I went out yesterday morning to milk and discovered that things were not going to be as easy as I had imagined. Daisy was in a fury because I was sharing her baby. She roared into the barn, heaving herself about. Rolling her eyes at me and startling as the chickens woke and fell-flew from their perches. Her feet suddenly seemed enormous and filled the space with their shuffle. Stomping in place as I washed her. 
Minty began bleating at the barn door. The peacock was screeching back. I stood up to grab the dry cloth, Daisy lurched and my sunglasses which were stupidly perched on top of my head as usual, fell to the barn floor and flew into too many pieces to pick up. Daisy seeing her opportunity flicked the tip of her filthy tail straight through my eye. It felt like a blade of razor sharp grass dragged across my eyeball but full of muck. Minty increased her volume to a piercing level and the calf began to low. 
Daisy’s afterbirth still had not come away and was dragging. The cups would not stay on. I set the calf next to Daisy and put my finger in its mouth to keep it still and worked one handed. Soon we righted ourselves and talking gently got everything around the right way, the milk flowed and flowed and my eye throbbed. Daisy strained at her leash and refused to eat. Her body knocking against me and her calf. 
Once we were all untangled Daisy stormed out of the barn and spent most of the day marching up and down the North side of her field. Until I listened to the soft spoken Hairy MacLairy and put them back together. All day I crashed from one job to the next thinking hard, what was I forgetting. Did everyone have water. Why was there no washing on the clothesline. That bed needed weeding. I picked and chopped the cabbages and brocolli plants for the pigs, then lost the garden knife.
I paused to watch Stinky the Second get a moment at the water bowl before the big chickens shoved them out of the way. The day would not flow. I was in a state of flux as we reshuffled the day. I jerked from one thing to the next. I kept losing my camera then finding it in ridiculous places. Bruising myself bumping into things and my brain kept stalling trying to think what I should be doing next. Why did I walk over here. What was I doing. I got the tractor stuck. It got hot then it got hotter. I squinted in the glare and wished for even a part of my sunglasses to wear. I could not find the sprinkler or the hoe. I cleaned and cleaned in the barn trying to eliminate some of the dust and failing. My eye hurt. I glanced into the cardinal’s nest to find that it had been shredded and the bird and her eggs were gone. Just gone. I could have sat on the step and bawled. 
Where had my balance gone. I have taken on too much I thought. I am not going to be able to do this. The pigs needed hosing, they were panting in the heat and the lambs needed water, and the hoses were all the way on the wrong side of the property. The bread needed to go to the second rise. Vegetables needed picking for dinner and soon I would have to milk again. I was not looking forward to that.
Then my teenager came and began to scoop out the pigs pen. What is wrong with your eye, she said. Cows tail, I said. She screwed up her face. Its all red. Damn, I thought.
I went inside to look in the mirror for the first time that day. Red. Half the white of my eye is a glaring red. I watched the teenager’s little head bob past the window as she dragged the hoses around the side of the house, then heard the squeal of delighted Plonkers getting sprayed off on her way past.
Without warning the wind shifted. I could smell honeysuckle. The bees hovered around the tap. The bread started to rise. The cake came out of the oven and the red wine and thyme stew in the crockpot started to fill the house with the scent of dinner.
I took a big breath, filled my buckets with water and went out to milk Daisy. Hairy stood quietly under the tree and watched as Daisy walked into the milking parlour and stood in exactly the right spot. She ate and we talked as I washed her teats, gently pulling a little milk from each. She turned only her head to watch me as I attached the cups the right way round, the suction held and the pump began its click, then we both paused to follow the milk streaming into the bucket.
When there was only a trickle left. I shut off the button and the extensions dropped off her udder easily and were hung on their handy nail hook. She finished up her barley and alfalfa while I washed and dried her chapped legs, once again lifting each leg for me, then I dipped each teat in iodine and unhitched her.
That’ll do boss I said and slapped her on her rump. She turned her vast body in that small space and two gallons lighter, headed out into the late afternoon.
There. I said to myself and set about pouring her milk into bottles for her calf and cleaning my equipment. The barn was empty and quiet. All I could hear was the occassional chuckle from the shush sisters as they tried to entice another chicken into their run, then it became so quiet I fancied I could hear the long-eyelashed slow blink of the new bobbys eyes as he watched me.
On my way back to the house, there was this little fat pig, trying to fit its little fat body onto a saucer of water. His teenager leaning on the barn door watching.
See you tomorrow, she called. Don’t forget you have that wedding to go to. Crap, I thought.
Good morning.
Today will be better. Promise! Except I have to fit in a 3.30 wedding, between chores. I am going to need to find my big French Hang Over sunglasses.
