What the hell, right. No hugs. No kisses. No closeness. No faces. It is so loud at the mill- with two mills running 24 hours a day now and with masks on all the time – we have given up on casual conversation – just shark attack quick 6 second communications.
If I am home by 7 of an evening it is an early night. I leave at 5.30am. But I could work 24 hours a day and still not be done.
The demand for flour is like a big monster and when that meets a little country mill that celebrated for breaking-even last financial year, well, as you can imagine, the owners are pretty excited. In fact the owners are working longer hours than me trying to keep this thing afloat in these wild seas.
The orders are like a big maw. Insatiable. We keep running out of everything, then finding a new supplier then running out of that, it is an incredibly game of hide and seek.
But surely this has to settle down soon. Something will break. Not me, 12 hours a day is just farmers hours to me. I have been nowhere but the mill and the farm for weeks. Just like you all. Keeping isolated. We need to. I know that. But there must be a way to create joyful communication within this isolation.
Piglets are coming today. This summers first group. That will be good. And I will shift the chicks out into their outside space. Hopefully this last week was the past of the cold. Why is it still so cold.
The good news is that there is a massive drop in pollution. This surely must impact the climate crisis. More people taking walks and sitting in their porches I hope. I have a friend in Chicago who describes every day as a Sunday afternoon.
John’s sons have been sent their stimulus checks of 1200 dollars. I won’t get one because I am not an American citizen though I am still working so I have no need of one. John is retired so his small income is un-interrupted for the moment. Though there is concern that the pension funds have been tied to the stock and mortgage markets.
However we need to all be very frugal. The anxiety of it all must be monitored within ourselves as well. Now is not the time to break and run out screaming – we have a while to go, the time to plan and change has come, we need to be adapting and growing as we hunker down. So we emerge like butterflies new and better prepared and different. It will be different. Now we need to seek ways to thrive. We need to find new ways of getting the job done. New ways of living. New ways of doing business. New ways of being loving.
We adapt – that is what human beings do.
How are you all doing out there. Let’s hear from each other again. Answer each other’s messages too. I love it when you all talk amongst yourselves. We have been the fellowship a long time now. 
Write me a message. Tell us about what is going on in with you and in your region. Tell me how things are with you. Let’s have an update. I worry about you all out there.
🦋All my Instagram posts for the mill have always had this butterfly in them. This blue butterfly. So people know it is me talking – ironic really. 🦋 because this is now where my focus is lying – emerging from all this – new. With wings! Different . We can design a new world.
I need someone to make me a T-shirt!
Cecilia
The Kitchen's Garden 
103 responses to “I KNOW”
We have not changed much up here on the ridge. We are fairly isolated, anyway. We are on line a lot more than we ever were, I suppose it’s because of the cold weather we have been having. I am prepared to plant the garden, as soon as we get past frost warnings. We do wonder how life will look afterward, but the hay will grow, no matter, so we work and get through each day…one at a time. Hope you all are doing well, and pray for the future health of all our families.
Here in Mississippi it’s life as usual for me and my husband who is an essential worker while I stay at home caring for our chickens and ducks, which I have several of each sitting and I’m hoping excitedly that babies will be born. I have one cochin who went broody last month and I have just one chick from her but yet it’s a hope for the future. We have planted our gardens yesterday. Plants and seeds are hard to find here but my husband was able to find what we usually plant. It does feeling like Sunday as your friend stated,it reminds me of my youth when Sunday’s were quiet,most stores where closed and we visited family, that’s the only draw back not being able to see the family though we text often and when I need to hear my grown children’s voice I’ll call. I’m pleased to hear you’re doing well and the mill is busy but I hate that you must work the hours you are. I’m excited to see your piggies and love reading you posts. Much love sent to everyone
Hello from Northern California. I received my order of flour from Janie’s yesterday and it looks wonderful. I can’t wait to make some bread with it! We are doing okay — busy in the garden and mending fences and missing “normal” life (hugs and kisses and time with friends); but doing okay.
Hi Celi, All is well out here in Portland. We are being very dutiful about social distancing and my favorite thing about it is being able to walk down the center of the neighborhood streets, due to lack of traffic. My husband is working at home, and I’ve worked at home forever, so we are juggling zooms and calls but it is all working out fine.
I feel so grateful for all that I have in this time when so many are suffering. I was in France at the beginning of March and left early because of the lockdown. Very, very grateful to have gotten home without exposure to the virus.
I’m trying to get a sourdough starter going but I seem to keep killing it. Anybody have any ideas what I’m doing wrong?
So good to hear your report about the mill and read everyone else’s reports as well!
Sending virtual hugs!
Charlotte
My eldest daughter had her baby two weeks ago, so in the lockdown here in the uk. A boy! A first in this family of girls.
As it’s her second child she’s fine and not at all stressed, which is good as all midwife and health visitor visits have stopped. I feel really sorry for first time mums in these times very stressful.
We are very lucky that we can walk out of our house straight onto a common, which is a lovely place, but is so busy now with people jogging and walking and it’s so funny seeing people veer off into bushes when they see you approach which we do too. Everyone is being very good. The weather here has been really nice so that helps a lot, especially when I have to queue outside the supermarket! Keep safe.
Oh you work SO hard. How do you manage to run a farm as well. Little pigs coming, looking forward to that.
Many of my grand children live in the same village as l do so when ever any of them are passing my house with their parents the can open my back garden gate and we can catch up with a good chat with a good distance between us.. Lack of physical contact but l know l am very lucky. Aside from that, walking, gardening and knitting, all very therapeutic. Stay safe everybody.
