Put your hands in the soil every day.
This was my grandmothers advice. She was discussing with me how I should behave when I became a wife. I was being brought up to be a good wife. There was no discussion from the women in my family, about following my heart or whether I had some wonderful talent or even really having a job, I could start as a nurse or teacher if I must, but most of the discussion from my mother and grandmother was on how to run a house, how to cook, how to raise my children and how to be a good wife. And this was in the 1970’s.
However a lot of my grandmother’s advice does hold true. All my life I have put my hands in the soil and this has kept me grounded, literally as well as figuratively. It works.
Yesterday we discovered that a young family in a small town close to here, were all dead. Two adults and three children. All killed by the mother, she shot her partner, her three small children and then shot herself. I know you do not want to read this. I know my language is harsh. I am too terse maybe. Most of us do not even want to think about it. But Life is harsh. A lonely life in a small town, with no friends or family,( they had recently moved there) must be dreadfully hard. The town is about twenty minutes from here and I drove through it once. It is small and grey. The streets are empty. The curtains are closed. The children are bused out to schools elsewhere.
I did not know this woman or her family. But I wonder: if she had been putting her garden to bed for the winter, and watching the weather. If she had been deadheading and bringing in pots. If she had been sorting next years squash seeds and checking to see if they were dry enough for the children to bag and label. If she had a larder full of preserves. If she had to check her pumpkins for soft spots. And sort the good potatoes out. Would she have picked up a gun, loaded it and shot her own children. Even if she had been struggling with a mental illness and I can only assume she must have been. And I know how dreadful that struggle is. I do know. Would she have gone this far? Maybe. All I know is that your hands in the soil is the best way to mitigate that merciless loneliness. This I know too.
Phase two of the Farmy has been moved up. We need to bring the children and their families onto the Farmy. As well as cooking, we need to help the young people feed their families. We must try to find a way to break the isolation.
So, now that we are up and running, we want to create an environment for local families to come and work on the Farmy. Grow their own food, garden, raise their own beef and lamb or pork. Pat daisy. Play with the cats, and be chased about by Mia. Muck out the barn, mow, garden, prune, pick, cook. Just a few families, we will stay small. But imagine helping young families fill their freezers and jars with food that they have grown themselves. Teaching the kids to cook, preserve and run wild down the back. Giving the Mum’s a break on the verandah. But in a normal neighbourly way. An old fashioned way.
I read another beautifully crafted story this morning here and it tied in so completely with what I am so clumsily trying to say. I want to encourage other people on other properties to help people grow gardens. I want to encourage anyone with a backyard or a sunny deck or a windowsill to grow. Teach a kid to cook. Teach a kid to grow. Teach a kid to eat well. Teach a kid to eat well and grow while sitting in a tree.
So firstly, we need to help people get in contact with other like minded people, for example: bloggers who think, bloggers who eat good food, bloggers who grow good food, bloggers who take great shots of good food, Oh My that is YOU!
I have opened a FaceBook page. I need writers, photographers, cooks, eaters, consumers, shoppers, gobblers, happy people, knitters, readers, gigglers, gardeners, ponderers, poets, sad people, farmers, drinkers (oh that’s me) I need advisers. I want to repost all the good stuff. I want you to lean over my fence and share the seeds. I want us to be able to find each other. I want us to plant gardens in the spring.
Did you know that in New Zealand they are trying to pass a law so that people cannot grow, share or trade home grown food, i.e. cabbages, broccolli, corn, beans, lettuce, spinach, seeds, seedlings, even water, WATER!? what about a fish, or a roast, a cup of sugar, a pint of milk, the list goes on. It is true! They are trying to outlaw growing and sharing food. In fact they plan to have Food Safety Officers to enforce this. This is madness. Grow a garden! Start digging New Zealand! We will dig with you!
Because, if someone had leant over the fence and said to the woman in the little town not far from here, who they are burying this week, and whose name I do not know. If someone had leant over the fence and said, ‘Here are some tomato seeds, you can sow them next month, in the window, send over the kids I will show them how.’ Maybe, just maybe that would have given her breath enough to go on for another day or the breath to ask for help.
If this terribly sad woman had known that to survive she could put her hands in the soil every day. Even in a tiny pot of parsley on her windowsill. Maybe, just maybe things would have been different. And there would not be five funerals this week.
So, if you want to join my tiny revolution, to help everyone plant a vege garden and share the food and share the knowledge and SHARE THE FOOD!!. Test my Facebook link and see if I have set it up right. Press like and share the like. And lets support each other and find each other and get together and grow. It is a tiny revolution.
