The wheat has been harvested and my fields have lost their romance. The wheat has gone. 
It was here – so beautiful and now harvested and collected and gone to be tested for all manner of things before the women at the Mill turn it into food. 
Though the harvest itself holds a certain terminal beauty. Like a sandcastle – there and gone.
They are harvesting Frederick here. Frederick is just below a medium protein flour. It is a favorite cake flour amongst the bakers ( cake- sifted) and the whole wheat flour blended with the Glenn makes a nice loaf of bread. I think people like the Fred for its mild flavor. I am more of a Glenn girl.
Anyway the wheat is gone now. Today we will bale as much straw as we can.
Sheila is getting old. I say this without ceremony because I feel shipwrecked or more ship-lost-at-sea at the thought of losing Sheila my old dear pig. Pigs don’t stop growing – they slow down but she keeps on getting longer – and she is over 6 foot long now and up to my waist in height (and I am not a short person). But her back half is not keeping up with her front half as though they are being directed by two different brains. Rising out of a sitting position takes real determination. Walking, with her long back and bad hip, is more of a drunken sway. I am afraid that soon she will sit down and won’t be able to get back up.
But she still looks me straight in the eye and gently takes food from my hands when I feed her. She still fights Poppy if Poppy tries to steal her food. She still wallows in her enormous mud puddle and waits for me in the evening. She is quite deaf but if I wave her bucket of vegetables about and call with a very high voice she gets up after a struggle and still comes lumbering out into her garden for her evening vegetables.
But she is getting old. And you and I need to start preparing ourselves.
Soon she and Poppy will go into one of the bigger pig gardens. They are wonderfully shady now and Sheila will like that.
I am reading this book:
Writers and Lovers – a Novel
Though I have not finished it yet. I love to read – it helps me to not think. It is like traveling very safely.
I told my fourth son in New Zealand he might have to buy a bigger boat in case he has to come and get me.
I can hear the ducks outside the window. It seems to me there are less of them. There are a number sitting on eggs but no eggs are hatching. The ducks sit for over a month but eventually the nest is abandoned. One nest has two ducks in it. But no ducklings for us. John is digging a big pond, deeper than himself, where his swimming pool used to be, and lining it in with rocks at the moment. The rocks cover a big black liner. The ducks will be happy when that is finished. I told him I would start a budget for replacement fish. It will attract herons too which is pretty cool. ( more replacement fish). I told him to place the rocks in such a way that the fish can hide from the birds. I have no idea where one even buys fish in those numbers.
It is a beautiful day. I might garden later. First though: ‘the working woman’s Saturday morning jobs.’
Take care.
Celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
51 responses to “Endings”
I am afraid I am shedding a wee tear . . . it all looked so different when I first clicked on to see Charlotte and Sheila, babies still, following you down the farmy path . . .life . . . a lot has changed . . .but we have to look at that glass in front of us . . . it is half full, not the other way around . . . so difficult at times to go the proverbial two steps forward and only one back . . . . we’ll manage, Milady !!!
Yes, we will adapt – this is a wake up call and we must wake up! Though sometimes waking up is hard.
What a beautiful place and a beautiful harvest. Illinois DNR can help you with fish stocking–bass, bluegill (I have such memories of bluegill sandwiches) and other fish…They should have a website with info.
Thank you! Great info!
Beautiful photos. Beautiful harvest… so much better than the beans and corn. And from it will come beautiful flour. Through various difficult times in my life my Dad’s first check was to see if I had enough to read. Reading is time well spent. Aged, beloved animals are bittersweet. Take care ♡
Yes!! I am grateful for kindle now. I have not been to a store since March so browsing a book store – opening and shutting all those books is out of the question – online reading is a great option!
