My Monsters and I go for a Walk and Wonder about Stuff

The sun is so low that when it does pop out through a crack in the solid grey that is our sky, all our shadows make us look like monsters. Screen left is Boo and screen right is Sheila. Off on our walk.

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Everyone wants to check out the compost heap on the way.

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Off they go. Boo was not a bother so he can come again, said Ton. As they left him behind.

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Without our dear Kupa the hierarchy in the barn has changed –  in the bird population. The roosters  are scaring the pea hens away from the food. Kupa was such an unassuming bird I had no idea that he protected his girls while they ate. So I feed them upstairs.shelves-035

Though they do make a habit of climbing into the pig food bins and eating the oats so I am not too worried. I will need to find them a new male though. It seems they need one for more than one reason.

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Every farmer has an obsession about the weather and with no TV or radio and even though I do check the weather on the computer I was thrilled with MY Christmas present.

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A weather station, it has a gizmo outside on top of the house for telling me wind speed and direction as well. Nothing dramatic yesterday, just bloody cold. (-8.5C). Of course now I am studying barometric pressure.

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My ice champagne ice bucket waiting for New Years!..No threat of it melting.

I had a few thoughts yesterday. Some things I would like to see in the New Year.

WHAT IF they designed a movie theatre that had three screens, one in front and one on either side, you would need to shoot the movie with three different cameras simultaneously from three different Points of View  but it would be pretty cool as a viewer,  we would be right inside the movie, and if they were all 3D, that would be exciting – unless it was a horror movie then it would be horrible.

WHAT IF  the supermarket aisles could read your grocery list or your grocery thoughts (some people like me forget to take their lists)   and when you start looking for, oh  – avocado oil, the sign in that aisle immediately changes to avocado oil, raising itself up and down gently to attract your attention. But only you could see it because the guy next to you is looking for quail eggs or hard wood floor cleaner or a life.

WHAT IF dishwashers were at waist level so you don’t have to bend down to load them and you didn’t have to rinse the dishes clean first covering the floor and your feet in water because you are working too fast because you HATE doing dishes.

WHAT IF houses had those sucky vacuum shutes, like they had in old department stores,  in every single room and you opened a little hatch and shoved your laundry in there and woosh it was sucked straight to the machine. And another sucky thing on the wall that just sucked all the dust up.

WHAT IF the lights in your house had batteries. So you could hang them from anywhere and they did not need wires.

WHAT IF you could just throw all your devices in a pile in a special corner of the house  or a special box in your car and they were wirelessly recharged. Without plugging in. So you could not lose your charger because you did not need one. You could park your light batteries here too to charge up. Plus possibly a brain or two, I know a number of brains that need a recharge, though I would rather not take my brain out of my head to be charged up ..that sounds a wee bit messy, it might be easier if I sit in the corner with all the other devices as well.

WHAT IF you had a special button on the wall that when you pushed it your cell phone calls out to you – I am over HERE! with flashing lights and wee oo wee oo noises. And one for the car keys too.

WHAT IF you could push another button and the entire wall of your bathroom raises up like a garage door (the one with the bath not the one with the toilet. That would be a mean trick to raise the wall up in  the toilet when someone is sitting on the toilet just minding their own business and thinking about nothing much and then there is a click and a whir and the wall begins to roll up.  I think that would be rude)  and when the wall is raised you can wash the whole bathroom out with the hose then let it dry in the sun, but not today as it is too cold. Everything turns to ice so fast in the cold, the dogs have a drink out of their heated water dish and the drips from their mouths freeze onto the verandah floor and stay there. Daisy has icicles.  Imagine what a hose in your bathroom would do.

WHAT IF they had bed units in airports that you can rent for an hour or even two when your plane was held up or you are between flights. Lined up along one wall like lockers. Just a box with a bed and a door that locked and an alarm that you can set.  And a little lady at a desk saying mind you are out at 5 exactly or you will  be charged for an extra hour and no friends, this is a clean establishment. You could take in your own water and a book.

