I went out yesterday morning to milk and discovered that things were not going to be as easy as I had imagined. Daisy was in a fury because I was sharing her baby. She roared into the barn, heaving herself about. Rolling her eyes at me and startling as the chickens woke and fell-flew from their perches. Her feet suddenly seemed enormous and filled the space with their shuffle. Stomping in place as I washed her. 
Minty began bleating at the barn door. The peacock was screeching back. I stood up to grab the dry cloth, Daisy lurched and my sunglasses which were stupidly perched on top of my head as usual, fell to the barn floor and flew into too many pieces to pick up. Daisy seeing her opportunity flicked the tip of her filthy tail straight through my eye. It felt like a blade of razor sharp grass dragged across my eyeball but full of muck. Minty increased her volume to a piercing level and the calf began to low. 
Daisy’s afterbirth still had not come away and was dragging. The cups would not stay on. I set the calf next to Daisy and put my finger in its mouth to keep it still and worked one handed. Soon we righted ourselves and talking gently got everything around the right way, the milk flowed and flowed and my eye throbbed. Daisy strained at her leash and refused to eat. Her body knocking against me and her calf. 
Once we were all untangled Daisy stormed out of the barn and spent most of the day marching up and down the North side of her field. Until I listened to the soft spoken Hairy MacLairy and put them back together. All day I crashed from one job to the next thinking hard, what was I forgetting. Did everyone have water. Why was there no washing on the clothesline. That bed needed weeding. I picked and chopped the cabbages and brocolli plants for the pigs, then lost the garden knife.
I paused to watch Stinky the Second get a moment at the water bowl before the big chickens shoved them out of the way. The day would not flow. I was in a state of flux as we reshuffled the day. I jerked from one thing to the next. I kept losing my camera then finding it in ridiculous places. Bruising myself bumping into things and my brain kept stalling trying to think what I should be doing next. Why did I walk over here. What was I doing. I got the tractor stuck. It got hot then it got hotter. I squinted in the glare and wished for even a part of my sunglasses to wear. I could not find the sprinkler or the hoe. I cleaned and cleaned in the barn trying to eliminate some of the dust and failing. My eye hurt. I glanced into the cardinal’s nest to find that it had been shredded and the bird and her eggs were gone. Just gone. I could have sat on the step and bawled. 
Where had my balance gone. I have taken on too much I thought. I am not going to be able to do this. The pigs needed hosing, they were panting in the heat and the lambs needed water, and the hoses were all the way on the wrong side of the property. The bread needed to go to the second rise. Vegetables needed picking for dinner and soon I would have to milk again. I was not looking forward to that.
Then my teenager came and began to scoop out the pigs pen. What is wrong with your eye, she said. Cows tail, I said. She screwed up her face. Its all red. Damn, I thought.
I went inside to look in the mirror for the first time that day. Red. Half the white of my eye is a glaring red. I watched the teenager’s little head bob past the window as she dragged the hoses around the side of the house, then heard the squeal of delighted Plonkers getting sprayed off on her way past.
Without warning the wind shifted. I could smell honeysuckle. The bees hovered around the tap. The bread started to rise. The cake came out of the oven and the red wine and thyme stew in the crockpot started to fill the house with the scent of dinner.
I took a big breath, filled my buckets with water and went out to milk Daisy. Hairy stood quietly under the tree and watched as Daisy walked into the milking parlour and stood in exactly the right spot. She ate and we talked as I washed her teats, gently pulling a little milk from each. She turned only her head to watch me as I attached the cups the right way round, the suction held and the pump began its click, then we both paused to follow the milk streaming into the bucket.
When there was only a trickle left. I shut off the button and the extensions dropped off her udder easily and were hung on their handy nail hook. She finished up her barley and alfalfa while I washed and dried her chapped legs, once again lifting each leg for me, then I dipped each teat in iodine and unhitched her.
That’ll do boss I said and slapped her on her rump. She turned her vast body in that small space and two gallons lighter, headed out into the late afternoon.
There. I said to myself and set about pouring her milk into bottles for her calf and cleaning my equipment. The barn was empty and quiet. All I could hear was the occassional chuckle from the shush sisters as they tried to entice another chicken into their run, then it became so quiet I fancied I could hear the long-eyelashed slow blink of the new bobbys eyes as he watched me.
On my way back to the house, there was this little fat pig, trying to fit its little fat body onto a saucer of water. His teenager leaning on the barn door watching.
See you tomorrow, she called. Don’t forget you have that wedding to go to. Crap, I thought.
Good morning.
Today will be better. Promise! Except I have to fit in a 3.30 wedding, between chores. I am going to need to find my big French Hang Over sunglasses.
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
109 responses to “The day it all fell apart”
….my eye is suddenly tearing !!…..a huge breath, and another….lest we take
peacefulness for granted….good on ya for calming yourself. There were
a few times in there I mighta lost my #$%^ ! That new Mom and her tail !
I’d a loved to hear what Bobby was thinking as he witnessed !!!!
So off to the wedding…short and sweet is a great plan. Always works
for me. I probably would get the giggles sitting quietly rethinking the
shenanigans……
Sorry about the cardinals…..geez
I appreciate you more everyday.
