I am having a nervous breakdown

The package is still in the hands of DHL in the UK. It was collected from the  Passport office in London only hours after I called. The women there turned it over in record time.


But almost 24 hours later it is still in the UK. The call centre and the screen just say it is at a facility in the Midlands.


Being at a facility sounds like a prison doesn’t it. Has my package been using curse words at its handlers. Shrieking to “hurry up” from inside its box but with expletives and been put on a shelf to “Calm down sir, we cannot get you a seat on the plane until you calm down.”


I am anything but calm. My Darling Travel Agent changed my ticket for an afternoon flight on Friday, it was not a cheap exchange. But I think I may have been a bit optimistic.


The Darling Travel Agent and her husband are taking the train to Chicago today (it is the Fourth of July, the United States is on Holiday) and has told me that she is taking all my info with her. In case we have to change the flight again, she said.  She is a reader too. One of The Fellowship.  What kindness. To pack my things with her things in case she is needed by me while she is on holiday.

My Good Friend  in Chicago is watching the screen ready to snap up the passport when it arrives and drive it out to the airport to meet me on Friday. This is our plan.

Good morning. I feel like I am in one of those suspense filled episodes of a badly scripted sit com. Any minute a voice over will come on saying. “Will the passport ever stop ranting.  Will the passport make the plane. Will The Good Friend’s car get its new wheel in time.  Will Celi’s head explode making a nasty mess all over the barn. Will the piglets find another hole in their pen.  Will Celi ever eat again. Will the  Darling Travel Agent’s phone find coverage from the train. Will Celi ever get to leave the farm? EVER. And why does Boo keep bringing her knickers from the washing basket. Stay tuned for the next Episode of  Mother of the Groom.”

Have a lovely day. Deep breaths.

your breathLess friend, celi

89 Comments on “I am having a nervous breakdown

  1. Oh God – what stress, but now I am humming the theme tune to “Soap”. I just know it will be fine, and what a tale you will have to tell when you are are The Wedding, brushing a little tear from your eye and sipping on a well deserved glass of bubbles 🙂

    • “I Can Heah yoo!”.. and you know me tanya! there will be no sipping, well not the first glass anyway! c

  2. It might be that they don’t update the computer as often as they could…
    Fingers crossed 😉

  3. I am sitting at my kitchen table in Queensland, Australia (it’s 9.30pm). I have been refreshing your blog page for the last hour. I’ve had butterflies in my stomach for you since I first read about the mishap. I so hope the passport makes it in time. I really do. It just has to. Everyone in the chain has worked so hard to make it happen!

    • Oh Mare thank you so much for coming along on this dreadful ride. I know about those butterflies! c

  4. This sounds almost nightmareish… hope all turns out as planned and the passport makes it on time…

  5. Agree with Mad: the updates are not accurate because of the 4th July etc etc . . . OK, you have Darling Travel Agent and Good Friend in Chicago and 1275 +++ loving friends holding everything crossed [obviously turning on from wherever at all times of day and night!] and you are still able to write a sitcom scenario to make US laugh . . . it WILL be alright! At least Boo has a sense of humour 🙂 !

  6. I have a feeling that the computer is not telling you the truth and that the passport is well on it’s way.
    Boo, sweetie, stealing knickers from the laundry is very funny! But maybe your Mom needs a different sort of humor right now. Steal John’s knickers instead.

  7. Just to give you some hope: Last week Hubby ordered new backup batteries for the computers. They arrived the next day. 20 minutes after they landed on my doorstep, he got the SHIPPING conformation that they were in-route…so take heart, Sweetie!
    No Exploding Heads, if you please…quite the mess to clean up after. 🙂

  8. Having had experience of the same facility a few miles down the road from me they do seem to take ages before anything changes then it seems to happen all at once, fingers crossed that this is the case for your passport.

  9. Sounds like you have done all you can, C. May it be a story with a happy ending. Release, breathe, release, breathe.

  10. Think I just heard a grey hair pop out of my head – see I have taken care of the worry so you just sit back and wait for your passport to arrive well within your time constraints – promise!
    🙂 Mandy xo

  11. What stress. What anxiety.

    Keep calm and take deep breaths. Keep yourself as busy as possible (while waiting).

    ……and good luck !

  12. DHL move faster than their screen updates – sleeping for ages then like Dublin buses you get three at a time, often the package has moved a couple of stages while the screen sleeps. You rest and leave the pacing to us!