WHAT IF it was a fashion to have 3 foot high hair-do’s, like the French in the 1700’s, with bird  cages in them, how would we fit into our cars?  We would be walking about the supermarket with our hair getting stuck in stuff.  They would have to have extra staff with long sticks to help you get free. How would I wear my beanie?

WHAT IF women went bald, really bald – like men do, would there still be comb-overs? Were there ever comb-overs, I find it hard to believe.

WHAT IF my eyes were green, not pale blue, would I be a different kind of person?

WHAT IF cats could read your minds and there was nothing to read. You were having one of those perfectly innocent blank moments. Would they feel superior? Do they already?

Do you ever wonder about stuff like that?

May your New Year be full of glory and joy, to help you through the hard bits. There will be hard bits.  Life is like a drain, sometimes it gets stopped up with hard bits. Joy is like an orange plunger or a wire brush, it makes things sparkly clean. So I wish you lots of joyful times. But we will be OK you and I, we have The Fellowship –  and we are all wearing rubber gloves and wielding plungers. And laughing like drains!

Love your friend on the little farmy

celi

78 Comments on “My Monsters and I go for a Walk and Wonder about Stuff

  1. Warn those roosters about time out ‘in the pot’ 🙂 Not sure which I like more – the ice bucket or the weather station. Very happy New Year and a productive and fruitful 2014 on the farmy. Laura

  2. I have an answer for your comb-overs question, and the answer is YES! When I was on chemo, and totally bald for about 3 months, there were ladies who lost their hair more slowly, and had big bald patches, and they totally did comb-overs instead of shaving the lot. Can’t understand it…. It looks worse, if anything, on a woman, because the rest of the hair is longer than on a man. Happy New Year, dear Celi, to you, Our John, and the whole darling menagerie.

    • I so agree with Julie, Celi!!! You and your blog are a tonic!!! You make me laugh so often, and I carry your stories and advice throughout the days, and also make some yummy food from your recipes! 🙂 Wishing you, Julie and all of the Fellowship of the Farmy the Happiest of All New Years!!! xoxoxo

  3. Got my rubber gloves on here (a bit difficult to type in them 🙂 )
    Happy New Year to you, Celi, and to Our John, and all the Fellowship Folks!! “Cheers”

  4. Where on earth did you get all l those weird What if, ideas?…actually if dishwashers were put on a table you would not need to bend down,….why is it always so dark in there..maybe putting a light inside would be good.
    I loved your ideas, maybe one day some brilliant brain will put them into operation. I also loved the long shadows..really quite spooky!
    I think it will be good to find the peahens a mate..they must miss Kupa just like the rest of us..
    Did you buy your own present of a weather station? A verygood idea seeing as how you are so far out in the country….
    I really hope that 2014 will be a great year for everyone but especially for you dear friend. May your chickens lay many eggs and your corn grow tall and plentiful…love P

    • Mike, I hate to admit it but an average flight home to NZ is 11 hours, next time I am going to melbourne (18 hours) – if someone offered me a coffin to sleep in between flights – I would say thank you very much, take of my boots and lay my head down! Though i would like a mattress in mine please! They are not as comfy as they look, those coffins.. c

  5. Even though I am one of those silent passer-by sort of visitors to this blog as my farmy is mostly a suburban back yard I so enjoy my morning reads of the goings-on in your world. Looking forward to 2014!

  6. I would love a weather station like that, but I don’t suppose the landlord would be happy with us putting a widget on the roof.

    I love your what-if list, and can solve the dishwasher one for you: at our last house but one, I designed the kitchen so that the dishwasher was installed in a unit on top of a useful deep drawer to keep the dishwasher supplies in, with a work top on top at about my head height, where you can put stuff while you load the washer. It was up against the wall one end and near the sink at the other. Our dishwasher came with instructions that pre-rinsing was a waste of time (inutile in French).

