We all get to die. This is one of the truths we try very hard not to look in the face. In fact we will say Pass Away, or Passed or Gone. But the truth is these poor bodies we wear when we are dancing, will one day stop dancing at all. They cannot go on forever. So, more important than hiding from the thought of our ending, is the pursuit of our wonderful glorious beginning. Every moment is that beginning. I know this sounds tiring maybe even a little challenging but Dying is OK. We will all do it one day. 
Mama died yesterday. My beautiful big old sheep. I know that sheep are pretty low on the totem pole for many. But she and I (as you know) had spent many, many freezing nights tending to her myriad babies. She always had four at a time and gave birth straight into my hands. She had washed her newborn babies and washed me as well. She had looked me in the eye and refused to speak, then looked back and spoken. She was not clever or startling in any way. Except there was a cable between Mama and I forged over all those years of nights as we worked together feeding her babies. I will miss her. 
The vet came and while I sat on a brick, he talked Mama through the procedure. His student vet held her head ever so gently, my hand in her fleece, as the senior vet gave her a sedative and then the shot that helped her go into her final sleep. It was all so gentle and calm that Marcel continued to sleep tucked in behind her as she closed her eyes and sighed into death – Minty and Tilly stood on the other side like dirty angels, waiting for their next assignment.
I will miss her. But every animal, man, woman, beast and tree has their time. A long time is not necessarily a better time, a short time can be a full time, but for a sheep, Mama had had a good long time. And Mama was ready. She was ready to lay all her burdens down and sleep. My dear old darling. 
Later the vet checked out Daisy and his sewing skills. The teat he had stitched back on the night before last is not as swollen as he had expected and the catheter is still in place and dripping clean milk. He is cautiously pleased. It is possible that she will heal and the quarter might be saved. He did say that he had been thinking about the injury and concluded that because her udder is so long and droopy and full, she gives a lot of milk, he said it is more than likely that she literally stood on it as she winched her considerable body up. Not a nice thought. But she had a good day yesterday, even managing to pick the lock of her perfectly clean stall and take herself out to stand in the cool sunshine.
Today will be a better day, I hope you have a good day too. I am off to find a street corner now. This vet bill is going to be horrendous! But I am deeply grateful that I have a vet who could come to the farm and help me. Deeply grateful.
Ni Ni Mama.
Have a lovely day.
Your friend on the farm,
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
103 responses to “Ni Ni Mama”
What a beautiful eulogy. I can almost hear Mama sigh. Hugs.
Well lived life among friends and those who care. Quiet gentle passing when time. Peace. Well done dance.
Part of the way of the farm or not *giant hugs* a loss is a loss, and I know this was a big one for you. She will forever be remembered and loved through memories and her beautiful babies.
You described this friendship in a way that makes it feels equal to many human relationships… and it sounds like that was the case. I admire you for saying she wasn’t special, but she was a creature you loved. Love is love… sending mental hugs.
So sad to hear about Mama. But as many have said, she lived a well-loved and taken care of life amongst friends, both animal and human. xx
so very sad and so very poignant – Mama was lucky to be with you as you with her.
It is so sad to say goodbye to our loved ones, no matter what species they are. Thinking of you and every species on the farmy. xoxoxo
Beautiful floral tribute for Mama and a gentle way to tell the Fellowship about it. You take your farm responsibilities with genuine care for the welfare of the animals who contribute so much to your welfare, physical and emotional, and those you share their bounty with. I’m sure today will be a better day.
Rest in peace, Mama. And be picky on that street corner, Miss C!
There is not much more I can say than others have. Rest in Peace dear Mama.
Reblogged this on Write Home Sometime and commented:
Beautiful words on life and passing from the amazing Celi.
Farewell Mama ~ on to my rest ~ sleeping peaceful ~ no more discomfort ~ no more difficult caring for me from Mama Celi ~ my best lifetime friend.
She will be deeply missed but Mama took lots of loving care memories with her from all those special moments you were side by side with her. Many of us love our animals so dearly ~ wouldn’t it be nice if all the people in this world would be treated as loving as many of us care for our animals and especially all the care that you, Celi give your beautiful animals. Beautiful pictures of the flowers Celi ~ a nice tribute to Mama. It’s nice that we can let them go to sleep so gently ~ I did the same with my dear 15 yr Pomeranian Klaus ~ the vet came to our house and Klaus laid in my arms ~ gently off to Doggy Heaven.
Memories ~ memories. Carol
Sorry for your loss of your companion, but, once again, grateful that you had good veterinary help for Mama’s last moments.
Mama was a rescue sheep and she knew it. Her life with you was joyful and you kept your promise to care for her to the end. I was expecting to hear this but it was still a shock when I read it. An empty space now in the heart. Your beautiful tribute and the flowers says so much about you, dear Celi. Goodbye Mama. I am happy that Daisy is doing better. Stepping on a tit gives me shudders just thinking about it.
You did the humane thing to do. We treat our animals way better than we do our human counterparts when there is pain and suffering with no hope of recovery.
Mama will have a special place in all our hearts. Her story is a sweet loving story with a happy ending in that she was surrounded by her flock.