  13. Good morning Celi ; you did know that they don’t update the where abouts of packages but every twelve hours or is it twenty-four? any ways it ‘s just a waiting game don’t give yourself the strain of the stress ….mike

  14. Turning blue from holding my breath here…but I just know deep down in my heart that you will get there in time for your son’s wedding! You have asked, and the Universe will answer you Cecilia! Here’s a good quote for you today: “A miracle is a reasonable thing to ask for.” Marianne Williamson.

  15. oh no, it was going so good… waiting for the post every day to see what is going on. i really hope everything works out!!

  16. Oh the stress of it all! I am still feeling positive that it is all going to come together—at the last minute. Oh wait–it IS the last minute. Keep us all posted. We are all hanging on with our fingernails.

  17. From previous experience with DHL they don’t seem to update their tracking info as frequently as UPS, who doesn’t update as frequently as FedEx (who in my personal opinion needs to update less often).
    Oh in answer to the burning question of whether the piglets will stop escaping, NOPE. The fun has only begun on that front. Once they get big enough to not hang around momma’s feet all the time, they become Indiana Jones and are off on all sorts of adventures 24/7.
    Keeping positive thoughts on your passport’s trek back to you.

      • Electric wires are the only answer to the piglet problem. We frequently never get it up in time, either, but it’s easier to corral 2 or 3 than your 7!

        • well i hope no-one gets lost before i am back then i am going to electric fence them across the field, so far so good! No-one escaped today.. c

  18. We’ve all got our fingers and toes crossed for you. I’m also sending wishes from the Midlands (almost) so it gets turned around quicker for you this end. 🙂

  19. HI Celi! Of course I’ve still got my fingers crossed for your departure on Friday, but can’t help to think that a Plan B is in order. No doubt you’ve considered that. No matter when you get there the folks will be ecstatic to see you!!! I’m continuing to send positive energies!!!! xoxoxo

  20. Don’t worry about the wheel. It’s a non-issue. You will be on that plane.
    And Boo is bringing you the sneakers because the laundry basket is too big for him to carry to you — for now.

  21. talk about flying by the skin of your teeth! If DHL have promised its arrival at a certain time..then it will arrive..they have a reputation to keep up…..do you remember that song >get me to the chuch on time……I will sing it for you , then you will certainly get there

  22. My Granny used to say … “If ifs and ands were pots and pans … we would all be Gourmet Chefs”.
    Don’t make yourself ill with the stress … it will all pan out the way it is meant to be. However I’m beginning to think of getting very drunk, alone, in front of my screen once that passport arrives.
    Still willing that package along 🙂 Laura

    • I shall open the bottle and join you! well after the flight of course, flying with a hang over is another experience I never want to repeat!! c

      • Cheers! have you thought of sending DHL the Farmy link …. just so that they know of impending nervous break downs, twisted limbs and increased blood pressures they are causing – on an international scale? Laura

  23. Aaaaaargh! The suspense is killing. Maybe you could sell the plot to whoever does the Alfred Hitchcock thing these days!

  24. I’m picturing that passport somewhere over the Atlantic right now (Thursday AM where I am), winging its way to you! We’re all holding you up, Celi, and thinking good thoughts and looking forward to hearing about the wedding (and seeing a photo of you with a glass of bubbly and a big smile on your face)!

  25. Oh Celie, you have all my sympathy and fellow feeling – my head and other bits of me are exploding too. I will tell all at a later date – you have enough to bother about. Why does Boo wear knickers, or shouldn’t I ask?

    Meanwhile, whenever the tension rises, repeat this:

    Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
    and remember what peace there may be in silence.
    As far as possible without surrender
    be on good terms with all persons.
    Speak your truth quietly and clearly

    from Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata

    • Just love that poem! Doesn’t it say something about keeping your head whilst all around are losing theirs??

  26. Truly I believe that neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor slowly updating DHL computers (tis probably on the US end due to holiday), nor wobbly wheels will keep you from this wedding, celi. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Good vibes coming your way…

  27. I have been out of town for several days and am now just catching up on this drama. How horrible and awful and I pray it all works out and you can get to your son’s wedding.

  28. Oh my! What a fiasco! We’re all rooting for the passport: GO PASSPORT GO, GO PASSPORT GO! Get Celi to Canada STAT!!!!
    Fingers crossed: check
    Toes crossed: check
    Legs crossed: oops that was for something else (3 cups of coffee, no less).
    Have you looked into the enhanced drivers license to get into Canada? http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/visit/apply-who.asp
    Then there’s always crawling over the boarder under the cloak of darkness 😉

  29. Wish that bloody passport would hurry up already – my blood pressure ain’t going to take much more of this!!

  30. Oh dear oh dear oh dear. At least you havent lost your sense of humor. Keeping everything crossed for you.

  31. Boo is bringing your knickers to you, to remind you not to forget to pack them for your flight on FRIDAY!!

  32. Too many cows. Too many kids. I read your headline and thought, GIRL, grab some Armagnac. It’s the way of Gascony. No one having any breakdowns here. Keep it real with distilled grapes 🙂 Smooth out the troubles. 🙂

    • Excellent advice,armagnac in my arsenal though I have a couple of bottle of good NZ wine being chilled as we speak! c

  33. I have found that some couriers are notorious about NOT updating! MAGIC thought that the needed passport is in the USA even as I write!!!

