We all get to die. This is one of the truths we try very hard not to look in the face. In fact we will say Pass Away, or Passed or Gone. But the truth is these poor bodies we wear when we are dancing, will one day stop dancing at all. They cannot go on forever. So, more important than hiding from the thought of our ending, is the pursuit of our wonderful glorious beginning. Every moment is that beginning. I know this sounds tiring maybe even a little challenging but Dying is OK. We will all do it one day. 
Mama died yesterday. My beautiful big old sheep. I know that sheep are pretty low on the totem pole for many. But she and I (as you know) had spent many, many freezing nights tending to her myriad babies. She always had four at a time and gave birth straight into my hands. She had washed her newborn babies and washed me as well. She had looked me in the eye and refused to speak, then looked back and spoken. She was not clever or startling in any way. Except there was a cable between Mama and I forged over all those years of nights as we worked together feeding her babies. I will miss her. 
The vet came and while I sat on a brick, he talked Mama through the procedure. His student vet held her head ever so gently, my hand in her fleece, as the senior vet gave her a sedative and then the shot that helped her go into her final sleep. It was all so gentle and calm that Marcel continued to sleep tucked in behind her as she closed her eyes and sighed into death – Minty and Tilly stood on the other side like dirty angels, waiting for their next assignment.
I will miss her. But every animal, man, woman, beast and tree has their time. A long time is not necessarily a better time, a short time can be a full time, but for a sheep, Mama had had a good long time. And Mama was ready. She was ready to lay all her burdens down and sleep. My dear old darling. 
Later the vet checked out Daisy and his sewing skills. The teat he had stitched back on the night before last is not as swollen as he had expected and the catheter is still in place and dripping clean milk. He is cautiously pleased. It is possible that she will heal and the quarter might be saved. He did say that he had been thinking about the injury and concluded that because her udder is so long and droopy and full, she gives a lot of milk, he said it is more than likely that she literally stood on it as she winched her considerable body up. Not a nice thought. But she had a good day yesterday, even managing to pick the lock of her perfectly clean stall and take herself out to stand in the cool sunshine.
Today will be a better day, I hope you have a good day too. I am off to find a street corner now. This vet bill is going to be horrendous! But I am deeply grateful that I have a vet who could come to the farm and help me. Deeply grateful.
Ni Ni Mama.
Have a lovely day.
Your friend on the farm,
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
103 responses to “Ni Ni Mama”
Cecilia, I am so sorry for your loss of Mama. As The Fellowship has said, she was rescued from a hellish existence into an idyllic life of happy fields where she belonged, mid-wifed by your loving hands, and in the end, surrounded by her adoring flock. Every sheep should be so blessed .
Mama went through the gates with love all around her, and those memories and gifts to take with her… the only thing that matters – the love she gave and the love she felt – love to you all, lovers on the farmy ,Valerie
I am truly sorry for your loss.
Thinking of you and the loss of your friend, because you were a good friend to Mama as she was to you.
sorry for your loss.
My tears fell into my coffee as I read about Mama, so sorry Celi. Mama wasn’t just a sheep – we got to know her personality through you, and have been with you both through all her many ups and downs. Yes, it was her time, but it doesn’t come any easier to those who loved her. RIP Mama, gone but never forgotten.
On a brighter note, things are looking good for Daisy and I hope she continues to progress. Life goes on…….
Hugs to you.
Tears all over my new lappy already!
Ni Ni Mama ❤
We will miss Mama too. She had a great life and the connection you shared with her is very special. It sounds like everything was peaceful and as it should be. My heart feels heavy for you. Hugs to you dear friend.
Valete Mama! You had a good life till the end which came gently and lovingly . . . . I can just see you gambolling in a sheepie heaven baaing and jumping across white fluffy clouds above us . . . meanwhile huge hugs to you Celi . . . .
You have done her the ultimate kindness, a peaceful, pain free death with the person she trusted most in life nearby. While the bill may be horrendous, a kind, empathetic vet is like gold. I know, I have three. One from one clinic for our dogs – I believe he was as affected as John and I last summer when he eased our old Griffon out of this life under the birch tree in the front yard – two from another clinic, one for the donkey and horses and one for the ‘exotics’ (Percy pig and Otis and Ralph the goats). I would not trade any of them for the world. They have come in a blizzard, they have come in the middle of the night, they always come when I need them. While I might quake when the bill comes it is part and parcel of the agreement I have with my animals, to care for them through this life and into the next. Grieve for yourself in missing Mama but rejoice for her.
I will not press Like. Wish I could help, celi.
You two were the Dynamic Duo 😦 I know each one you say your goodbyes to hurts but you two were so close and again I am so sorry for your loss even knowing each of us will pass this way it hurts no less and yes she will be missed XO Glad Daisy is doing better than expected hope it continues that way. Take care of yourself.
I remember reading (after adopting a dog from a rescue) that when you rescue an animal, it also rescues you. Now feel this is true, we don’t know we need rescuing, but adopting a rescue animal teaches us more compassion, to appreciate life even more and also the power of love. You learned a lot from Mama and thank you for sharing her with us. She lived and died with dignity and grace.
You gave Mama the life she deserved until the very end and she trusted and loved you for this wonderful gift. We all should be so lucky. A big hug for loosing a friend. Take good care of yourself. Gerlinde
I have read your touching post and the sweet comments several times. Thank you for sharing them.
My condolences on Mama’s death. I am very aware of the pain of seeing an animal (dogs in my case) come to the end of their lives, they all know, look at you and just want you there with them. You gave Mama that, you were there with her while she left the shell. It’s obvious from your writings that she loved you and you loved her. You will always have that love. May Mama run free and joyous in the sweet green fields across the rainbow bridge. She’ll be watching over you and waiting for the day you’ll meed again. You gave her a gentle and loving end. Bless you.