    I wonder how the peahens will welcome a new male.

    Lovely post as usua, you aways cheer me up.
    Love,
    ViV

  7. You are on fine fooling fun Miss C, my that brain has been whirring! My favourite photo is the monster photo – a classic. And as I have green eyes I’m now wondering if I would be a different Claire if they were blue let alone one of each!! Yikes and Crikey!!!

  8. Love your “What If”s!! Here’s one I always think of when I am driving behind (or a driver is coming the other way) and can’t seem to keep to their side of the road – What If the solid yellow line in the middle of the road was like that toy you had as a kid that you had to pass a looped pole over the wire, and every time you touched the wire a buzzer went off. Only if the car went over the yellow line the driver got a mild electric shock?
    Another one for drivers – What if the car wouldn’t turn a corner or make a turn (especially left)if you hadn’t indicated in plenty of time your intentions?
    Love your weather centre, need to get me one of them! I am paranoid about the weather, but then I think every gardener/farmer is. Helps us to plan things and be somewhat pro-active instead of re-active!
    Hugs Lyn

  9. Well you can get a whole house vaccuum system. There are portals in the wall in each room/area to attach the hose. The long hose is a pain to lug around and store. I imagine they have improved a lot since the 70’s, which is my most recent experience with one. My best friend had one in her house and we had fun as kids playing that it was a giant snake. The lastest upgrade that I just discovered is that you can have a kick plate installed in the floor and just sweep your debris right into the system. That would be lovely.
    I think laundry chutes should make a come back. I’ve lived in 2 old houses with them and I liked them. Bonus points if they can return the clean laundry to its proper room.
    If you design a locater device for the phone and keys I will buy one. My location devices (kids) will all be gone from home soon and I will be stuck at home because I won’t be able to locate the phone to call anyone or keys to go any where. ;o)
    I have often wished for a bathroom that could be sealed and cleaned/disinfected with a high pressure water system, especially after we have contracted a stomach bug.
    The shadow photo reminds me of a folk art painting. It is amazing that you can take Sheila for walks and she doesn’t wander away.
    Have a Happy New Year.

  10. That monster photo is crazy GREAT!! Oooh, and I would love to have a sucky dust machine. I hate dusting the most of anything! Happy New Year Celi! Thank you for making my morning cup of coffee so enjoyable. I try every morning to visit the farmy before setting out for the day. You ROCK, my friend!!

  11. Celi, I delight in your blog. So glad I joined your followers. I click on your email notification with anticipation … What wil Celi have to say today? Today’s post makes me think of “I have a little shadow that goes in and out with me and what can be the use of him is more than I can see….” Delightful, and what a great image you posted. Tim and I sit on our kitchen bench in the morning, now part of my routine is reading your post. He isn’t willing to consider walking pigs, a herd of 10 sows might be a bit unruly. We will have to live vicariously. Today our bench sitting witnessed a shark shinned hawk come diving in to grab one of the doves feeding at the bird feeder. Junkos, and sparrows scattered and feathers floated. Life and death on the farm. Makes me sad and question my new bird feeders that I love so much. I have lived here 33 years and never witnessed a hawk grab a dove but I have never fed birds until last spring. Conundrum.

    Thanks for your words and pictures and all the very best in 2014.

    • Walking a herd of sows would make a humurous picture, but I think it would only work with one. When I had two they raced off together and the whole thing was a disaster. It is an interesting conundrum, the birds, though I guess you fed a hawk? as well. They are useful birds for keeping mice and rabbits down, maybe you could make a little sign for the doves.’Keep one eye on the SKY’.. c!

  12. It makes me cold to look at your Christmas present…brrr. I’m not so sure about the French 1700’s hairdos, but the ’60’s beehives might be fun…though hairspray isn’t my favorite thing. May 2014 bring you and all of yours way more sparkly clean moments of joy and happiness than the hard bits, miss C.