Nanster
Celie, how you coped, I’ll never know. You are a right feisty one! Do you remember how you felt after giving birth? I do, vividly – all highs as high heaven and low as hell by turns. I hope you never have another day like that one.
Oh, boy, have I been there and done that. Your eye is the real problem right now. I hope it is doing better. The cardinals…sounds like a nasty raccoon!!!
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
http://deltacountyhistoricalsociety.wordpress.com
Mean thing to do! the eggs are gone too so it may very well be a raccoon, at least the mother got away, Mr and Mrs have been sighted in the trees!
Some days one just has to ride the tumult, knowing that the system will return to the baseline one has created, either because you lead it or sweeping you along with it. But I suspect you have lived that many times and trust the foundations you have laid.
I think I would have sat down and sobbed. I hope your eye is doing better. It sounds like just one of those days that things just don’t seem to go right. I had one of those this week too – granted my eye didn’t get whacked by a cow tail. Here’s to a better day and a nice weekend for you Celi!
I’ve only been gone a short while.. and all hell breaks loose? Who are you and what have you done with my c of indomitable spirit? Who’s calf is that and where did the piglet come from? c.. you’re post bring new meaning to the word comfort food.. perhaps a sliced bit of red meat for that eye would help (or is that just for black eyes?) I’m so delighted to be visiting you again.. and good luck with your wedding!! xoxoxo Smidge
Beautifully written! You have such a way with words. Thank you for sharing the not so romantic side of farming. It is refreshing. (I am sorry it was a crappy day, but thanks for not sweeping it under the hay). I really enjoy reading your posts.
Not the relaxed post I usually have while eating my granola. You are such a good writer. I was there with you, and reading quickly to get to the end–in hopes of a happy ending. I hope that you don’t have too many of those days.
Oh dear, sorry about your eye – I recall that my uncle used to tie up the cow’s tail when he was hand milking…..
* Bath your eye with Boracic Acid (1/4 teaspoon) in a cup of warm water – it’s healing, soothing, antiseptic, and anit-bacterial.
* Just wondering why the calf isn’t nursing from Daisy….?? Aren’t they supposed to for some weeks, then the cow machine milked??
* I’d be concerned if the afterbirth was still not completely expelled…… it could cause infection
It really sounds like the farm has had a new baby with all the brain-fog, busyness, screeching, and fatigue…….oh wait a minute, it has! Remember those ‘newborn baby’ days and treat yourself accordingly….
Have ‘fun’ at the wedding – the critters will be fine Mamma…..
GMom
Morning GMom, Thanks for your questions. The calf had the first day solely with her mother then they both came up to the barn. Dairy cows start being milked within a few days, so she gets into the rhythm of being milked and is properly milked out. They are not like beef cows that only produce enough for their calf. This breed has a lot of milk. They are a dairy breed. She has the calf when she comes up and I feed the calf her milk in between. Daisy has been raised as a house cow. In fact on dairy farms the calf is gone from the scene fairly smartly. We are being much gentler.
This breed can get a badly damaged udder from a head butting calf. I have to say I did not realise this when i started to raise Daisy as I had intended to share. But the vet does not recommend this with an Ayrshire. The calf is just too big. Another reason for my bad day yesterday.
Also In dairy cows it is not unusual for the placenta to take its time detaching, I have been told by the vet not to worry about that for a few days yet. It is always better if it comes away itself. Though I have to say I find it unnerving.
I hope some of this helps. i am sure there are many different ways of doing this but I am going on the advice of the breeder and the vet. In my inexperience I have to lean on them for advice for a wee while.
celi
Thanks for your answers Celi. I’m not a dairy farmer, just an observer……and consumer! lol
GMom
You are very welcome.. the questions often clarify things for me too!
Oh my goodness!!! I hate that feeling when balance is not being achieved. I also hate that feeling of knowing you have to get all fancy to go to a wedding when their are chores to be done 🙂 I just keep telling myself ‘this too shall pass’. Sending good thoughts your way!
yes, i could do without the glad rags today!! There is too much to do.. I think you understand that one.. c
Hugs!!! What a day. It does seem like there has been quite a lot of activity and adjustment going on in the farmy with all the beautiful babies being born and the introduction of the peacocks and the Shush sisters! So exciting for all of us to read about but quite a lot for you to manage. You are doing fantastic though! You actually got a good day out of it in the end. Reminds me of when my own babies were first born. So many ‘variables’ and the only constant was a state of flux. Hang in there! Wishing you some extra helping hands on occasion too!
The state of flux is a dangerous time! Things are getting better though! c
What a day – I am exhausted just reading this post – I hope your eye gets better soon! Happy Saturday:)
On boy, never a dull moment on the Farmy hey! The sore eye will keep you grounded when you go off to a glam wedding ;0) lots of fun, food and tipple but not as much fun as days on the farmy
Another day. Take care of your eye.
There are those days, aren’t there, when all the dots are there but nothing seems to connect. Still, you seem to get more done on a bad day than I do on a good one! I hope your eye gets better.
The dots not meeting is a great way of explaining it!! c