Against all the odds, and rattling like an old train when he drinks (antibiotics are not helping him – they seldom do help such young bony animals) The Little Bobby is still alive.
Yesterday afternoon I shifted him into the small pen close by my bedroom window and gave him small sips of colostrum (I have jars of frozen colostrum in my freezer) . This is the last weapon in my arsenal.
He is by far the worst affected because of his small size but he continues to fight (he came in weighing 58 pounds and the man said no-one else bid on him at the sale because of it). His diarrhea continues unabated and he suffers silently and stoically.
I brought him into this outside pen close to the house (with a little hut) so he could die outdoors. but stay isolaated from the other animals, having a sick animal on the farm terrifies me. But I feel strongly that animals, when they die, and we all will, need to be able to breathe clean air and see the stars.
Not die in a nasty dark corner of the barn surrounded in flies.
This is what I would want for myself. To die inside would be hell for me and my children and my husband have been instructed that if we have the chance and the choice to carry me outside or at the very least make sure there is an open window close to me. And never, never let me die in a hospital.
Goodness I am maudlin this morning. But we should all make these decisions and leave instructions with our kin, just in case.
But the animals cannot choose so I choose for them and even though the Little Bobby has battled on this long and I will continue to battle with him, if he is to die today, at least he is lying under a tree wearing his warm jacket until the sun comes up, with cats in the branches and dogs close by. He can hear the roosters crowing and he can hear me moving about. Surely that is better.
Three of the other calves in the West barn, though still having bouts of scours, get up the moment I enter the barn and are eating and drinking with vigour. One I am having to force to eat but I have decided to switch her to colostrum too today. They all still get three big drinks of electrolyte a day and small milk drinks the other three feeds. There first feed is at six and the last one at about 11.30pm so it is a long day. We are under the care of the vet and doing everything we can. It is all about the fluids. As much electrolyte as possible is the most important thing, then some food.
The bottles are warm now so I shall get going.
I hope you have a lovely day. I have already found loveliness in the sunrise. The Little Bobby and I watched it rise during his pre-dawn feed which he drunk enthusiastically.
Much love
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
86 responses to “Still alive”
You have such a lovely soul! The animals in your care are very blessed.
If everyone was as thoughtful as you are this would be a wonderful world. To care how an animal dies is as important as how we do. It speaks volumes of your character. Pragmatic and deeply kind. There is no escape the cycle of life but to do it with love and kindness is what is the most humane. I shall keep extra good thoughts for all today. I’m with you. No hospitals. My children have their instructions too. Very important discussions to have. Have a wonderful day.
Even in the darkest of Farmy moments, you find a way to make things better for those under your care and for those of us reading your words.
Indeed! Some days I laugh with abandon at your words and tales of the farmy. Today is different and the tears roll with sadness while reading your heartfelt telling of reality on the farm. Your most obvious care and caring comes through and those little ones we know are getting the best that there is. On a brighter note, it almost sounds like Little just might make it; he certainly seems to still have some fight left and we are all pulling for him… and for you too. I can only think this entire episode is draining for you. Wish I could help in some way. Prayers and thoughts coming your way, in hopes your day will continue to brighten. ~ Mame 🙂
You do help Mame – your words help more than you can imagine.. c
So sorry to hear about Little Bobby!! He is in the best hands with your care! I agree with your sentiments about dying, Celi.
When are you coming down to visit Merridee – do you get a day off soon?
Can’t think of much to say that hasn’t already been entered my all our great friends here. Just know I am thinking of you and all the animals, everyone being special!
It is so sad to hear about Little Bobby. I do hope that he fights and survives. And I so wholeheartedly agree with you on dying. I want to be at home and definitely not in a hospital or vets office. I want to be with my family surrounded by those that I love and the things that I love. Such a warm feeling. Have a great day my friend, my piggy heart goes out to you and I’m pulling against the odds for Bobby. XOXO – Bacon
It has been a hard week on the farmy. Bless you, miss c.
So sorry about Gadot as well!! So sad!!!!
Very moving miss. It’s good to care about how we die as well as how we live – and that goes for our loved ones, be they human or animal. We love them all.
Your Little Bobby is in good hands and in a beautiful spot. You just never know. Nice to think he might be rallying.
Celi your positivity shines through again today. You do my heart good. As for the way I want to die… I have no desire to become the oldest person in the country or the world, I just want to keel over while ‘doing’!
Fingers. knees and toes crossed for continued healing for all your charges.
I agree with everybody, such a lot of wise words. I hope the little bobby pulls through. X
Boo is ever the guardian angel. Thinking of you all, with love and prayers!
With life comes death and that will they or won’t they. Not that it makes it any easier. It’s interesting that you’ve talked about death with your family – maybe it’s having animals and so living with the cycle of life and death that makes us free to discuss something that many people seem so scared of.
My aged father-in-law went for a walk, sat down on a fallen tree and died. Perfect.
I’m sending positive energy your way… thinking good thoughts. Your prose was beautiful despite the circumstances.