It gives me hope to have read all the comments here about people doing what they should be doing! I constantly am afraid for the people of the US and how many want to open up the country again which would be devstating for all of them. Canadians are much more likely to follow the rules than our neighbors to the south! I am in Alberta but not in one of the big cities so there are few cases. I am working from home and love it! I hope I get the option to continue working from home when this is all over or settled down. Take care all and stay at home!
So good to hear from you Celi and from the fellowship! All is well with us on our small farm. We are waiting for ducklings that will be hatching soon, and watching our goat, Betty Boop, who will have babies in a month. Spring has sprung down here in North Central Arkansas, which makes this craziness easier to bear. Sending love to the Fellowship of the Farmy!!!
I have really missed your posts. 😦 Btw, if you have a green card, you should be able to get a stimulus check – you don’t have to be a citizen.
They say it is only likely a green card holder will get a check – except that mine is expired – hopefully I get my replacement soon! But like I say I am still working / the money should go to people who lost their jobs.
It’s surprising to me that Australians, traditionally the disobedient, independent larrikins, are mostly obeying the lockdown orders without excessive whinging and griping, but the Americans are protesting it. Perhaps it’s something to do with how the Australian government is making an effort to take care of those thrown out of work… My life is not very different, since I was always at home before, and the Husband is in an essential occupation and still hard at work. I have managed to get past that period of intense distraction by coronavirus news coverage; it’s clear to me now that our curve has totally flattened and if we stay patient we’ll soon be on top of it. Not that we had such a bad situation to start with, of course… Groceries are a never-ending source of frustration, as the supermarkets juggle supplies against demand. One of these days, I’ll be able to buy flour, pasta, canned tomatoes and sugar once again. Meanwhile, we do without.
It is a cool spring isn’t it- a friend of mine here in northern lower peninsula of a Michigan posted of photo from here 2 years ago and we were dealing with a snowstorm with 2” of snow- at least I see the grass starting to turn green! Ramps have popped up in the woods behind our house- will wait another week so they get a little bigger. I am going to make sourdough starter- and I wanted to use your recipe- how can I find it? So hope the work slows down for you a little. Hopefully when the weather is nicer and people will be outside more. Stay healthy- love the farm photos!
Thank you for all of your hard work. I ordered a couple different flours and received them last week. Friday we made pizza from the Italian Flour. It was amazing!! Can’t wait to try a few more things. We are in Southern Illinois and I am still working in the hospital. My husband has been home going on 6 weeks tomorrow. I have always loved cooking and baking. With this virus/stay home order, baking seems to be the thing to do right now. I know so many people are baking that usually never baked.
It’s great to hear from you Celi, and to read how others are managing. I tend to lurk and read, usually. I’m in central Scotland. I’ve worked remotely for a long time so no difference there, except with the entire company working from home I’m invited to more meetings (I think they used to forget about me!) and by Thursday I’m all talked out and feeling rather anti-social. My work is manic busy at the moment, with long hours, but I am v thankful to have my job and income. But… there’s no time to get seeds in, unless I start a night shift …I will carve out some time, somewhere. Had to say goodbye to my beautiful old dog right at the start of the year but I’m v glad we made a mad dash up north to collect another rescue just before lock-down. An 18-month lurcher boy. My horizons have narrowed but he gives me a reason to get out into our local fields and woods. I found two tins of dried yeast at the back of the cupboard (use by 2017) but I’ve experimented and the yeast is still active. Flour is a bit of a prob though! I’m missing hugs and just being able to reach out to touch. My partner is self-isolating on his boat away from the house and my usually lovely 18-year-old son is being v teenager at the moment. Gosh, I’ve written a book here… will I actually post it!!
Working remotely up in remote Scotland sounds a bit romantic actually !! I am glad you posted your book! We love hearing each other’s stories.
Our reality is somewhere between Kate’s and Lori’s. Here in Alice Springs we are in a nearly virus free zone! The only two cases locally, were not from here and stayed in hospital, but had contracted the disease overseas, which is where we were until four weeks ago! We got home just in time to be able to self-isolate at home instead of a hotel, thank goodness. Groceries are being delivered as we are of ages that are still being told to stay at home, so we are dependant on the supply and demand of grocery items. Mostly we are fine. Even my hairdresser was open so after seven weeks I could get a haircut! Glad to hear from you. I hope the mill makes lots of money from all your hard work. Things will be bumpy for everyone for a while. xx
I think it is so funny – no hairdressers – and I was woefully in need of one when this whole thing started! Now my fair is long and curly and wild and grey and just hilarious! Lucky we wear caps at work !!
Thank you for your updates. Things are strange here in Ohio – there’s food in the stores again but everyone is feeling the impending spring and getting antsy. Demand for eggs, chicks and rabbits has been high – the local feed stores are totally out of chicks almost every day. We had snow two days ago -over an inch and it stuck around for a day or two. There are protesters demanding the state be opened again but their protests have been largely selfish and scary – demanding services for themselves like haircuts and movies. The doctor leading the Ohio response is Jewish and protesters have been carrying antisemetic signs. Many have been armed. It’s a small gathering, but still concerning.
But the plants keep growing. And the bunnies have babies. And the flowers bloom. And the new dog gets trained and fetches his ball They don’t care about any of it.
That sounds like a frightening gathering – armed as well. What are they thinking!!!