We had a busy day yesterday. One of my oldies took a spill and spent the night on his floor, we found him in the morning. I cleaned him up, he flatly refused to get in an ambulance but would let the ambulance boys put him in the car and so we took him to the hospital. Poor old fella. Now he is back in the arms of the Institution. And the ER nurses are still a little bemused as to how I managed to swan in and out of the ER even though I am not one of the Relatives Only Relatives!! However the other side have got him now and I know I could have done better to keep him safe. He won’t be able to come home, not for a long time. He will have to go to one of those care facilities for the rehab. His life has taken another turn. All because of a series of un-noted incidents. Nothing happens out of the blue. There is always a warning that a period of flux is coming.
Somehow his phone was not charged or in his pocket and for some obscure reason his house phone was on the blink. He had a head-cold and a dicky knee that had been playing up. He did not think it was serious, so did not mention it to me. This was not my day to visit. You see how that series of benign details converged into one moment. So the knee went out, he fell, broke his femur, could not move, had no phones and had to lie on the floor, (he pulled the blankets off the bed to cover himself) and taking a deep breath he had stoically waited. Of course his daughter (who lives far away) calls him frequently, alerted us to his radio silence that morning and in we swooped. After a rotton night for the old fella.
But you can see how a series of minor incidents went uncollated, critical mass was reached, fate saw the gap, snapped the mat and down he went.
There is a perfect new moon outside my dark morning window and I have been staring at it trying to articulate what I have learnt here. Obey your instincts. If you feel even the tiniest bit of worry, go and knock on that door. I had had that niggly feeling. Be vigilant about upkeep in the house of your oldie. Check the phones yourself. Adopt a home alone oldie and mind him. Make a list and check it twice. Do not relax or ever think things are going well.
I spent so many hours in the hospital with him to make sure that they were taking him seriously and did not mistake his deafness for dopiness, that when I came out into the light, I was shocked to find that it was three o’clock in the afternoon and time to get back to the barn. I actually thought it was about eleven in the morning!
So at the end of the day I took the camera for a wee walkabout to reconnect. But even though the sun had come out, it was slim pickins’. The good news is that my dairy farmeress has started milking again. So I got some cow colostrum for the lambs ( in case Mama does not have milk straight away -again) I will freeze it in small portions. And soon I can begin to make cheese again. 
The garden is still waiting. 
One of Houdini’s chicks, and yes you are right, this little fella looks like another Rooster, as if I did not have enough of them!
Is this a sign of spring? Um NO.
OK that pic of Ton is not even funny, that is just plain weird! The old Codger loves TonTon ( the dog does the visiting with me) so I guess soon we will be able to test his training in a new environment. Because I WILL find a way to get that dog in to visit the old man. He can pretend to be a therapy dog. Maybe not in the hospital, though the image of me and my grinning fool of a dog being escorted out of the hospital by the security men does make me smile and would make the oldies laugh out loud!! Then purse their lips at such blatant rule breaking.
OK today will be another busy day to-ing and fro-ing. So I am going to be RUNNING!!
Good Morning
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
105 responses to “Be ever vigilant.”
I hope your friend is fine. You are so nice and very kind dear Cecilia. Ton Ton seems happy to play with you… Spring is not here yet. There is snow again. Thank you and my best wishes for your friend, have a nice weekend, with my love, nia
Thank you nia, are you back from your holiday.. and snow again, goodness you have had more than us this year! c
Perhaps it just didn’t seep through your wonderfully descriptive lines, but I’m always set to my back foot when something like this happens to the elderly, many of whom are left for hours on end (days on end even) to their own devices because they refuse help or to ask for it. They are stoic to the end, which if stubbornness were an asset, would make them stinking rich. Many live in their under-heated houses or flats, eating minimal sustenance in order to afford other things more important … I don’t know what the answer is to the way “modern living” views the elderly but I don’t think there’s anything modern or enlightened about how society goes about it. It strikes me that the elderly are often on the periphery of family life and treated as trinkets. And it makes me sad.
I do see what you are saying Miskey, they choose to be very frugal these oldies, yes we have to respect their wishes as we throw out dish after dish of delivered and ignored food.. He says The alternative is being doped up in a retirement facility. Or sitting next to doped up oldies in a retirement home. My Old Codger was in one a year ago and has sworn never to return, yet here he is back on track to such a place, I don’t know how to help him now, we are of to visit him shortly then we will hopefully know more. It is such a conundrum.. c
You are a wonderful friend. May you be blessed always. TonTon is too cute!
thank you Tia, I hope you are going to have a great weekend! c
You are a very good friend and I hope he’s feeling better soon. I love the shot that you captured of TonTon flying through the air and I do think you should sneak him into the hospital! 😉
It would be quite the lark wouldn’t it! he may need a bit of a shampoo first, he smells like a farm dog today.. c
Would probably help him blend in a little more! 🙂
Not the happiest morning news – I hope your friend takes his time and gets better. And I completely agree – intuition is one of the strongest ‘defenses’ we have! I hate it when I feel it, but always obey that nagging worry feeling.
