Yesterday I swung from one task to the next, achieving nothing, starting stuff and then wandering in another direction and finding myself doing something completely different. Trying to restart the first one again then discovering task number three or four. I left the water running into the sink and forgot to put the water on for the spaghetti. I visited Manu about six times and got all upset because I could not get a decent picture of him. I rearranged bales of hay for no apparent reason. I forgot to feed the chickens.
I did not really settle until I began helping Hugo pack. He did not need help packing but I could not focus on anything else. So I packed and repacked his suitcase.
I forgot to take photographs until the light was almost gone instead I sat on the basement steps and listened to the dryer dry the last of his clothes. Then I listened to the rain, then I sorted through the bottles in the cellar until I unearthed a bottle of red and poured myself a glass. Then I forgot I had poured myself a glass of wine and made a cup of tea.
He asked for spaghetti bolognese with a ” Lot of – Lot of .” Meat for his last dinner.
Molly and Tahiti watched me walk to and fro in the evening with an empty bucket. They are always up on their back legs, front feet on the gates watching – “Don’t you have something to do?” I said to them.” No, Miss C,” they said. “Why don’t you go and play in your garden then.” I said. “We did that already.” they said. Then they watched me walk back to the house with my empty bucket. It started to rain.
Hugo said that when we part in the airport I should say Goodbye, then close my eyes, and when I open them again he will be gone. “Easier that way.” he said.
Who the hell said Parting is such Sweet Sorrow. Juliet. Silly girl. There is nothing sweet about sorrow.
But my world is small you know. Maybe I will go and visit one day! That is possible.
Off we go to the airport then.
Love celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
75 responses to “Pacing”
I know that good byes are difficult. I have said my share of them but I have a feeling you and Hugo will be together again some day. What a great experience for him to live with you for so long. God speed, Hugo!
We spent some time laughing about when he first came – it seems like a LONG time ago now.. in fact this whole summer was long!.. c
Safe travels to Hugo who has made a huge place in all of our hearts my friend. XOXO – Bacon
Hi Bacon! Thank you.. c
No endings truly, just continuations until you meet up with Hugo again. You both have shared much over these months and will surely find some way back together for a visit…
I always think that there can be perfect relationships in the space of only a few months – it is ok to allow a natural ending – but maybe I will get there one day – maybe.. c
Aaah, bless you, c. I’ve said goodbye so many times to family and friends, and it breaks my heart every time. I hope your heart is soon filled with joyous memories of your time with Hugo.
You do know Misky. But to be alive and have children means saying goodbye – often.. .. c
Au revoir et bon voyage Hugo. Bon chance. I know it’s hard to see him go after such a long visit. I suspect Hugo will be back next year and I’m sure you both will be in touch. You should Skype. Hang in there, Celi. Your next adventure is around the corner.
Skype is wonderful isn’t it. We use Whatsapp – it is free for calls, photos, video as long as you are close to the wifi – it is a wonderful app.
I am absolutely useless with farewells. Sob each time.
Have a happy day and sending you a warm hug so the farewell may be easier than you hoped.
🙂 Mandy xo
We love hugs – thank you mandy!! c
It is clear to all of us why your day was so muddled: Hugo’s departure. Saying goodbye is never easy. I don’t care how many times you do it. Never easy.
Never easy – and always muddled.. but we had a good goodbye and now he is off into his next life.. c
My heart aches for you. I understand that kind of lose and it is lose. You grieve in a small way but you grieve. Giant squishy hugs.
We have a great time – thank you got the hugs with squishs!
A sad goodbye and Bon voyage to Hugo. A trip to France would be a fun thing to plan! Soon your farm will demand its share of your attention and all will be calm. I can picture Sheila in a fashionable hat on a train in the French countryside.
Yes smuggling Sheila in may pose a problem ! c
Oh Cecilia, it’s like losing one of your children, especially poignant in light of the crisis in France. Very sad. The idea above to do Skype is a great one. Amazing really.
Molly and Yahiti are just so cute up on their hind legs watching watching. I hope all your creatures are some comfort.
Those are two cute pigs.. skype is pretty amazing! c
heh heh — no way to top moonwatcher51’s comment about Sheila on a train in the French countryside, so I won’t even try. Just sending another hugggg along, to add to all those ahead of me here. Oh, and Kate’s comment about the header photo — yes, it is a real beauty. I have gone back to look at it more than once. Hang in there, Miss C. ~ Mame 🙂
Thank you Mame tomorrow I start the calendar so I will put the barn shot into the mix and see what we come up with! c
Oh Cinders…tears here…he’ll be back or you’ll be there…one way or another, like someone said…this is just a pause. And oh my, that visual of Shelia in her fancy hat riding through the French countryside…now if that doesn’t make one smile…nothing will. I know you’re not a hugger but I’m sending one anyway!
Oh no! Celi’s not a hugger? Sad. I not only am a hugger, I’m a kisser. I kiss everything and everyone. I am “The Mad Kisser” from when my twin nephews were little. I’d say, “The Mad Kisser strikes again!” and start kissing their little necks. They knew that all they had to do was to kiss my cheek and I’d stop. So, Celi, on the day we finally meet, you’ve got TWO things to worry about. Heheh. Lots of love to you and the Farmy and the Fellowship, Gayle, puckering up…
Chris – not to worry – no tears you know!! I don’t mind virtual hugs.. c
Au-revoir et Bon voyage, Hugo!
Celi I was playing the same job hop game on Friday when Elly was flying to the Middle East via CDG airport. Silly really since she has been independent since she was eighteen years old and living (now) 125 miles away from me. I am sure that when you got back, things settled back into your normal rhythm.
Your daughter moves about so fast, my sister is in Israel but no matter where people are we all worry don’t we – just a bunch of worriers. c
She sure does! Due home on Sunday with enough time to clear her dest and wash her smalls before heading to Dalian, China on 2 December – all work! When she goes behind their firewall, WhatsApp is the only way to communicate.
It’s always the way when things discombobulate us. A strand of that web that connects The Fellowship is now attached to Hugo as he heads back to France.
Yes, he has enjoyed being part of our big team.. c
I can read the hurting in your heart. I’m glad you’ve had this time together, so sweet as to make this parting painful. Please do go visit.
I really do hope I can – i would LOVE to see the french countryside.. c