The package is still in the hands of DHL in the UK. It was collected from the Passport office in London only hours after I called. The women there turned it over in record time.
But almost 24 hours later it is still in the UK. The call centre and the screen just say it is at a facility in the Midlands.
Being at a facility sounds like a prison doesn’t it. Has my package been using curse words at its handlers. Shrieking to “hurry up” from inside its box but with expletives and been put on a shelf to “Calm down sir, we cannot get you a seat on the plane until you calm down.”
I am anything but calm. My Darling Travel Agent changed my ticket for an afternoon flight on Friday, it was not a cheap exchange. But I think I may have been a bit optimistic.
The Darling Travel Agent and her husband are taking the train to Chicago today (it is the Fourth of July, the United States is on Holiday) and has told me that she is taking all my info with her. In case we have to change the flight again, she said. She is a reader too. One of The Fellowship. What kindness. To pack my things with her things in case she is needed by me while she is on holiday.
My Good Friend in Chicago is watching the screen ready to snap up the passport when it arrives and drive it out to the airport to meet me on Friday. This is our plan.
Good morning. I feel like I am in one of those suspense filled episodes of a badly scripted sit com. Any minute a voice over will come on saying. “Will the passport ever stop ranting. Will the passport make the plane. Will The Good Friend’s car get its new wheel in time. Will Celi’s head explode making a nasty mess all over the barn. Will the piglets find another hole in their pen. Will Celi ever eat again. Will the Darling Travel Agent’s phone find coverage from the train. Will Celi ever get to leave the farm? EVER. And why does Boo keep bringing her knickers from the washing basket. Stay tuned for the next Episode of Mother of the Groom.”
Have a lovely day. Deep breaths.
your breathLess friend, celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
89 responses to “I am having a nervous breakdown”
Aaaaaargh! The suspense is killing. Maybe you could sell the plot to whoever does the Alfred Hitchcock thing these days!
Sending speedy thoughts to your package….breathe, breathe, breathe. and Just Keep…
I’m picturing that passport somewhere over the Atlantic right now (Thursday AM where I am), winging its way to you! We’re all holding you up, Celi, and thinking good thoughts and looking forward to hearing about the wedding (and seeing a photo of you with a glass of bubbly and a big smile on your face)!
Oh Celie, you have all my sympathy and fellow feeling – my head and other bits of me are exploding too. I will tell all at a later date – you have enough to bother about. Why does Boo wear knickers, or shouldn’t I ask?
Meanwhile, whenever the tension rises, repeat this:
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly
from Max Ehrmann’s Desiderata
Just love that poem! Doesn’t it say something about keeping your head whilst all around are losing theirs??
No – that one is If by Rudyard Kipling! But the advice is still good!
Oh how completely perfect.. serene then, even if i don;t feel it i shall appear serene! Probably easier said than done. hope you new rental has not falllen through Viv! Or the sale! c
Truly I believe that neither rain, nor sleet, nor snow, nor slowly updating DHL computers (tis probably on the US end due to holiday), nor wobbly wheels will keep you from this wedding, celi. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it. Good vibes coming your way…
I have been out of town for several days and am now just catching up on this drama. How horrible and awful and I pray it all works out and you can get to your son’s wedding.
Oh my! What a fiasco! We’re all rooting for the passport: GO PASSPORT GO, GO PASSPORT GO! Get Celi to Canada STAT!!!!
Fingers crossed: check
Toes crossed: check
Legs crossed: oops that was for something else (3 cups of coffee, no less).
Have you looked into the enhanced drivers license to get into Canada? http://www.cic.gc.ca/english/visit/apply-who.asp
Then there’s always crawling over the boarder under the cloak of darkness 😉
Wish that bloody passport would hurry up already – my blood pressure ain’t going to take much more of this!!
Oh dear oh dear oh dear. At least you havent lost your sense of humor. Keeping everything crossed for you.
Oh Dog! This is a nail-biter for sure! Hope yours is still a happy 4th!
Boo is bringing your knickers to you, to remind you not to forget to pack them for your flight on FRIDAY!!
Too many cows. Too many kids. I read your headline and thought, GIRL, grab some Armagnac. It’s the way of Gascony. No one having any breakdowns here. Keep it real with distilled grapes 🙂 Smooth out the troubles. 🙂
Excellent advice,armagnac in my arsenal though I have a couple of bottle of good NZ wine being chilled as we speak! c
I have found that some couriers are notorious about NOT updating! MAGIC thought that the needed passport is in the USA even as I write!!!
(Oh…the little pigs will not stay in the pens, nope, nadda…but they will never stray far from Mom)
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
and they squeak and dart about trying to REfind the hole they got out of in the first place.. Ton and I are finding that herding piglets is a lot harder than herding cats!
Yep! But ever so much cuter!
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
Even with this drama going on, you still have the best sense of humor! I know, if you don’t laugh, you’ll cry. I am sending every shred of good juju your way. I think it will work out, but what a toll on your nerves!
I’m keeping my bag packed, cuz I gotta feeling we are all going to a wedding !!
My mum told me that my eyes would stay crossed if I keep crossing them…I hope she
was wrong !!