Finding my way back

Many things have been happening to people around me in the lately, so much sadness and injustice and tragedy, and though the farm and I are fine – many of the best people in my life are struggling and sad. This left me with no words for the last few days.

So I am finding my way back into the kitchens garden blog with pictures. peahens

And I am saving my words for the meantime.

chook and chicks





That Cat

BooBoo has been wearing his worrying face too.

One thing I want you to do for me – memorise a phone number. Do not rely on your cell phone. What if your cell phone were taken from you and you only had one phone call but no number in your head.  Then you will be lost until I come to find you. I will find you but it will take longer if you have no number in your head to call. So memorise one number.

Life is full of change – don’t you think?  We get so complacent.full moon

I feel so helpless often – so far away from my birth place people.

I hope you have a lovely day – I really do wish this for you.


83 Comments on “Finding my way back

  1. I am so sorry to know that you have family are such a good ,hardworking,caring,wonderful lady but you are also human and like the rest of us there also comes a time in our lives when not everything goes to plan. I read something this morning which said 'maybe when things seem to fall apart..they are actually falling into place' l hope this is true in your case. You will be in my prayers this night

  2. I hope YOU have a lovely day – I REALLY do wish this for YOU….you have touched my life, and I was very worried for you.

  3. I wish you a lovely day as well. It is difficult to be away from our people, and most of yours are so far away. Thanks for offering us the photos!

  4. Thank you for the photos. Is that ‘not called Elfie” in the 3rd picture? Glad to hear from you. Hugs to you and all you love.

  5. I hope things improve for your friends and family soon.
    I used to know the phone numbers of most people I knew – some of them are still in there, including my old home phone number in Finchley from when I was 7.

  6. Darkness is created to teach…and it does pass…it is what we do with it afterwards that is crucial….be blessed.

  7. To be obliged to watch those we love struggle or in pain and to be unable to help is one of the hardest things in the known universe. I wish you and your loved ones strength, love, justice and harmony. Thank you for sharing lovely photos of your own particular corner of the universe, which is peopled by clever, beautiful, intelligent creatures of great character – and that’s just Miss C. xxxxx

    • I so agree with you with all my mind, body, heart and soul. Hard doesn’t really describe it does it? When it happens, you just have to be there, picking up the pieces in many ways, verbal, physical, emotional, mental. And if all fails, we must decide to go on. That we Will be ok no matter what, even if we are alone for while. We don’t want it but we will survive and go on. Feeling deeply for you Cecelia. Words get lost when we are hurting for others, especially those we love with our whole beings. Will be thinking of you and hoping you find peace and eventually your words. Pictures, also, tell amazing stories. Enjoy seeing your gift of photography.

  8. I am sorry you are experiencing sadness. When I walk through difficult times, I try to stay grounded by touching what gives me comfort – doing what the wild things do. I hole up and let go of unnecessary tasks, I rest, I walk in the woodlands, and I weep. Sometimes I stand under the night stars realizing the Universe is so much bigger than I can imagine, and I will never know all of the answers I seek. I hope that you feel the love that so many of us have for you. Try to move through the days to come with gentleness and be kind to yourself. I send my love to you on the southern winds.

    • I second this BIG time! Also, you and your beloveds are permanently on my prayer list. Love and sustaining prayers coming your way. Much love, Gayle, usually just Your Gayle, but today even more so.

  9. Keeping you and your family and friends faraway in my heart. I know what it is like living on another continent from loved ones. Nothing worse in times of worry and concern and sadness. Sending you giant hugs.

  10. I am sorry for your troubles and sadness. You don’t have to write words we will be here waiting when you are ready to join us. Take care of yourself. Boo boo’s worry face is precious, he has such soul.

  11. Sending my best wishes for everyone in your families far & near to be well & happy & everything to work itself out & settle very soon.

  12. Prayers for you and yours. I was worried about you Miss C. I will share your wisdom about memorizing a phone number.
    Sweet Boo’s face… ❤

  13. I have nightmares like that, when I can’t get through or someone can’t get through to me, or I can’t find them. Awful enough but in real life it would be terrifying. Therefore, the G.O. and I have just been reciting our numbers ☏

  14. In some ways, it’s harder for me to deal with the pain and tragedies of those I care about than my own problems. I feel so helpless to do anything meaningful to make things better for them. Take care of yourself, take the time you need.

  15. I am so sorry Celi. So sorry that you are feeling sad and far away from your roots. I feel shaky most of the time; things feel so fragile, so maybe I understand a little of what you are going through. These are the times that I find our digital networks both good and lacking. I can offer you all my love, hope and encouragement. But I cannot look you in the eye wordlessly or hold your hand.

    • I am so sorry and I understand how you both feel. My heart is broken right now and all I can do is stare across the ocean and go on with my life. Hugs !

  16. I’ve always kept a paper copy of the numbers in my phone, but never had taken that next step of memorizing one or two. Thanks for the prod. And thanks, too, for being here, even in the midst of your sadness and grief (and perhaps even anger?) so that we can be here for you.

  17. Hugs to you from Canada. I know how difficult it is having family thousands of miles away but the loved ones that are ill or hurting in the same house bring just as much stress and worry, if not more. This is not meant to minimize your pain. I remember all too well the evening my sisters and I frantically phoned each other trying to figure out what was happening to our mother who was in a hospital in Mexico while on vacation. Make time for yourself and your sweet animals. Thank you for sharing these wonderful photos.