Hmm, too often i think, ok just let me finish this, I will deal with that next etc.. c
Oh Celi, so sorry to hear about your friend – sending a big warm love filled hug to you both. I, after lessons learnt ALWAYS follow my intuition.
Ton Ton looks like he is sitting on an invisible bike and I agree 100% you have to get Ton Ton in to see your old mate – no questions asked.
🙂 Mandy
Wise girl! c
That is wonderful that you watch out for him. After a fall is a very dangerous time for the elderly (but I will refrain from my training manual). Hope he mends without any issues. You can always just ask the residence if pets are allowed to visit. Some places encourage that it’s called the Eden alternative concept. t
The next few days will be difficult for him.. c
I think I’m going to start calling you Saint Cecilia. Nice ring to it, eh? God bless you, just for being YOU.
I am sure people do this stuff every day.. Saint Cecilia was quite an extraordinary story.. c
That is such a sad sorry about your *oldie* how awful to have to lie alone for hours (waiting, praying, hoping ?) for help. Your are a very good neighbour. 😉
I know, he wanted to live alone, refused to move in with his daughter, he just wanted to be independent, so sad.. c
As if I needed any further evidence of what a wonderful and good person you are. Thank you for these lovely beginnings to my day.
So glad you could be there for him, Celi. Most do not realize how important it is to have an advocate for them when hospitalized — and not just for the “oldsters.” Someone to sit with you when the attending physicians make their rounds, to listen & interpret the doctors’ statements, and to insure you’re getting the care you need. I’ve been there, sometimes as advocate, sometimes as patient. What you did for that man, besides offering comfort & compassion, was invaluable.
Thank you John, it is hard for anyone to suddenly become a case in the ER.. with the pain and the fear all mixed in .. c
So sad to hear about your friend…my thoughts will be with him. My father lived alone in his home and it worried me so when he was ill. I totally agree with going with your instincts, I was about to head home after Xmas one year and something made me put my kids on the plane and stay with my dad – he passed away that night.
Wow Lynda, what an amazing story, you really have learnt to obey your instincts.. fantastic.. c
Always trust your instincts…there are one of the most powerful assets given to human beings. Bless you for being a good friend and lending a hand to someone who needed one.
You are all being very kind but i am sure each and every one of you would have done the same thing, this is how things should be.. and you are right about instincts.. c
A good reminder for all of us who have older parents and friends to try and look after. I love the tip about checking everything around the house when you visit for signs of neglect or disrepair and will remember that with my mom. I hope your friend comes through surgery well today and will send positive thoughts his way. TonTon does have a weird smile/grin/about to bite the frisbee look, almost like those funny photoshopped animal smiles! Therapy dogs around here wear canvas blankets with pockets on them..but might take a while to make one of those in your *spare* time!
That is very funny, he does look like he has a photoshopped expression, his mouth looks way too big!! Morning betsy! c
Those oldies can be a bit ornery, can’t they? You are so loving to have waited with him to make sure he was respected and understood. I hope I have someone like you around to see to my crazy behavior when I’m an “oldie” 🙂
My Grandma was 90 when she slipped in my mom’s garage taking out the newspaper while my mom was at work. She knew she had injured herself but crawled back into the house on her hands and knees, somehow got herself into her bed and waited for my mom to return from work…6 hours later. She could have called someone or pushed the Life Alert button around her neck, but did she? Of course not. She thought she just needed “a little rest”, as she called it. That evening we found out that the little “slip” she had taken in the garage had broken her pelvis! I realized that going to the hospital means something entirely different to an “oldie” than it does for us young chicks. They fight it because somehow it symbolizes the beginning of the end.
I love the buds on the ends of the bushes, they remind me of chicken feet! Hope you have a wonderful day and don’t rush too much! 🙂
This is such a great story. And My Old fella was the same about the ambulance. And your Grandma putting herself to bed.. mercy what a tough old woman. Old people can fall, even when you have them living in the house with you, it happens. Lucky for your grandmother that she had someone coming home from work that day.. but you cannot watch them every second, in fact they would prefer you did not, so we must just do the best we can.. c