I think we can do this. I think we can. I really think we can. Do I sound like ‘ The Little Train that Could’? Can we change the world one garden at a time? Is it against the law to plant vegetables on the median strip!?
c
The Kitchen's Garden 
103 responses to “Is it against the law to plant vegetables on the median strip?”
That is a heartbreaking story, and although as a mother in modern times, I think the piece of the puzzle that you touch on that is probably the most important part of what your farm and ours and the ideas you have can do–bridge isolation, build connections. We live such isolated lives these days, it can be brutal for mothers I think. There are so many huge challenges and equally intense joys, but without a sounding board for both the good and the bad, how easy it is to dissolve.
I so appreciate what you plan for your farm, what a beautiful resource for your community!
sheila
Thank you Sheila. And we are lucky because we are in a position to grow an extra few seedlings and pass them over the fence. Build some bridges. It is hard to reach out though. We have been herded inside. by commercialism, tv, all of it. Time to break out! c
Every little bit helps! I plant a veggie garden every summer and share the overabundance:) Thanks for sharing!
exactly every little bit does help and maybe next season you can join the revolution and share a few plants as well! awesome.. c
Thank you for sharing this, cecelia. My Mother often told me the same thing – go work the earth and it will help you heal. It’s true, and I have felt the absence of a garden the past few years, when it used to be a source of pride and joy. at one point in my distant history, I wanted to start a shelter for battered woman that was a farm, where the women could be safe, talk, heal and reconnect with the earth and their own hopeful ability to make things grow. I’ve often thought of that idea in the last couple of years, and wish I had made it real. I’d be delighted to join your community on Facebook.
that is quite a wonderful dream, i always thought of having an enormous house, surrounded in huge gardens and filling it with old people who would do all the cooking and gardening!! .. I hope you still are able to garden in a small way, and I also hope you are able to share your joy of gardening somehow.. c
I hear stories like this and it never makes sense. So horrible, so sad. And I do think, if only a day before all this happened, if someone knew, if someone had seen her, spoken to her, she may have seen some hope in her future. At this time of the year, depression hits many people. I think you have a wonderful idea and I support you 100%. I’m also so thankful to have “met” you; you are truly one of the beautiful people of the world.
It is very true what you say about christmas, it is evidently one of the worst months in the year for suicides.. so sad, hope you are able to start spreading the gardening, maybe a plant from you will change someone’s life! and you won’t even know it, that is the amazing part.. ! c
I was late today picking up all my messages and I am reading this with tears..you are so right. It´s a tough time of year but what you say and propose is so true and so right. I´ve been through tough and dark times (although thankfully nothing like what this poor womam has experienced) but living as I do now (a little like the way you live) gives meaning to each day and hope and plans for the future. You are a wonderful woman because you care and because you understand that hope lies in the simple things.
You are so right Tanya, Hope does lie in these smallest of moments.. take good care.. c
Such a tragic story…that breaks my heart. It’s hard to read, but we can’t ignore the fact that things like this actually happen. I really admire you and what a wonderful idea…I do think one person reaching out really can make a difference. You are amazing, Cecilia!! x
And with each of us reaching out just imagine what we can achieve.. thanks caroline.. c
You’re probably the only person in the entire WORLD who could tempt me to join Facebook… I’m still thinking about it, though…I have some serious issues with that company and their values…
But, you make a compelling argument. And, you know I share your passion for All Things Muddy, and teaching our little ones about the world…
Much love to you, m’dear. You might have the biggest heart on the planet.
You don’t have to be on Facebook to join in. I will keep you up to date. On this side of the world we will not be doing much gardening for a bit anyway!! c
It’s terrible to hear about the family mentioned. I love my family so and couldn’t imagine being without them. It definitely makes you appreciate things more. As always.. its a pleasure learning more about you :). You really do remind me of my grandmother..
I love that I remind you of your grandmother, though I am not nearly old enough nor wise enough.. I hope you are having a great day and i bet you will have a lovely family christmas. c!!
I’ve already saved seeds to try to grow a garden again. (Texas this year was rather hot and everything died except the mint). If we were allowed chickens in the city limits I would be building a coop right now, or chicken tractor. For inspiration go see GardenGirlTV on YouTube or Urban Sustainable Living magazine! http://www.urbansustainableliving.com
I grew up with a huge garden, we had everything that would grow in the short Canadian summers. I dearly miss the fresh peas and potatoes and berries.
