We all get to die. This is one of the truths we try very hard not to look in the face. In fact we will say Pass Away, or Passed or Gone. But the truth is these poor bodies we wear when we are dancing, will one day stop dancing at all. They cannot go on forever. So, more important than hiding from the thought of our ending, is the pursuit of our wonderful glorious beginning. Every moment is that beginning. I know this sounds tiring maybe even a little challenging but Dying is OK. We will all do it one day. 
Mama died yesterday. My beautiful big old sheep. I know that sheep are pretty low on the totem pole for many. But she and I (as you know) had spent many, many freezing nights tending to her myriad babies. She always had four at a time and gave birth straight into my hands. She had washed her newborn babies and washed me as well. She had looked me in the eye and refused to speak, then looked back and spoken. She was not clever or startling in any way. Except there was a cable between Mama and I forged over all those years of nights as we worked together feeding her babies. I will miss her. 
The vet came and while I sat on a brick, he talked Mama through the procedure. His student vet held her head ever so gently, my hand in her fleece, as the senior vet gave her a sedative and then the shot that helped her go into her final sleep. It was all so gentle and calm that Marcel continued to sleep tucked in behind her as she closed her eyes and sighed into death – Minty and Tilly stood on the other side like dirty angels, waiting for their next assignment.
I will miss her. But every animal, man, woman, beast and tree has their time. A long time is not necessarily a better time, a short time can be a full time, but for a sheep, Mama had had a good long time. And Mama was ready. She was ready to lay all her burdens down and sleep. My dear old darling. 
Later the vet checked out Daisy and his sewing skills. The teat he had stitched back on the night before last is not as swollen as he had expected and the catheter is still in place and dripping clean milk. He is cautiously pleased. It is possible that she will heal and the quarter might be saved. He did say that he had been thinking about the injury and concluded that because her udder is so long and droopy and full, she gives a lot of milk, he said it is more than likely that she literally stood on it as she winched her considerable body up. Not a nice thought. But she had a good day yesterday, even managing to pick the lock of her perfectly clean stall and take herself out to stand in the cool sunshine.
Today will be a better day, I hope you have a good day too. I am off to find a street corner now. This vet bill is going to be horrendous! But I am deeply grateful that I have a vet who could come to the farm and help me. Deeply grateful.
Ni Ni Mama.
Have a lovely day.
Your friend on the farm,
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
103 responses to “Ni Ni Mama”
Mama will be missed by you, by the Fellowship and by her children. Giving her a peaceful end is the best gift you ever gave her. I’m so sorry you lost your friend, C. Every time I see a snowball hydrangea, I will think of Mama, the good and kind sheep who let me run my hand through her fleece when she ambled over to say hello to me at the farmy. Marcel, Minty and Tilly will be missing her, I’m sure.
My heart hurts for the hole in yours. You allowed Mama to know kindness and love when she wouldn’t have otherwise.
Poignant writing this morning, my sweet friend. I feel so much emotion in today’s post. Words we all think and know, but rarely say. My eyes welled up while reading about your relationship with Mama. It touched a place in my soul that I don’t often visit. You and Mama had something very special – unspoken love and respect between two very different species. The connection we forge with some life forms is the true grist of life. There really are no words to describe losing a good friend and companion – we simply feel it as an ache from deep within.
Am so sorry about Mama….my other half has gotten so attached to your animals, she was crying as she read this blog.We’re glad she went so peaceful.
A good life and a good death – better than a lot of people and most animals. Thank you for loving her.
Eloquent passage – a door will open for money for the vet bill; love your animals, your writing; keep on truck’in
Mama was stoic. I am thankful for your education from her, with her. She lives on this way.
I will miss Mama too. I’m glad she had you to look after her.
Ni ni, Mama. You are a treasure we will always keep close to our hearts. How sweet of Mama’s “dirty angels” to stay close. That IS a painful thought re Daisy. Praying for provision for the Good Vet’s bill. You don’t have time to stand on the street corner! Hugs!
Beautiful words for your dear animal friend. Thinking of you ..
I’m sorry for Mama’s passing but her life with you was a better one and via that Mama has a story and legacy that she would otherwise have not had. The day lilies are a poignant reminder that we all have a limited time to bloom. On a lighter note, I had visions of you on the street corner accompanied by the ever-present members of the Farmy Cast presided over of course by Ton… what a sight to see 🙂
{{{Hugs}}}
Sometimes that is enough.
Your friend a long ways over the mountains.
Linda
http://coloradofarmlife.wordpress.com
RIP Mama! You will be missed and always remembered.
And Cecilia, your words were a beautiful tribute to Mama and the time you spent together. I’m thrilled I had the opportunity to meet her.
Gently, with dignity, surrounded by family.
We should all be so lucky.
Much love to you Celi.
XO
Goodbye, Mama. You will be missed.