  18. We stand with and beside and all around you Miss C. Please draw on the strength of all of those you touch every day with this blog to help you on this journey. And let our voices carry you when you don’t have the words… {{{{Many, many hugs}}}}

  19. I have my husband and my work number memorized. Sadly – I had my parents number memorized – but it rings to an empty building now. Empty but for material items and memories.

    2016 will go down and the worst year of my life – so I agree with you bad things are happening. FAITH and people depending on me make me move forward. Our daily grind is what sustains us I think. You milking the cows – me driving 30+ miles to work. You feeding the pigs – me making sure peoples pay is processed. Small – repeating tasks – but there is such comfort there when chaos surrounds us.

    Lean in to the repetitive… When Mom passed someone told me that and it is so very true. I have found some of myself again with it…

    I’m here if you want to talk … Texas is here if you want to R-U-N-N-O-F-T…. but most of all – know we on this blog all care…..

    • Lovely and excellent words, Pat. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us at all times. Much love, Your Gayle

  20. Thank you for the advice. Hopes and prayers for the sadness to fall away quickly from you and yours. Your pictures are lovely and peaceful. Sometimes we feel like BooBoo looks. A hug goes a long way. Peace.

  21. I’m so sorry that you are having sadness in your life , the hardest thing is to watch the people you love suffer in any way. I will pray for you and yours to have better days. I wish I could take your troubles away. Sending hugs your way.

  22. My heart goes out to you, Miss C…life is fragile, but full of strong strings of cobweb love tying us all together.


  23. I was worried when we didn’t hear from you and now am so sorry your loved ones are suffering and so far away. It has been a ghastly summer for so many of us it seems. Even as I write my husband and I are waiting on a biopsy report–won’t know until the 30th.

  24. So sorry to hear that you are experiencing some difficult times in your life with your loved ones. Sending happy thoughts your way for better days ahead.

  25. I am here if you need me, C. The fellowship is here. Lean on us as we have leaned on you from time to time. I thought about you yesterday a lot…one day happens, but two days doesn’t. Take good care, my friend.

  26. I hope for you to find peace in this moment, Celi, and that these dark moments will subside soon.

  27. So very sorry to hear that you are having sad times right now. Sending you big warm hugs. This year held very sad happenings for me and I didn’t think I would ever be happy again. Time has passed, I am still sad but am also feeling happy and hopeful again I wish you the same for you. Only time will heal. Pls keep posting your beautiful photos.

  28. The words will come when it’s time. It seems this is a year for struggle and saddness. I’ve been dealing with a lot I never thought would happen. I’m sorry that there is saddness and struggle for those you love. It’s bad enough when it’s your own but far more upsetting and difficult to deal with when it comes to those you love who are far away. I always keep you, the farmy and the fellowship in my prayers, but extras will be added. That is excellent advice about memorizing at least one phone number, I have several in my head as I have no cell phone. Take care of yourself during this time of difficulty. We all love you.

  29. “Lean on a Friend” – your motto on our Tee… – I so hope you have someone to lean on right now, who holds you, who does understand you.
    Lots of love from me to you.

  30. I am so sorry Cinders…I have that phone number memorized…Thank-you…One thing about sorrow, at least for me, I am reminded how strong love is and how much we need one another…

  31. it is so hard to watch and feel helpless as those you care about are suffering. i’m so glad that you and the farm are in a peaceful place.

  32. In his secure retreat place on the barn floor, Boo speaks for many of us. There is so much in his expression that we feel, looking for you.

  33. Hugs, Ms C. — am glad you’re well, I was beginning to wonder, so thank you for the pictures today and more words another time. Sounds like an awful time right now but “this too shall pass away” — eventually, as all things do. Thoughts and prayers are winging their way to you and I hope this day is a better one. ~ Mame 🙂

  34. I have added you and yours to my morning litany to the higher powers, peace.

  35. Thank you for taking the time to post the photos. I hope you feel our supporting presence in this lounge.

  36. The little chicks following along – staying close to each other for comfort. That seems to reflect what is happening here. Thank you for building this wonderful lounge of support. I know we are all hoping you can lean on it for some strength. Sending you hugs from Canada.

  37. I think all of us have been worried thinking something had gone very awry on the farmy and with you. Truly sorry about this hard stage in your life: truly hope matters gone wrong will slowly sort themselves out. Truly thinking of you . . .

  38. I was so worried about you, Celi! I wrote to another Fellowship member asking if I had missed something…that you had said that you were taking a day or two off. So worried! I’m glad you are back and have explained somewhat what is hurting your soul. So much love to you, darling Celi! Your Gayle

  39. I am sending good wishes for you and yours. Sometimes the biggest hit life can give is when it hits someone we love. I hope things get better soon.

  40. When you can’t hold the one who is hurting, the next best thing is, for me, prayer. I will hold you and your family and friends in my prayers, and if you don’t mind I’ll add your “group” to the list my Prayer Circle friends pray for every day. There have been some difficult times in my circle this year – by the sounds of it, a lot of the Friends of the Farmy are having the same stinking problem.

    “All shall be well and all shall be well and all manner of thing shall be well.” Julian of Norwich

    Chris S in Canada

  41. I worry about that phone number not being remembered. Hope kids are still being taught that and their address at an early age.
    The more we go forward, the 2 steps back seem more difficult to understand.
    Hugs for those close everyday and connecting with thoughts for those far away.

  42. So sorry. Thank you for the photos, reminder that life still goes on through the hurts, and all that is thrown our way. May you find peace.

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