  13. I’m also fixated on weather, and have a weather station nearly as detailed as yours. Love it to bits. What if Light: have those in the closet. Cats already believe they can reads minds, and have fooled themselves into also believing that humans are empty-headed. This is why they’re so uppity. This is also why I’m a dog-person. Mobile Phone: just ring its number with your landline, so you can hear it ringing. Sucky-Uppy thing: You’d still have to empty the sucker-upper. Just open the front and back doors, and let the dust blow out.

    Happy New Year, my darling!

  14. What if we could blink, think and be transported to a friend’s house for a chat – then blink and return home. Guess this is the next best thing.
    Love your New Year’s ice bucket.
    It’s very chilly here today – and the furry dogs are wild with the joy of it playing hide and seek in the bushes
    Hope the new year is bright and wonderful for all of the farmy!

  15. I always look forward to your posts and get my vicarious dose of country living while looking out the window at the city center here in Long Beach, CA, along with regular emotional jolts because your writing does that. I laughed aloud at the guy in the supermarket! And, yes, my mind wanders and muses just like that but how in the heck did you manage to recall them all once you got back to your computer? Mine flee almost as quickly as they arrive!

    Happy New Year and Bon Courage for 2014 to you and yours and The Fellowship!

  16. Oh.. my goodness, if only a few of your What If’s could come true we’d have a much easier world to live in! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and wishing you the Happiest New Year and a fantastic 2014!! xx

  17. Okay, some responses:
    1) I think you could patent some of these ideas. All you have to do is find the time to implement them!
    2) Cats *do* read our minds, didn’t you know that? : )
    3) I have green eyes. What does that tell you? (Not very different, I think, in spite of our different paths.)
    4) That comment about women going bald I shall not address. It’s a great fear of mine. (My poor little grandmother lost almost all her hair, probably because of too many meds over the years. She hated it.)

    Happiness and joy to you, too, my friend. I love your analogy about the hard bits that clog things up. So true. Keeping the joy and recognizing it when it comes, even when it’s in “small bits,” too, is so important. Peace.

  18. Love your weather station. I have become a weather fan due to the nature of our twice a year tornado seasons.(alabama) I need one of those. Your “what-ifs” bring to mind one of my favorite writers,Ray Bradbury. Stay warm and have a very Happy New Year! While I know the cold is needed I am so looking forward to spring. The fact that my seed catalogs are starting to come in is giving me that urge,to you know plant things…Cant resist: See ya’ll next year. 🙂

  19. Love your What Ifs–a few already have been invented! 🙂 I so appreciate your blog and really look forward to reading your words every day. I’m not sure why you (and many others) chose icy cold Illinois to have a farm when you could be so much more comfortable out here in Northern California where you wouldn’t have to battle the weather ;), but regardless, I love hearing about every little thing happening out there on the farmy. Only best wishes to you and yours for the New Year.

  20. Holey Buckets!!!! All those thoughts so early in the day????? 😀 Great photos! Love the monsters!!! 🙂 Cold at your place too I see! Brrrrr…….I’ll ponder them!!! 😉
    We had a serious train derailment in our area. 25 miles from our farm. A train carrying grain derailed and caused a train coming in the opposite direction and carrying crude oil to jump the tracks resulting in a huge explosion with a giant mushroom cloud!!! 100 feet it exploded into the air. Huge flames and black smoke covering the area in toxic fumes. People evacuated to the city and can’t return to their homes. Terrible way to start the new year.
    I wish that the wind would come from the east. There is open land for miles and no homes.
    And it is freezing…feels like 30 below! I feel for the emergency and hazmat workers too…really bad conditions.
    Hope everyone else has a Happy New Year and God Bless all of you!!!! Be safe if you are going out and if home? I pray that you are comfy cozy!!!

    • Saw that on the news Mere – looked bad! Hope everyone gets to go home soon. Feeling for all those people without power too – must be really miserable to be so cold!

