The animosity. The pettiness. The tiny-mind mean-spiritedness. The shyness. The dark self talk. The busyness of business. Give it a rest. All that thinking. Stop it. Heads Up. Reach out to your people. Take a deep breath and jump into a conversation.
Two people I knew not too well have died. We liked each other. We knew each others names and would have called them out on the street with a great wave through the traffic and noise. Two people I knew a little bit for a long time but wanted to know better and thought I had time, died in the last week. And BOTH times – BOTH TIMES – I had put off getting in touch or sending a message because I thought they might be busy. And maybe I would be a bother. Or maybe what I had to say was not important. Or maybe. Maybe. Maybe.
I had been nudged by the universe of spirits and dreams to pop in and I had not. Because I was unsure or distracted. I thought too much of how I would be received, whether or why and not enough of how. Almost paralysis by analysis but not even that. Just losing the moment maybe?
I had allowed myself to be embroiled and side- lined in unrelated unsolvable bullshit and lost sight of my good solid ordinary friends from the people world. Who probably would have appreciated the smile. Who had popped up from my subconscious to wave but I did not wave back. I did not make the effort.
Trust yourself.
If you dream of someone – reach out. If you feel a nudge – reach out. Right now. If you have a feeling – reach out. There is no excuse in this world of multiple pathways not to communicate. Pop in for no reason. It’s ok.
This has happened to us all. All of us.
It will happen again I am sure.
Do not write sorry for your loss. This IS my loss but not how that phrase depicts it. Instead tell me about the person you are going to reach out to later today. Who has been on your mind. Who you have hesitated over. I think there is a reason a person crosses our mind. Walks in and out of our dreams. Their warm names giving us pause.
We are all friends here. The Fellowship. The Fellowship of The Farmy. We have been chatting together and supporting each other in the Lounge of Comments since 2011. That level of care is not common and is important. I am so grateful for you.
The sun is out.
I am going to work in the chook-house for a while today. Chickens are a microcosm of human behaviour. They squabble and chase each other and roost fatly and sweetly together at the end of the day. They remind me to settle down, gather my flock and eat, drink and watch. And fight for my corner. Look after my people. Share. Then sleep.
More on that this evening at TKG Take Ten.
Celi
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The Kitchen's Garden 
28 responses to “Give it a Rest. Reach Out.”
I think most of us at one time or another has gone through this with close friends and also acquaintances. We let time pass because in the back of our minds we think we know there is always plenty of time left. There isn’t, and it’s a good lesson to remember.
Thanks for the nudge Cecilia, I’m calling my cousin today.
You are so right Dorothy. We will nudge each other.
Deal!
I’m so sorry and you are exactly right. Never wait❤️
I going to reach out to a couple of people today!
I read this during a rare unable to sleep night. It was 2:30 am and I thought of a woman I met in 1998, and we immediately bonded and became good friends. She remarried and moved away, but we have kept in constant contact. But the last few months the telephone calls have been few and far between and I just know I have to called her today. Thank you for the the push, the nudge Cecilia.
Those old friendships are golden. Especially the instant ones. I have friends – we get back together after a year or so and just begin mid sentence. Wonderful.
Thank you C.
Welcome Deb.
A lot of people I know have died in the last couple of years. It is our age, but it doesn’t make it any easier.
You are right – I guess we will see more of it the older we get. Good point.
Thanks for this Celi. I just reached out to a friend I’ve been thinking about for weeks. So important to act now as we never know what tomorrow will bring…
You are right!! We never know and are never prepared.
Hi Celi
Once again you have posted an important post. So often we find ourselves becoming a “human doing” instead of a “human being”. I’m going to reach out to a long lost friend today who has been on my mind so much lately.
thank you.
Jo
You are welcome Jo – I hope you get to connect with your long lost friend!
A good friend of mine who I’d known for 40 years died recently. I hadn’t connected with her recently. Kept meaning to, but I didn’t. “Meaning to” doesn’t count. Thanks for this wonderful reminder.
We all do things, right?! Very forgivable though we find it hard to forgive ourselves.
Important to keep in touch and reach out although it does work both ways. I seem to be the one who constantly checks on people, and it would be nice if it were reciprocated more. C’est la vie! I have to accept how things are…reluctantly at times.
I too am the person who always reaches out. It is part of my core personality. I look at it that I am the keeper of relationships and keep them in the forefront. It is a good and kind trait don’t you think? I will be touching base with an old friend today who I have been thinking about since the first of the month as I know she was moving Feb 1. I have been waiting for her to settle in and now shall see how she is doing. Thanks for your nudge Celi. Hugs
I sometimes think about that with birthday presents. I buy made of them for children ave grandchildren and get not even one back! But at least we know we are getting it right and the joy of getting a birthday present right is quite the thing for me!
Beautifully said Celi. The nudges can sometimes start out as just a small tap, then it’s a another tap, then you might hear a song that reminds you of that person, or see someone that looks like them, then, like you said, you might dream of them, etc. The hints start out subtle and work their way up from there. We’re all busy, but those nudges are a blessing. Maybe they were thinking of you too, but thought you were probably busy with everything. Reaching out to communicate with them, even if it’s a text, is so appreciated. More times than not, that person is thinking of you too. 🤗
So very true! Howdy, Miss C 🙂
Have a good one, Miss T!! 💃🏼
So true. The times I’ve gone to reach out to people … put off the call or the visit and ow as I get older I realsie time is short. So mny of my friends have died over the last couple of years and I think of all the things I wanted to say … but never did.
A close friend of mine lost her husband last year. We were due to have coffee that morning and she said she couldn’t her husband had died in the night. Just came straight out with it. I was in shock. I asked her if I could do anything or if she needed anyone to be with her. She said no, that’s okay. I have my daughter here. I made sure she knew to call us if she needed anything and I left it with her. That and the reminder to let us know when the funeral was. I never heard and then we went away on holiday. I sent her a few messages and heard nothing. When I did see her she blanked me.
I curse every day since for not going round to see her when we got back from holiday and now it’s to late.
I’ve reached out to a friend today, it was on the cards but in its own good time as life has been busy for both of us… in the interims we keep in touch via social media posts, so we have an idea of what’s going on with each other.
I think we all need the reminder that life is short. I have a tombstone paperweight that says Relax, It’s Later Than You Think but I am as much at fault as anyone for thinking there’s time for that later. We all must remember to pause and look up.
I must try again. I reached out to a friend yesterday, and it was made abundantly plain to me that I was currently irrelevant, she had more interesting pots to boil. I feel a bit stung, and used, since I had my brain thoroughly picked over and large amounts of coaching, help and suggestions extracted. She would “call me soon”. I’m not holding my breath. So, put the sadness aside, pull on my big girl pants, and on with the next thing. Trouble is, I’m tired, and in pain and coming down from the high of being on holiday. Not conducive to rational, reflective though. I WILL try again. Elsewhere.