The sun is so low that when it does pop out through a crack in the solid grey that is our sky, all our shadows make us look like monsters. Screen left is Boo and screen right is Sheila. Off on our walk.
Everyone wants to check out the compost heap on the way.
Off they go. Boo was not a bother so he can come again, said Ton. As they left him behind.
Without our dear Kupa the hierarchy in the barn has changed – in the bird population. The roosters are scaring the pea hens away from the food. Kupa was such an unassuming bird I had no idea that he protected his girls while they ate. So I feed them upstairs.
Though they do make a habit of climbing into the pig food bins and eating the oats so I am not too worried. I will need to find them a new male though. It seems they need one for more than one reason.
Every farmer has an obsession about the weather and with no TV or radio and even though I do check the weather on the computer I was thrilled with MY Christmas present.
A weather station, it has a gizmo outside on top of the house for telling me wind speed and direction as well. Nothing dramatic yesterday, just bloody cold. (-8.5C). Of course now I am studying barometric pressure.
My ice champagne ice bucket waiting for New Years!..No threat of it melting.
I had a few thoughts yesterday. Some things I would like to see in the New Year.
WHAT IF they designed a movie theatre that had three screens, one in front and one on either side, you would need to shoot the movie with three different cameras simultaneously from three different Points of View but it would be pretty cool as a viewer, we would be right inside the movie, and if they were all 3D, that would be exciting – unless it was a horror movie then it would be horrible.
WHAT IF the supermarket aisles could read your grocery list or your grocery thoughts (some people like me forget to take their lists) and when you start looking for, oh – avocado oil, the sign in that aisle immediately changes to avocado oil, raising itself up and down gently to attract your attention. But only you could see it because the guy next to you is looking for quail eggs or hard wood floor cleaner or a life.
WHAT IF dishwashers were at waist level so you don’t have to bend down to load them and you didn’t have to rinse the dishes clean first covering the floor and your feet in water because you are working too fast because you HATE doing dishes.
WHAT IF houses had those sucky vacuum shutes, like they had in old department stores, in every single room and you opened a little hatch and shoved your laundry in there and woosh it was sucked straight to the machine. And another sucky thing on the wall that just sucked all the dust up.
WHAT IF the lights in your house had batteries. So you could hang them from anywhere and they did not need wires.
WHAT IF you could just throw all your devices in a pile in a special corner of the house or a special box in your car and they were wirelessly recharged. Without plugging in. So you could not lose your charger because you did not need one. You could park your light batteries here too to charge up. Plus possibly a brain or two, I know a number of brains that need a recharge, though I would rather not take my brain out of my head to be charged up ..that sounds a wee bit messy, it might be easier if I sit in the corner with all the other devices as well.
WHAT IF you had a special button on the wall that when you pushed it your cell phone calls out to you – I am over HERE! with flashing lights and wee oo wee oo noises. And one for the car keys too.
WHAT IF you could push another button and the entire wall of your bathroom raises up like a garage door (the one with the bath not the one with the toilet. That would be a mean trick to raise the wall up in the toilet when someone is sitting on the toilet just minding their own business and thinking about nothing much and then there is a click and a whir and the wall begins to roll up. I think that would be rude) and when the wall is raised you can wash the whole bathroom out with the hose then let it dry in the sun, but not today as it is too cold. Everything turns to ice so fast in the cold, the dogs have a drink out of their heated water dish and the drips from their mouths freeze onto the verandah floor and stay there. Daisy has icicles. Imagine what a hose in your bathroom would do.
WHAT IF they had bed units in airports that you can rent for an hour or even two when your plane was held up or you are between flights. Lined up along one wall like lockers. Just a box with a bed and a door that locked and an alarm that you can set. And a little lady at a desk saying mind you are out at 5 exactly or you will be charged for an extra hour and no friends, this is a clean establishment. You could take in your own water and a book.
WHAT IF it was a fashion to have 3 foot high hair-do’s, like the French in the 1700’s, with bird cages in them, how would we fit into our cars? We would be walking about the supermarket with our hair getting stuck in stuff. They would have to have extra staff with long sticks to help you get free. How would I wear my beanie?
WHAT IF women went bald, really bald – like men do, would there still be comb-overs? Were there ever comb-overs, I find it hard to believe.
WHAT IF my eyes were green, not pale blue, would I be a different kind of person?
WHAT IF cats could read your minds and there was nothing to read. You were having one of those perfectly innocent blank moments. Would they feel superior? Do they already?
Do you ever wonder about stuff like that?
May your New Year be full of glory and joy, to help you through the hard bits. There will be hard bits. Life is like a drain, sometimes it gets stopped up with hard bits. Joy is like an orange plunger or a wire brush, it makes things sparkly clean. So I wish you lots of joyful times. But we will be OK you and I, we have The Fellowship – and we are all wearing rubber gloves and wielding plungers. And laughing like drains!
Love your friend on the little farmy
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
78 responses to “My Monsters and I go for a Walk and Wonder about Stuff”
Happy New Year!
Your mind is a marvel! And so full of energy! I love that…you’re ideas are great. Especially the bathroom wall that raises up and lets you just hose everything down for a good dry in the sun. Love it all. And, thank you very much for comparing me and us all to a laughing drain! I feel happier and laugher already! Have a wonderful wonderful New Year, despite the difficult cloggy bits. I know you will.