      • Thanks Lyn. When it is people you know and do business with it is so close to home.
        Terrible times for people in different places. I hope no one here has felt or in the future never feel the brunt of something like this. Severe weather is bad enough! Sooner or later it does affect all of us at some time in our lives…
        The nursing home has been on my mind and also the veterinary clinic.
        Here’s to better times for everyone!!!

        • Oh you poor thing, that kind of cold makes you feel so hunched over, and that amount of oil tearing through your tow at speed ! goodness.. take care mere.. c

  21. Actually, they already have those snooze rooms in some airports. I say it on a TV program, once. Love your weather station. It always seems colder when I know the temps than when I don’t know. Does that make sense? And yes, cats always read our minds. Wonderful post again, Celi. Happy New Year. Oh, and I want a kitchen that can be hosed down, too.

  22. Your mind is a marvel! And so full of energy! I love that…you’re ideas are great. Especially the bathroom wall that raises up and lets you just hose everything down for a good dry in the sun. Love it all. And, thank you very much for comparing me and us all to a laughing drain! I feel happier and laugher already! Have a wonderful wonderful New Year, despite the difficult cloggy bits. I know you will.

    • I may actually do the bathroom wall, now that i think about it, if I can find a roller door small enough, and if you are having a shower but just want air you can raise it just a little! I think I might! c

  23. I’ve always wanted a house which you could hose down, and having moved 17 times in 28 years, I think rubber furniture the way to go, but in use, might have too much bounce for my multiple ounces. I always think carpets should have hands that come out at night and self clean the floor. My what if’s don’t end; glorious to imagine isn’t it; love the shadow portraits of you and Boo and Sheila; enchanting.

  24. Pingback: Of walking, webs, halos and sticks | The Daily Cure

  25. The “What-ifs” have opened a Pandora’s box. Lar and I have been drinking our Earl Gray tea and adding “what-ifs” to a list. Then sad things crept in and we decided Celi’s “what-if” list was more entertaining and whimsical. We did like one thing on our list ..”what if we found that the Chicago connection found that Lar was third cousin twice removed from John. Hurrah!! We would be related. A glorious and wonderful 2014 to all on The Farm. XX. V.

  26. I am doubled up here and it is all your fault Celi! Three foot hairdos! Add to that the exceptionally high stilettos that are the modern fashion? Love your good wishes for the year ahead and my wish for you is Health and contentment for all at the farmy!

  27. As distorted as her shadow is, Sheila is so much larger in “real”“` life. She’s sweet as can be but she’s huge, Celi! Interesting that Kupa played guardian and you didn’t know it. I guess the best security is always undetectable. Everyone is talking about the snow but I think the worst of it will hit north of the City — and that’s fine with me. I hope you’re spared, too.
    Wishing You, Your John, and The Matriarch a Happy New Year and Wonderful 2014!

  28. I have never seen such creativity. Albeit with minor symptoms of ADD & hyper-manic thinking. I like your way of thinking – delightful & functional at the same time. Many of your “What Ifs” do exist with some minor changes. The big exception may be the bathroom wall that opens like a garage door. You might still be able to get a patent on that one. I never thought of wearing a brid cage in 3 ftl high hair. Texas might be the best place to test that out. Those Texas ladies still love a bee hive doo.
    Love the monster shadows. Very artsey fartsey. Woth entering in a photography contest in my useless opinion.
    I wonder what other tasks Kuppa had taken on? Guarding the pea hens while they dined was such a gentlemanly thing to do.
    Hopefully Owl has been unburdened from his Christmas tree duties by now, I am deconstructing my tree as this afternoon. Time for some decluttering & a carload of stiff taken to Goodwill before the clock strikes midnight.
    I hope 2014 brings you everything you need, some of what you want & a few good surprises along the way. I wish you good health, well behaved animals, lots of reasons to laugh & that you find time to enjoy your beautiful guest house for a while.