    (Oh…the little pigs will not stay in the pens, nope, nadda…but they will never stray far from Mom)


  34. Even with this drama going on, you still have the best sense of humor! I know, if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. I am sending every shred of good juju your way. I think it will work out, but what a toll on your nerves!

  35. I’m keeping my bag packed, cuz I gotta feeling we are all going to a wedding !!
    My mum told me that my eyes would stay crossed if I keep crossing them…I hope she
    was wrong !!

  36. I agree with everyone else here. They are just not updating. The last package I was waiting for on a deadline was here at the door while the tracking still said it was at some big shipping center in Massachusetts.

  37. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. The waiting is the hardest part (sorry I can’t sing it very well…)
    Many times the website updates are actually very far behind ( having faith. having faith)
    Funny, about that Midland location. Here, Midland, TX is waaaaay out west – isolated and in a world all to itself(and everyone wants to go somewhere – but it’s sooooo faaarrrrr away from everything)….your package might as well be there as in the other Midlands.
    Meanwhile, a favor to distract you? Hook, the bellman has a quest he is working on, too ( but yours may be more likely to happen) If you have time pop over to read his post about his daughter. (He’s Canadian, you are going to Canada. He’s got a kid, you’ve got a kid….ooooo eerie). He’d be grateful for any assist/ mention…and comment readers and writers also welcomed.
    You can hop over from my blog if you can’t find Hook’s.
    So I’m wishing on hay wagons for both of you!

  38. Oh, this is a nail biter or a knuckle cracker. Fingers crossed that it’s winging its way to Chicago and will arrive in time.

  39. Celi, I’m sure that all’s well that ends well…keep trusting, and let your blood pressure have a break ! We’ll have it for you… and go well the moment you get the news !!!!

  40. c, I keep popping back here every few hours, hoping for good news, but no updates. I assume it hasn’t arrived today… 😦

    • No it has not arrived today, but i just called the lady at DHL and it is just clearing customs in the UK! We still have time!! and as i keep saying to everyone here, Misky says she absolutely guarantees i will NEVER do this again! still laughing about that c

  41. The time zones are all over the place… it’s early Friday am in Sydney… but still Thursday for you as I comment… there is time! Can we all tackle world peace as a project next, it would be a lot less nerve wracking 😉

  42. I had to check in to see how things are going. Hoping for the best. It still could happen. Fingers crossed, prayers said. Hang in there.

  43. If you can’t BE serene, pretend. Like I do when I ride my horse for the first time in spring – I am calm, you will be calm. Sometimes it even works! Be like a duck, calm, cool and collected above, paddling like hell below.

  44. Deep breaths, prayers and love for you Celi. It reminds me of when I found out just before my wedding many years ago that we didn’t have a licence. I moved heaven and earth and got it in the nick of time. A big learning, and absolutely nerve-wracking. Rules were bent and hands were held. You have so much fabulous support. Hang in there.

  45. It seems that with all the good wishes of the Farmy you could be teleported to the wedding…but then how would you get your luggage there? Crossing fingers and toes for you!

  46. Oh thank God, if it is at Customs it means it is at an airport which hopefully has a flight to Chicago, which means. . . . well, it is not over till the fat lady sings, but I can see her coming onto the stage 🙂 !!!

  47. Fingers, legs, paws still all crossed here – I am sure my cows have legs crossed as they chew the cud and even the chookies have wings crossed (need a little imagination here). Joy

  48. Celi
    Try to hang on
    I said a HUMONGOUS prayer for you tonite
    Don’t know if it will pay off but I just felt the need to ask Him
    Also have all my fingers crossed!!

  49. What a great friend (or friends) you have, to help you on your way. I liked your ending. 🙂

  50. We would love to welcome you to Canadian soil. I’m going to keep watch on the status…may the passport be in your hands as you need!

  51. As is usually my case, I am reading backwards in time, Celi. I am so glad to know that all your head exploding fears never materialized. The wedding looked lovely, and I loved the boots! See you when you return home.

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