Thank you for returning to your blog! I have dearly missed the daily news. Sad about Sheila–time goes on for all of us. 😥 And sad about Covid still keeping us locked down – well, some of us who are not blasé about it. I’m in Northern California and we were one of the first states to lock down, and yet we are one of the 3 top states with infections spiking. No. CA has been decent, except at the beaches, whereas So. CA has been steadily misbehaving. sigh. But, we still must remember our blessings. I live alone and haven’t been touched in 4 months. People who are quarantined with someone should recognize that blessing. But, I try to remember my other blessings, so that is keeping my roller-coaster spirits higher. Hope you are managing yours, Ceci! This too shall pass. (maybe like a kidney stone, but it will shall pass)
Hi Kerry, the lack of touching is what is the hardest for us as a species. We are innately gregarious. I am so lucky to have a job that is close by with a small team and I am able to stay in the coop. My husband refuses to concede that there even is a virus. And I take no risks. So I am lucky to have my own little wing in the house. I meet with my Mother in Law and We have a glass of wine on Sunday afternoons sat 10 feet apart on her outside porch and that is lovely. Always masked at work to protect each other but it is dismaying to see so many people down here unmasked. It is a watershed time for civilization- we cannot ignore it and we must adapt to it. You are a very strong woman to stay so steadfast. I applaud you – I really do. C
Dale -you have made me smile ! Uhuh !! I was brought up the sameway ! Was an only child of middle-aged parents who did a remarkable job not having a bloody clue ! Dad was a military lawyer ottwriting his cases in the home library. I would sit on the rug in front of the fire and was allowed to help myself to any book which took my fancy. Well, we only went to school at 8 and I taught myself to read at five. Well, honest injun, I Picked ‘War and Peace’ off the shelf . . . I would not, could not let it go . . . was nearly eight when I managed the last [age . . . but both Dad and I were proud of that little accomplishment . . . . . . I can still quote Natasha Rostova. . . never been sorry
Hi Celi! So good to hear from you! Yes, it seems that all our animals are getting older too. 😦 Jethro, our boar, has had back hip issues, it seems just like Shiela, for over a year now. He has such a hard time standing and moving around. We thought he was a goner last winter when it got cold and he couldn’t get up to move inside his shelter, but he managed. Both he and Ellie Mae, his longtime partner, are hanging in there, and seem happy. It’s hard to think of them, and our dogs, who are getting gray and also showing their age not being around anymore.
What a change with your wheat being gone! I seem to always be surprised and saddened (which of course is ridiculous) when the asparagus stops producing, or any of the vegetables for that matter, as it is the end of the plant life cycle. I guess it’s letting go… That’s always seems difficult. But then nothing is permanent, in fact impermanence is a fact of life. I am sending you big virtual hugs and positive, uplifting energies. xoxoxo
Just reading this. The soil and conservation dept sell fish each spring and fall. You fill out your order ..send in your money…pick up your fish on the designated day. We do it each year for our pond. Great prices too. Text me if you’re interested and I’ll let you know when I get my letter and order blank. Pick up is in the town where Acres Inn is located.
It is so hard when our beloved pets get old- I always wanted to go see her in person but now with quarantine I am afraid that will never happen. Beautiful photo of the wheat field with the beautiful sky
So happy to have a blog post and know that you are all basically OK. I miss your regular posts, but this is not pressure! You and everyone else have a lot going on and you seem SO busy at the Mill. It was good to see the pictures – beautiful. I was surprised the wheat is harvested so early. Will another crop go in this year? And sorry to hear about Sheila. I’m glad you have her still and she is OK as she ages. The pond news is interesting too – never a dull moment with you all. I wonder what is happening with the ducks? Looking forward to you keeping us in mind so we know you are OK.
I just found your blog and I adore it. I always wanted to try making some wheat berries into flour so that I can store some wheat as I am kinda of like a prepper. Please check out my little blog at https://www.wisdomforpennies.com and share it pretty please as I will share yours here in North Florida where I live. We are more open in the co
mmunity now but may go back to lockdown at it is spreading fast here. Love and Hugs from me to you!
Poor Sheila. I’m dealing with similar issues with my Guinness dog. It’s hard watching them get so old. I didn’t realise pigs keep growing so that must be quite difficult for her. I hope she is ok.
It’s so hard watching our animal friends get old … thinking of you Celi
I thought I had heard that pigs never stop growing (probably learned that from you, Celi). How unfortunate. I treasure my “sheila shirt”, though I seem to be outgrowing things as well. Sigh.