    • Thank you ellen, hope you got to goodwill in time, I love ditching stuff that i do not need.. so liberating, and what a wonderful idea to do it today of all days. owl is still wearing his scarfie. it is a bit chilly.. have a great New year.. c

  29. Hello from where 2014 is some 11 hours old and counting 🙂 ! Hmm, love your weather station as have been a ‘weather nut’ since age 3 [well, that was darling Dad’s biggest interest!]. Have one too!! Love the shadow photo, very artsy-craftsy and have ‘borrowed’ it 🙂 ! Love all those ideas, but quite a few of them ARE already there! The three screens cinema I first saw decades ago; many people I know have dishwashers at midlevel [hate to admit have to wash by hand in my small kitchen!] and there are bed cubicles by the hour in quite a few airports – I know Narita has them 🙂 ! And when I lift a glass for lunch on a beautiful 1st here in an hour or two, shall send my best wishes for a far less complicated and very happy 2014 to you!!

  30. I so needed to read your wonderfully weird blog tonight after having a “bit” of my own today with a wee car accident while on vacation. The good thing is it is a rental car so not our worry! And since we were not at fault really not our worry! Your ponderings got me to thinking—why don’t we have dishwashers that automatically unload, dryers that automatically fold clothes and toilets that are self cleaning. Oh in the perfect world. Happy New Year!

    • Oh self cleaning toilets! i want one of those too! So glad you are all safe and retaining your sense of humour after a fender bender, it gives you a terrible fright doesn’t it.. a nice hot cup of tea, with a little sugar, thats what my Mum would recommend.. hope tomorrow is better! c

  31. my dream house has drains in cement floors,plastic furniture, and sprinklrers in the ceiling to clean house for me

    don’t forget the old wv superstition, burn your old calenders before midnite, so the bad luck from 2013 wont follow into the new year

  32. Your what-ifs really do make so much sense. My pet peeve is getting up at night having so many little green lights, the clock on the coffe pot, stove, etc. lighting my way. Ugh!
    Thank you for such a great year of sharing your daily life. So enjoy your stories and pictures. Happy New Year!

  33. You have some wonderful ideas. I especially liked hosing out the bathroom, but I want one of those in the kitchen, too. The cell phone/keys locater is a definite winner. I would like more options on the vacuum shoot, to be able to use it to return things to the original room from which they came.

  34. Your imagination is amazing! I had fun imagining along with you. Happy new year!

  35. Happy New Year dear Cecilia and my best wishes for you, for your family and also for your amazing world of farm. Thank you, love, nia

  36. Absolutely bloody brilliant – it all made perfect sense to me. They do have beds like that in Singapore airport (and showers too!), and I have green eyes so that got me thinking. And how about changing rooms in public swimming baths that have a chute to woosh you straight into the pool so you don’t have to do the wibbly wobbly walk of shame to the pool?!

  37. Here is to a Happy and Healthy 2014 for not only us humans but the animals that fill our hearts and homes and farms.
    Much love from NH
    Happy 2014!

  38. Wishing you and the farmy a happy and healthy New Year. We are heading into 2014 with record temps in some parts of Aussie – the Pink Roadhouse in Oodnadatta was expecting well over 50C and one town in S.A. was over 48C. We have been told to expect a very hot and dry year so I think the spider that is settling in inside the rain gauge is pretty safe – and the goldens have a favourite spot on the concrete pathway where there is a breeze from under the house. Its hotter when you have fur!! Joy

    • Morning Joy, oh dear, you are dreadfully hot, do you spend time down in your bush when it is like this or is it not dense enough to hod some cool.. that is 122F .. terribly hot.. c

      • Living up on the ridge means we often get N.E. breezes in the afternoon so until then we close up the house and whilst it is in the low 30’sC we often find a shady place and do a spot of clearing. With so much land there is always somewhere shady that needs weeding and the main ones we have, crofton weed and lantana, can be pulled at the roots when its so dry like now. Very therapeutic. Less weeds, more grass (rain permitting) and happy cows 🙂

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