Last night, as I took a quick shot of the sunset then raced back to the house to finish all the work in there that was piling up-
I made a Decision.
It is always important to look at your objectives and then re-evaluate and make a decision. So let’s do that.
a) Have I achieved the objectives so far.?
b) Have I achieved the best I can do.?
c) Is this the lifestyle that I want?
d) Am I Trusting the Monster?
So here is the equation using The Book as an example.
a) I wanted to get the Letters for my Little Sister collected and bound and out to all the writers – with a few copies for all the families in my family. I wanted to make a book to give to my Little Sister in October. DONE
b) Have I done the best I can do. YES. Within my objective YES. Unless I change my objective and PUSH hard to find more buyers and more readers and make this go viral. Then No. Do I want that? Actually I don’t care. I am a small group person. You are my small group. I am happy with us all having a book each. (However that is not to say that someone else may want to step up and promote the book into the cosmos – that would be fine too)
c) Is the last few weeks the lifestyle I want? Not really. It is too pressured for me. I am very, very overwhelmed. I do not like that feeling of chasing after my life. Animals always suffer when I get overwhelmed. I would rather be farming, travelling, blogging and announcing the next book for us in The Fellowship series and writing the children’s book that has been neglected. I had more fun writing and collating. I want to lean on a gate and watch the pigs.
I have been spending hours a day on this, money (from my trip savings), and making myself miserable trying to sell this book PAST my objective. Every single one of our first two hundred books went to someone I know with no trouble at all. Surely that is a good thing. I have achieved what I set out to achieve. More than that is a wonderful surprise and should not be a horrible slog.
d) Trust the Monster. When we create something worthy and wonderful and deep like this it awakens A Monster of action. I always find it hard to describe my Monster, but I have worked alongside her often. The Monster moves at the appropriate pace and, if set free, will begin to drive the action with her considerable weight and plodding, gentle, steely gait The book is out. Many of you are reading it right now. It is a very good book. Many of you will recommend it to your friends and readers, write reviews, generally do what I have been doing. The Monster is awakening and will soon stretch her strong girly fingernails and big feet into the arena. I need to trust you and The Monster. It is actually a little arrogant to think I have to take all this on myself. We are The Fellowship after all. We will make sure that whoever needs a copy gets one.
So I am going to take a step back. I will not blather on about it here anymore. As the reviews build and as the readers begin to talk to each other sales will build or Not. I need to settle down and trust The Monster. There are 100 more books arriving next week. The postmistress will handle sales while I am away. And I have given myself back Time. Time to work, farm, write, plot and travel. Time. Thank you for encouraging me to do so, darlings. I need to go up to the loft and find my suitcase and give myself the Time to start looking forward to my children.
I don’t want to give up talking to you in the comments lounge. I don’t want to give up reading and writing and sitting in the field with the calves. A slow trickle of sales would suit me better. I do not want to become the Avon lady at the dinner party.
And I have hay to bale before the rain. And it is clouding over. Tima is calling to me. And Boo is in full wriggle mode waiting for me to POST and get the Hell out of the House!
Thank you all. The Monster is rumbling awake, I am going to let The Monster handle it, let’s keep talking and sharing and see what happens next.
Much love
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
52 responses to “A D-cision”
I like the sound of your Monster. I think I’d prefer to have her on my side than on the other side…. Your book is now a young adult. Time to set it free to make its own way in the world, to stand or fall on its own merits. Like all empty nesters, you can now devote all the care and attention you were giving it to something new. Time to sit in a rocking chair and admire the view. Time to smell the roses. Time to travel and have Fun.
Perfect solution. Every thing BIG started small at one time. And many grew slowly because there was a need. Your book fills a need. Let the fellowship do it’s work. Hugs and wishes for a beautiful day!
A fantastic achievement is how I see the Project: Book. We must do what makes us happy, but when it pulls us from what truly makes the heart sing, it’s time to let it go! You done good, Celi.
Ke Sera Sera – what will be will be – remember that very old song? You have nurtured the book, breathed life into it and sent it out into the world. You need to sit back and enjoy the results and not become a slave to it! Besides I would much rather be out in the fields with the calves, taking Sheila and Tima for walks or gardening – hmm maybe we need to put a word out for an agent to handle all the admin for you 🙂 Stop stressing about the book and enjoy your weekend 🙂 Laura
The Monster will not be allowed to become an Incubus to Celie! The Fellowship will do its stuff, as only a group of determined friends can, with reviews and blogs and word of mouth. Sit back, Celie and enjoy the fruits of your labours.
love,
ViV x
Good morning! I have my own monster and her name is NOT ENOUGH, DO MORE!!, not quite as benevolent. Sometimes, I tell her to shut up and leave me be and if I had a cellar, that is where I would put her for a while.
