Australian Bunny Dog” 🙂
I know – The kids book industry is HARD. And you are right There are a few things I should be doing but I am trying to focus on the small stuff at the mo – I need to make some money or I am going to end up a poor old lady (emphasis on the poor) – and I really LIKE reading the books. It is as lovely for me as it is for the listener.
I found this article at Penny Hoarder (https://www.thepennyhoarder.com/make-money/voice-over-jobs-narrating-audiobooks/?aff_id=86&aff_sub3=20240119&aff_sub4=0815&aff_unique1=631faebbc5d40053170f1b01&utm_medium=email&utm_source=daily&utm_campaign=20240119&utm_content=0815&cid=631faebbc5d40053170f1b01) on being an audio book narrator. It might help you learn more about monitizing your reading. Also lots of tips on their site for making extra icome, working from home (they vet the jobs they list) and good financial advice.
You already have illustrations for children’s books, your photos. Just like in this post. Kids like that sort of thing, at least the 5 I raised did.
Cold and snowing here in north cenrtal Indiana.
Well I went there and I don’t think my reading will be much of a money maker – unless I find an author plus I have cheap equipment and no editing training. Huh. Ah well.
Add negotiator and referee to your resume!
On it!!
I do agree the animal narratives would make good books for children, especially with photos. As for editing and equipment; I’m willing to bet there’s a YouTube video or sixty-five explaining how to do it.
There is always a utube – for everything!! 😂