I may actually do the bathroom wall, now that i think about it, if I can find a roller door small enough, and if you are having a shower but just want air you can raise it just a little! I think I might! c
I’ve always wanted a house which you could hose down, and having moved 17 times in 28 years, I think rubber furniture the way to go, but in use, might have too much bounce for my multiple ounces. I always think carpets should have hands that come out at night and self clean the floor. My what if’s don’t end; glorious to imagine isn’t it; love the shadow portraits of you and Boo and Sheila; enchanting.
Oh carpets with hands, how very hitchcock! c
[…] anyone know why that happens? I’ve just read today’s post on thekitchensgarden and I notice that in the first picture there’s a halo around Celi’s head too. What is […]
The “What-ifs” have opened a Pandora’s box. Lar and I have been drinking our Earl Gray tea and adding “what-ifs” to a list. Then sad things crept in and we decided Celi’s “what-if” list was more entertaining and whimsical. We did like one thing on our list ..”what if we found that the Chicago connection found that Lar was third cousin twice removed from John. Hurrah!! We would be related. A glorious and wonderful 2014 to all on The Farm. XX. V.
Wouldn’t that be just the bees knees, but I have decided we are related any way, Auntie.. c
I am doubled up here and it is all your fault Celi! Three foot hairdos! Add to that the exceptionally high stilettos that are the modern fashion? Love your good wishes for the year ahead and my wish for you is Health and contentment for all at the farmy!
And for you GrannyMar. Contentment is vastly under-rated! c
As distorted as her shadow is, Sheila is so much larger in “real”“` life. She’s sweet as can be but she’s huge, Celi! Interesting that Kupa played guardian and you didn’t know it. I guess the best security is always undetectable. Everyone is talking about the snow but I think the worst of it will hit north of the City — and that’s fine with me. I hope you’re spared, too.
Wishing You, Your John, and The Matriarch a Happy New Year and Wonderful 2014!
John has told me not to hope for snow, but I love it so!! c
I have never seen such creativity. Albeit with minor symptoms of ADD & hyper-manic thinking. I like your way of thinking – delightful & functional at the same time. Many of your “What Ifs” do exist with some minor changes. The big exception may be the bathroom wall that opens like a garage door. You might still be able to get a patent on that one. I never thought of wearing a brid cage in 3 ftl high hair. Texas might be the best place to test that out. Those Texas ladies still love a bee hive doo.
Love the monster shadows. Very artsey fartsey. Woth entering in a photography contest in my useless opinion.
I wonder what other tasks Kuppa had taken on? Guarding the pea hens while they dined was such a gentlemanly thing to do.
Hopefully Owl has been unburdened from his Christmas tree duties by now, I am deconstructing my tree as this afternoon. Time for some decluttering & a carload of stiff taken to Goodwill before the clock strikes midnight.
I hope 2014 brings you everything you need, some of what you want & a few good surprises along the way. I wish you good health, well behaved animals, lots of reasons to laugh & that you find time to enjoy your beautiful guest house for a while.
Thank you ellen, hope you got to goodwill in time, I love ditching stuff that i do not need.. so liberating, and what a wonderful idea to do it today of all days. owl is still wearing his scarfie. it is a bit chilly.. have a great New year.. c
Hello from where 2014 is some 11 hours old and counting 🙂 ! Hmm, love your weather station as have been a ‘weather nut’ since age 3 [well, that was darling Dad’s biggest interest!]. Have one too!! Love the shadow photo, very artsy-craftsy and have ‘borrowed’ it 🙂 ! Love all those ideas, but quite a few of them ARE already there! The three screens cinema I first saw decades ago; many people I know have dishwashers at midlevel [hate to admit have to wash by hand in my small kitchen!] and there are bed cubicles by the hour in quite a few airports – I know Narita has them 🙂 ! And when I lift a glass for lunch on a beautiful 1st here in an hour or two, shall send my best wishes for a far less complicated and very happy 2014 to you!!
Oh misery, and here I was thinking I was being original, i should get out more I suppose! c
But Celi: since you did not know, look at the brilliant imagination you have shown 😉 !!!
2014 is going to be great year, I can just feel it!! c
ni ni mama eha.. c
It better bl . . . . well be, 2013 almost ‘did me in’ 🙂 !! ni-ni!!
Live the dishwasher idea, it’s brilliant.
Yes! have a lovely New Year!.. c
Happy New Year to you and John, Celi. May you have a lot of that joy as your laughter circles the drain. Good health to you, good crops, good fortune.
I so needed to read your wonderfully weird blog tonight after having a “bit” of my own today with a wee car accident while on vacation. The good thing is it is a rental car so not our worry! And since we were not at fault really not our worry! Your ponderings got me to thinking—why don’t we have dishwashers that automatically unload, dryers that automatically fold clothes and toilets that are self cleaning. Oh in the perfect world. Happy New Year!
Oh self cleaning toilets! i want one of those too! So glad you are all safe and retaining your sense of humour after a fender bender, it gives you a terrible fright doesn’t it.. a nice hot cup of tea, with a little sugar, thats what my Mum would recommend.. hope tomorrow is better! c
my dream house has drains in cement floors,plastic furniture, and sprinklrers in the ceiling to clean house for me
don’t forget the old wv superstition, burn your old calenders before midnite, so the bad luck from 2013 wont follow into the new year
Your what-ifs really do make so much sense. My pet peeve is getting up at night having so many little green lights, the clock on the coffe pot, stove, etc. lighting my way. Ugh!
Thank you for such a great year of sharing your daily life. So enjoy your stories and pictures. Happy New Year!
You have some wonderful ideas. I especially liked hosing out the bathroom, but I want one of those in the kitchen, too. The cell phone/keys locater is a definite winner. I would like more options on the vacuum shoot, to be able to use it to return things to the original room from which they came.