Everyone should blog, or at least write a diary or journal if you don’t have a computer. Back when nobody knew about my blog, it was still a joy to be sharing, even if only with myself. Now I love the online community that has welcomed me with open arms 🙂
All we need is love.
You have come up as anonymous, however thank you so much for dropping in. Come by again so that we can find your blog and have a read. I want to know more about your garden and your seeds.. I am not very good at saving seeds yet! c
A very poignant post Celi. I have thought for quite awhile that the sense of community that is missing from society can be held accountable for a lot of loneliness and terrible things that happen. People used to get together to swap bread to meat, share baked goods and handmade wares. I live inner city so have no garden to tend at this stage, but I do have cooking days with friends now. It’s started from being part of the blogging community and feeling food has more to offer than quenching hunger. We make tomato sauce and chutney and baked goods to share. It’s wonderful.
You’re writing inspires me Celi – don’t stop what you do. I’ve just jumped across and joined your FB group too.
Those cooking days sound really good, it is all about your neighbours and friends. teaching people to cook, exchanging recipes is so much better than giving them a biscuit and the talking and laughing and all that goes with the contact is gold. This is a wonderful idea Aimee.. c
This is an unspeakably powerful post, Celia. The deep tragedy of that woman-without-hope who committed murder-suicide, if it acted as a further catalyst on your mission to save the world one human contact at a time, is not entirely in vain. We know we’re surrounded by such horrors and that still, when they hit so close to home, they shock us. The only possible response that carries any hope is to do our incremental best to offset them with our deeds of love and kindness.
I have long fantasized about a sort of mini-communal gardening/farming exactly as you’ve described it here, and while our property here mightn’t allow anything quite on the scale you’re hoping to achieve, I suspect your post today will push me to step up my plans for what I *can* do at this place and in this time, because it needs to be done, not just be dreamed. Thank you for this, my love.
I am not surprised that you have thought of doing this, and I am not doing anything on a grand scale, just a few families, being able to raise their own meat for the freezer and plants for their gardens. We need some noise around here! get the kids away from the tele.. c
That is such a very sad story and you’re right…would that she’d had something to ground her and neighbors to lean on. I’m with you 100 percent! 3 years ago a local Georgia farmer started taking all of the waste from Whole Foods (grocery) and bio-dynamically composting it and selling it. From there he started the school farm to table program in Atlanta where he volunteered to help each of our local schools build raised bed organic gardens and all the kids help with their plot..then he expanded to our community gardens in my part of town, where each person can have a plot and now almost everyone in our little neighborhood has something edible growing in a plot in their yard or in a community garden. People share if someone has too much of a good thing, plus support local CSA’s as well. Most of our restaurants buy their produce from these school gardens and little farms, and a few have the leftover produce for sale in the front of their restaurants with info on how to support the movement. Lots have rooftop gardens and pots of herbs and greens of their own. Our part of town is now known as one of the more self-sustainable (relatively speaking) and locally supporting areas in the state…and it all happened one step at a time! Go, go, go, C…you can change the world!
that is a fantastic story, wow, that man must be a dynamic angel.. we have talked about collecting the produce waste from a supermarket in the big town.We already have wonderful compost from the animals. I am going to reopen discussions, Imagine the veges if the kids can help make the compost as well, they can take bags home for their gardens..just a little at a time though.. little chook steps.. c
Hi Ceci, I came here via a link at Amy’s blog.
What a terribly sad story. I cannot imagine a mother killing her own children. I cannot imagine how desperate she felt her situation to be that she killed her whole family too ..why why why would she kill her children too? oh sigh…
I wasn’t taught to feel the dirt from my granny or my mom [you’re so lucky] but I found out myself just from digging in the gardens in the 3 countries I’ve lived in. It’s the best medicine to cheer me up, help me feel grounded and leave me feeling good.
Great idea to get us all back to the farmy! I’m with you. And I will spread the word.
Excellent Roseanne. you are spot on. One for me and One for you Gardening, that way we get to help out in the neighbours garden too! Old fashioned. But we need to get back to those days. Thank you for dropping in and Welcome! c
I keep trying to comment here and my computer keeps switching me off. Wonderful post – although not everyone is in a position to get their hands in the soil, it can be a metaphor for sharing smiles, and help where needed. Country communities here do live like that, but big cities can be very isolating. Good luck with your campaign, it will be well worthwhile.