Yesterday I swung from one task to the next, achieving nothing, starting stuff and then wandering in another direction and finding myself doing something completely different. Trying to restart the first one again then discovering task number three or four. I left the water running into the sink and forgot to put the water on for the spaghetti. I visited Manu about six times and got all upset because I could not get a decent picture of him. I rearranged bales of hay for no apparent reason. I forgot to feed the chickens.
I did not really settle until I began helping Hugo pack. He did not need help packing but I could not focus on anything else. So I packed and repacked his suitcase.
I forgot to take photographs until the light was almost gone instead I sat on the basement steps and listened to the dryer dry the last of his clothes. Then I listened to the rain, then I sorted through the bottles in the cellar until I unearthed a bottle of red and poured myself a glass. Then I forgot I had poured myself a glass of wine and made a cup of tea.
He asked for spaghetti bolognese with a ” Lot of – Lot of .” Meat for his last dinner.
Molly and Tahiti watched me walk to and fro in the evening with an empty bucket. They are always up on their back legs, front feet on the gates watching – “Don’t you have something to do?” I said to them.” No, Miss C,” they said. “Why don’t you go and play in your garden then.” I said. “We did that already.” they said. Then they watched me walk back to the house with my empty bucket. It started to rain.
Hugo said that when we part in the airport I should say Goodbye, then close my eyes, and when I open them again he will be gone. “Easier that way.” he said.
Who the hell said Parting is such Sweet Sorrow. Juliet. Silly girl. There is nothing sweet about sorrow.
But my world is small you know. Maybe I will go and visit one day! That is possible.
Off we go to the airport then.
Love celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
75 responses to “Pacing”
Safe travels to Hugo!
We will miss that boy, but not as much as you, I think. Parting from those we care about is always disturbing, and I’m not surprised you were at sixes and sevens all day. Your disturbed behaviour sounds like my everyday! There are times I ricochet from job to job, starting everything, finishing nothing. It will settle. I think that shot of the barn in the header is absolutely wonderful; I hope it will make it into the calendar.
Kate, I spend my days in exactly the same way. Can’t seem to get any traction at all!
A friend and I call it grass-hoppering….we don’t have to explain when we ask each other how our day/s have been….just “grass-hoppering”
That’s it exactly, just spinnin’ my wheels!
I love that term grass hoppering – I might adopt it! c
It implies a lightness of foot which doesn’t describe my actions too well! I’m more like one of those poor moths blundering and bumping into the lampshade, only to fly off and bump into another…
At least you have the pigs for company, not to mention all the other animals 😉
I am never short of company that’s for sure and the good things about pigs – Sheila especially is that they are nice a warm to sit your back up against when you want to have a think.. c
I don’t doubt that, especially with Sheila 😉
Oh my, you will miss him. Maybe he will come back to visit the farmy. Safe travels Hugo we will miss you too.
That would be nice but he is very young and is looking for work now, it is time for him to start his life out there in the world.. c
Saying goodbye – for a while or for forever – is disorienting! No wonder you were pacing.
Yes, it will take a few days to get my balance back.. c
Awww Safe travels Hugo! No ‘Goodbye’s’ – ‘Until we meet again”
Could be – who knows but it has been great learning for us both.. c
You have had a run of the most wonderful people at the farm. Do you stay in touch with them? When I start feeling like everything is going away, I touch back with the people I love. Phones are wonderful for that. Email isn’t as good but it’s better than an empty barn. Then I grab a hot cup of tea, a muffin or something, and a good book. Maybe it’s time (after all the fur and feathered people are fed) for you to take a break Celi. You deserve it! Di
I most certainly stay in touch and frequently with the ones who I have gotton close to.. c
Bon Voyage to Hugo. Bon restant to Celi. You two will meet again. And heavens knows, you will find something to do with yourself. Anticipating saying goodbye makes my heart pound & my head swim. It makes me pace too, & it makes me sick.
Yes you have it right there it is the anticipation of it all that is worse sometimes.. c
Bon Voyage, bon chance Hugo 🙂 Miss C, I hope you checked Hugo’s back pack for the ride on mower and Boo. Safe travels. Laura
The poor work horse of a ride on mower is now officially on its last legs – it did not take well to being ridden as a rally car ride on mower but boys needs speed! c
Au revoir is best – until you see each other again. It’s like one of your chicks is leaving the nest 😦
Yes, he is one of my boys now.. c
Yes! A trip to France!
Quite possible actually.. c
I am sure the tale of Hugo and Miss C is not ended, just paused for a while!
Hugo, good luck to you my friend. i hope you have a great reunion with all your family and friends when you get home, and can share lots of love and stories of your stay here. You have a lot of friends on this side of the world that would be glad to see you visit again in the future. And if Miss C is fully booked, there are quite a few of us that would gladly put you up – give you a chance to see other parts of the country!!
I will tell him! I have a few who would like to job hop in the summer – we should put our thinking caps together.. c
Oh I would love the company!
Yes, it’s so sad to say goodbye, especially when you don’t know when you’ll meet again. But how you and your
awesome farm hands have connected and grown from all you have experienced together is so very wonderful, and has, no doubt, made you all even more caring, loving, knowledgable people. That is extremely special, and will always be a part of each of you. xo
It is special isn’t it – an amazing experience having people to stay and work like that – i had no idea it would broaden my horizons so much
I am like that with my work at the moment… and not actually finishing anything. I need to shut myself off from distraction (and reading blogs…) A bientot, hopefully, rather than goodbye. My sister and I decided that we wouldn’t say goodbye, but just give each other a good hug and a see you later. We’re getting better at the parting! Its difficult and disorientating. Be kind to yourself, and safe travels for Hugo.
Ha ha ! My daughter and I are the same. Like you we made a pact – it is kiss kiss, SEE YA and we launch ourselves AT SPEED in the opposite directions.. people who see it are appalled – not thinking that we are txting each other almost immediately@! c
Oh, Celi, leaves always are so heavy to handle. No wonder that you have been so distraught. I had many, many leaves in my life. Sometimes it tears one apart. It always made me cry and so sad. As you said “last dinner” I automatically read “last supper”. Oh my. I hope you can manage it anyway to get over it. As there is the long way back in your car – the concentration on road and on traffic will draw your attention off a bit and when you will be home there will be the animals awaiting you. And yes, a big big emptiness will be there, too. I feel with you, Celi. Got tears in my eyes….
It is the way and Hugo is off to start his big life after giving himself time to settle and recover after starting his life off on the wrong foot – now he will do well i am sure. c