Between feeding the cats on the verandah in the early morning and my return from feeding the animals in the barn, White Cat had an episode that left him paralysed in his whole back half. Some kind of embolism in the spine the Vet said. I forget the word he used. White Cat was lying on the path and called to me quite cheerfully as I returned from the barn. He seemed to be more irritated by his legs not working than anything else. He laid by the fire the rest of the morning, while John groomed him, only crying when John paused. The vet was in surgery and we had to wait. But there was nothing the Vet could do.
White Cat’s name was Apollo. He was a Himalayan. He was famous for having fur on his paws, and consequently a very soft touch. John bought him as a gift for his daughter but as happens with children they leave and the pet stays. I always called him White Cat. Apollo seemed such a weighty name for a fluffy white cat that literally chased butterflies and once caught a cricket, never a mouse and would attempt to come inside trailing tall weeds caught in his too long fur. He and Big Dog were John’s only house mates for years and years before I came to live here. They were his team. At our best guess he would have been about eleven or twelve. 
And when any animal dies on the farmy, or in any household, we must pause. It is as though all their tiny beating hearts become a part of our own hearts rhythm, intertwined somehow, like the bass beat in a loud band, or a repeating brush from a drum, so we need to pause for a while and readjust our own hearts to beating along without them. This what we do, we adjust. 
Now, you remember the rule. A life is a life no matter how long or how short. No matter whether a large animal or a small one. All life deserves to be celebrated. So no crying. No weeping or gnashing of teeth. This is the cycle we take on when we take an animal in. It is hard but that is OK. And you, my darling reader, have also invested in the farmy when you read with me every day like you do, so you deserve to know the truth. I promised I would report the good and the bad. Yesterday was bad. The Vet concluded that Apollo had come to the end of his life as a cat.
I said to the vet, as he was busy with his preparations, stroking and settling the old cat until he began to sleep from his sedative, that this must be a very hard part of his job.
He looked at me gratefully. ” You know,” he said. He was quiet for a while as he swallowed heavy air. “When I was a very young vet I said to myself that this part of the job would get easier as I went along. But it didn’t.” He gently lifted White Cat’s paw to see if he was fully asleep before he began. Then nodding he settled it gently in perfect alignment with the other paw. “It got harder,” he said.
I did wonder at the time of this photograph whether there was some kind of celestial message when the skies opened and the first shaft of light for days and days chose White Cat. But I brushed it off as being fanciful.
Rest in Peace White Cat whose Name Was Apollo. I am fairly sure that is there is such a thing as reincarnation, then White Cat will not come back as a butterfly or a cricket.
Good morning. I am so sorry to bring you bad news. These are always the hardest of posts for you to read. Today I will try again for a Walkabout with the Camera House. So we can see everyone and name them and reassure ourselves. That will be good.
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
79 responses to “A Sad Post about White Cat whose Name Was Apollo”
Well said, Celi. A beautiful post and tribute. Fare thee well, Apollo.
What a grand cat he was.
RIP Apollo. I’m sure he had a happy life on the farm…what more could ask for?
Amen and amen.
My heart gets heavy when I hear of a dear pets death .
I hope you can feel the warmth and support of all of us
As a family we give “white cat” a fond farewell
As a family we sent our warmest hugs to all at the farmy
I can completely feel for you and John. Our big guy came to the end of his days a few weeks ago. Our vet was right there with us tearing up. I can’t imagine that part of their job. That said, she was very much a comfort to us through the process, which was not easy. That was my first time to lose a pet as an adult, therefore my first time witnessing it. It’s quite humbling. I actually thought of you that day and went back to the words you wrote about a life is a life no matter how long or short. It provided comfort and has these past few weeks. I always appreciate your honesty. Sending you virtual hugs today. White Cat was a beauty and your photos always captured his personality.
So sorry, big hugs, just a few tears.
Tears, Celi. What a lovely cat White Cat was. He was the same age as our Siamese, Oliver, and I don’t think of him as an old cat at all. Untimely. So sorry.
Beautifully written tribute. I hope White Cat is off chasing butterflies and crickets, and enjoying the sunshine on his face.
OH, White Cat. Thanks for choosing to be you where needed for so long.
The portrait is an amazing shot – probably not an accident – something left to show his warm spirit is valued.
You know it seems cats seem to linger a bit in spirit to make sure you are comforted and it’s OK – Olde Tiger did.
Peace White Cat – butterflies fly in your honor here today.
A walk around the farmy seems in order.
How sad about Apollo… But he had a good and cheerful life and was very loved at his home on the farmy.
I’m so sorry to read of White Cat. My condolences to you and to John and most of all to Big Dog who has to be feeling the loss deepest of all.
Take care..
So sorry to hear about White Cat…. We went through a similar event with our old white cat,Obi. When he left this world at the vets, I cried my heart out.
I brought him home in the middle if winter and carefully wrapped him, protecting his body, and placed him on the north side of the house in a big shoebox until the ground unthawed in spring. I wanted him to be buried where he was born….
I bet all the Farmy critters know he’s missing. }HUGS{
Gmom
Oh Cinders…what a sad but beautiful tribute to Apollo…Your John, Apollo and all your beloveds on the farmy are so lucky to have you in their lives to offer such gentle, loving comfort in times like this….and for us too….That photo of Apollo is beautiful and yes, I think you are right about that moment when the sun broke through the clouds to shine on him….