My book arrived and and I am so enjoying it. It is such an honest work of all of us and makes me want to hug each and everyone of you. I laughed and cried while reading it and nodded my head over and over again. We are so different, but the same. Many of the things you have written about happened to me too and I thought I was the only one, that I wasn’t handing the M word well, that I wasn’t doing enough, that I must be defective in some way. Not true at all tho, is it? YAY! Thank you C and thank you Fellowship women. We all shared our experience, strength and hope with C and now it is out there for others to read and gain comfort, strength and hope.
Now we must pull together and get it sold. There is strength is numbers and we are mighty. I have only a small number of Facebook friends, but I will do my part and talk it up, share the link on Amazon, etc. We will get it done because if we can get through menopause, we can do this. I’m not normally a cheerleader type person, but this is important and we can do this! Be well all.
Thank you Kim .. it really is such a unique book, I am thrilled you loved it and thank you so much for undertaking to spread the word.. But most of all isn’t it great to take this subject out of the cupboard and give it a good shake.. talking about this is what is most important to us as women, to our girls and to the men. We need to know that we are OK and we are wonderful. Drive carefully.. c
and thank you for your review on Amazon, Kim. Most excellent. And NOW.. I need coffee! c
Makes perfect sense to me. Perfect sense. I have this feeling that the word of mouth, the sharing, the giveaways by The Fellowship members and all that goes with it will actually put legs to the wonderful book. I am thrilled to be able to share such a wonderful collection and so happy to have been able to be a part of it. It has inspired me to go forth. 🙂 And your farmy needs you and now you need to just enjoy being with your farm friends. 🙂
And don’t forget the writing on your memoir Celi, when the time is right. That will be a wonderful book! xo
I admire the way you take stock and settle into a decision, Celi. Wish we could bottle your wisdom and distribute it widely.
Your honest voice is such a treasure and I’m so inspired by this post, for the endeavor and for your awesome attitude about accomplishing it. Thank you for all you do in your world and in the collective realm…truly a blessing.
So many of us seem to have a need to allow other things to run away with our life, making us overwhelmed and so much less effective than had we simply sat back and let things be as they were destined to be. Perhaps this comes back to the social place of women in general-being everything for everyone and loosing oneself in the process. I applaud you Celi, as you regain yourself and your joy.
My book arrived yesterday, and it is a wonderful thing you’ve done, Celi. Thank you so much. I meant to order two (which is what I preordered, so to speak), but got so excited that I only ordered one. Now I’m reading and thinking about ordering more. Wonderful decisions. I think leaning on a gate and watching a pig sounds much more peaceful and fun than promoting and marketing. I suspect the book is going to market itself as time goes on, hopefully in the trickle you want.
Morning robin and thank you so much for the kind words. There is another one here for you whenever you want to order it. Amazon makes it very easy for me to manage. Once i have the decks cleared things will feel a lot easier to manage..I am sure.. c
One of the things I love and admire about you is your critical thinking. You can boil things down to their essence, honestly evaluate them and then, most impressively, make a decision. I learn quite a bit from you. While I’m not where I want to be yet, I’m soaking in the lessons and they are slowly taking root. I think you’ve created a beautiful thing with your book, but more importantly your life. Enjoy the animals and the hay today.
This time of the year, farm life puts us in a pinch. There’s prep work to do so our chores won’t be so onerous in bad weather, and the days are getting shorter. That puts us in the house earlier, facing chores and thoughts beyond animal care. In the winter we can snuggle down and just get comfortable. Right now it always seems like we need to be doing more. I hope, first, that your hay gets in. I don’t raise hay anymore, it involves too much anguish. Now I just worry along with the neighbor about his fields, and buy it from him. Second, I hope you find plenty of time just to enjoy yourself. Yesterday I got to sit on a stool in a pen full of show cockerels for almost an hour. We had a wonderful conversation and, unlike most of my communication with people, they didn’t ask me to take on more work. I can’t wait for show season to start, the birds and I become good travel buddies when we hit the road. Bless.
That sounds just lovely, yes, while I worry about the rain i am going to go out and watch the two big cows for a while, someone is in heat i think.. so they need observing.. poppy is in Standing heat and has had to go into full lock down as she is breaking out every five minutes looking or a bloke.. and yes i am more than happy to be back on the farm so to speak. Though i will still merrily get the books in their bags and out a couple of times a week, but no more tearing about! have a lovely show season! c
This is such a problem–the schism between being creative in the sense of birthing a book, a unique creature–and the creativity that goes into marketing such a creation. Sadly, these talents don’t seem to be the same. In this world the writer is forced to be a promoter, the two temperaments could not be further apart. Just my opinion.