Last night Aunty Del gave birth to twins. But one was born dead.
I knew she was close, so I brought her into the barn and settled her. Then left to do some work and give her some time to relax – came back out not even an hour later and there was one little black heifer up already and one dead on the ground. He had not even moved from where birth had left him. He must have been born dead.
I was so angry. If only I had come back out a little earlier. And yes, I know that is a stupid thing to say. But. It was all very fast so there cannot have been any stress. He was perfect. But dead. I could not revive him.
Dead is dead – there is no coming back from it. No matter how one tries.
He was a good size, as is the little heifer. She was up and walking about and drinking by the time I left them.
I am so angry. So disappointed. Sad.
We had a lot of successes this season though – we must not forget that. And Aunty is happy with her baby.
But to lose a twin seems so awful somehow.
Later in the night, the calf was still a bit shivery so I put the little calf cover on her. I keep it (and the larger one) hanging on a hook in the barn so they always smells barny and not freshly washed. It was cold enough for me to see my breath and it does not hurt to keep baby a little warmer. I watched for a while and Del did not mind, she was licking babies head when I left them again.
celi
WEATHER: Rain is coming. Fitting.
Saturday 11/04 70% / 0.14 in
Light rain early…then remaining cloudy with showers in the afternoon. Thunder possible. High around 55F. Winds SSE at 10 to 15 mph. Chance of rain 70%.
Saturday Night 11/04 60% / 0.06 in
Scattered thunderstorms developing overnight. Low around 50F. Winds light and variable. Chance of rain 60%.
Sun
7:27 am 5:44 pm
Moon
Full, 99% visible 6:35 pm 7:39 am
c
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The Kitchen's Garden 
68 responses to “SO ANGRY”
I’m so very sorry.
I know – very sad.
That’s sad, but maybe it was dead before it was born and nature took it’s course. Don’t blame yourself, you can’t be everywhere. Well done Auntie Del!
Those little pigs look bigger than ever – they seem very happy out foraging with Molly.
NO, I know better than to blame myself – but it is hard not to think What IF
I can appreciate that.
That is so sad. But chances are you couldn’t have done a thing had you been there.
Yes it is sad
So sorry about the little twin. Most likely there is nothing you could have done, but we always kick ourselves when things like this happen. I am glad Mama and baby heifer are doing well.
Yes they are doing well – already baby is up and about – doing little jumps
Oh my poor dear Celi..how awful! I feel sad for you but as you say dead is dead and not even you can bring him back to the living. It is very sad but I am sure that God had his reason , even though it is so hard for us humans to understand…You do so much for your animals , night and day , so to have this happen at the moment when you are not there is heart breaking and I am sure you feel that you have let Aunty Del down …but that is not so….things happen for a reason… SO! Chin up, brush down and start all over again
lots of love from me xxxxx
Sent: Saturday, November 04, 2017 at 12:56 PM
Yes – thank you –
And the other sad fact is that this little heifer is a freemartin which is a term used to describe a heifer who has a male twin. And as such she will never conceive due to the sharing of a placenta with a male. So very sad for your loss.
yes she will be beef.
I’m so sorry.
me too
Im sorry about your little calf.
he was a big boy too – but there you are –
I am so sorry. But I am happy the little survivor is doing well & thatAunty Del did not have have a hard time with twins, requiring a vet or a hard night for you. I hope they both will continue to thrive. And you will be soothed.
Yes, we were lucky with that. i have heard horror stories about twins being delivered.
That is sad news, but as others have said, I’m sure the outcome would of been the same even if you had been present. Try to have a nice day.
Well, honestly we do not know – however it is a nice thought..
Yes, I was just going to ask if she’d be a freemartin, with a male twin.
Isn’t it funny, how you can be sure he was born dead, and simultaneously feel that if you’d only done something different….
Farming is hard on the heart. You can nearly kill yourself trying to do your absolute best for everyone, but death is always near and present. Every time you turn around and least expect it something has keeled over, often for no apparent cause or reason, and there’s that “What if I’d just – ?” Some events are educational, some are…I guess, opportunities for self-forgiveness and surrender? It’s hard.
Beautifully said, Selka.
Yes – i agree with all of that – sometimes it is just hard
Sending you a big sunshine filled African hug C. So very very sorry.
Mandy xo
African sunshine – thank you
So sad and disappointing for you, bummer. Wasn’t Queenie a freemartin and did indeed have a Bobby? Laura
PS that picture of the ladybug on the post is amazing and fabulous. Laura
She was one of two female twins – so the man said anyway
So sorry C. Sending many hugs…
But so many wonderful baby pictures this year!
yes we have had lots of babies
There are never words comforting enough to blanket the emotions we feel with loss. I really loved what Selka had to say above. Life and death is hard.
I had never heard of a freemartin before so I had to Google that. What might this mean for the future of this heifer calf?
I had never heard of a freemartin either and had to research it. I’m wondering if she is infertile if she could become another bobby calf, so to speak?
This calf will go into the beef herd when she is weaned..