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
109 responses to “The day it all fell apart”
Oh you poor soul, what a day! I think that maybe Hairy was instrumental in bringing calm to the day, what a guy! We’ve had no internet for two days and I just KNEW that I’d miss the birth but I still enjoyed your story and pictures immensely, even though I was late for the event. Congratulations and hope that your eye’s OK.
Christine
Thank you Christine.. it will improve now I think!
It’s good things worked out in the end. You are a very hard worker and I’m sure your animals appreciate it.
I do hope today goes more smoothly for you, and that your eye is better really soon!
Oh my, Celi, what a day you had. Sometimes they just come from no where. Best thing is to stomp and shout and be a girl for 2 seconds. Obviously when no one is watching! lol! Hope your eye gets better. Great read and fab photos. tfs.
Regards Florence xx
As I was reading this, and you are asking your self what to do next, my mind kept imploring, “You are supposed to go wash out your eye. Hope it heals as well as the farmy did. I’m thinking we all need a teenager.”
You should have shouted louder because I just kept on going not realising I had taken such a hit to the eye!.. so it did not get washed out, some tears though is that OK?.. c
I’m sure it is. If it were infected, you’d know pretty quickly.
Ok..well i think we are good then.. in fact i think the swelling and redness have decreased a bit .. I seldom get infections, actually never.. it has been a good 20 something years since I had to go to a doc! Imagine how mad I would have been if i had to break that record! c
I hate days like that. Nothing can go right and then finally the winds shift and things right themselves. Just like you said.
Thank you for your honesty. Mama said there’d be days like this, there’d be days like this Mama said…..The black and whites captured the mood completely. You, like me, have the ability to turn on a dime and with that shift of the wind, things seem better. A saving grace. Have a better day today.
That’s an interesting way to get attention at the wedding; show up with a red bruised eye. Everyobne must have asked you what happened!
I don’t mean to joke about your dreadful day.As I read it I was thinking about what a gripping story it made. I was glued to the screen until the very end. But I was worried about your eye: my concern was that the cornea might have been bruised, and you might have been a candidate for some antibacterial drops. I hope no further symptoms persist.
Better now ronnie, just red, no worries.. c
You’ve got so much going on, Celie!! I would be sneaking into the kitchen for a swallow of wine around 11:35, or 2:14, or….
Don ‘t tempt me. ! c
Oh, Celi. This is the first truly bad day I have heard about from you. You work so hard and strive to keep such a good attitude. I hope your eye heals well and am glad that Daisy settled down after the morning milking.
She was much better this morning .. thank you Sharyn, i am sure that we will all get the hang of it! c
A perfect Murphy’s fighting Occum day. Those are unfortunately quite common for us too. Hope your eye was better by wedding-time.
Please take care of the eye. A combination of potential problems there, because of the trauma, including a risk of iritis, on top of infection. I would get it checked out if you have any persisting symptoms.
Iritis usually develops quickly and generally affects only one eye. Signs and symptoms may include any or all of the following:
Pain in the eye or brow region
Worsened eye pain when exposed to bright light
Reddened eye, especially adjacent to the iris
Small or funny shaped pupil
Blurred vision
Headache
Symptoms of uveitis may include:
Eye redness and irritation
Blurred vision
Eye pain
Increased sensitivity to light
Floating spots before the eyes
Hope you enjoy the wedding
Ok, i think it is alright then, it is just red in one corner and a bit painful right in the inner corner.. and the redness is going down they tell me! Thank you for worrying though.> I am now aware of the symptoms to watch for .. that was kind of you.. c
Pseu: a right Job’s comforter you are!
Celie, I’m so relieved it’s getting better slowly.
forearmed is forewarned. 🙂
My younger son had a tennis ball hard in the eye a year to two back and though no apparent injury at the time this lead to a worrying time with headache and pain then iritis and steroid drops…
So glad there’s an improvement
🙂
A quick rinse with some of the fresh milk would have soothed your eye, good for the skin too! I’m not sure why you have to seperate Daisy and her calf so early on, can he not be out with her in the field and come in at milking time too? Hormones are terrible masters, hope you are feeling better today. Laura
She needs to be out eating fresh grass and I have roving coyotes these last few nights, esp last night something was in with the sheep, I was out in the night bringing them in… so he is in and she comes back and forth.. it works out.. c
Oh no Coyotes … thanks for explaining. Laura
I love how the B & W photos capture the dark mood of your day, and then the switch to color in the last one–that precious piggy in the water and sunshine!–signals things are indeed looking up! I hope today is better, even with the wedding. Take care of the eye.
The wedding will be a very short visit for me!! morning gerry.. c
Oh lord, what a day you had. In Spain they say you stood on your left foot when you got out of bed! Do hope that eye is going to be ok….you must get it checked out as you´ll be no good to any of your beasties if you are “Miss One Eye”. Hope today is better!