The thing with disappointment is that you just have to swallow and deal with it. I think the actual swallow is pretty important to this process. Like a pause. A stand on the one foot. The stillness. The re-evaluation- once again- after all this time, seeing for sure that your plans were for naught. 
Poppy the young Hereford sow is in full blown heat. Not pregnant at all. I cannot ignore it. I am disappointed. Actually very disappointed – I really thought that getting a boar was a good idea. He bred her in three different cycles. I saw this. He was vigorous, she was willing. Then while I was away she must have cycled again. But no issue. And we all know that she is fertile. Lets hope that Manu is breeding the two gilts he has in there with him at the moment (which is why I cannot start Poppy all over again – there would be no room at the inn). 
I could just spit. I have so many people wanting to buy her piglets. And every one of these errors takes months to play out. But there you are. Re-balance Cecilia. Re-balance. Beware the dangers of smugness.
And the eggs we bought at the Bantam Swap are going rotten, one after the other we are removing rotten eggs from the incubator. The smell is evil.
Swallow. One foot up. Watch. Find your balance. Be still. Place the foot down and continue. Find the balance – even when you want to Spit with disappointment. 
But this is not what I want to focus on. Inaki left today. He has been a superb member of the farm , a stunning man and has achieved so much in his short four weeks here. I will miss him. He will leave a legacy of tremendous laughter and Basque food and chickens and a brilliant start on the gardens. And a real life Mountain of compost. And some really eloquent Spanish curse words as there are no swear words in Basque.
Occasionally I find real friends amongst my woofing guest workers. Inaki is such a friend.
Aren’t written words funny. How we collect and arrange and rearrange letters that look like sticks and dots and crosses and roundy things to imitate sounds transferred to a page and other people can make sense of those sticks and dots and crosses and roundy things and pronounce the sounds and understand. And we have to get the spelling right or the people will not understand what it is we mean to say. This code we use to communicate. These squiggles and crosses that we cannot do without. This strange thing called writing. As arrogant as it is humble. And so powerful. So lasting.
Talking of squiggles and crosses I must write up the board. After waving a miserable farewell to Inaki we are getting straight back to work. And Conor is roaring through his list of work. Starting with cookies. My breakfast coookies.
I hope you have a lovely day. Let’s not talk about Poppy and rotten eggs and waving goodbye to souls who matter. What are YOU up to today. Anything interesting?
Love celi
c
The Kitchen's Garden 
44 responses to “I don’t know the title today”
Hi Ceil! Sorry to hear about the bummer things today, but you ended on an upbeat note, so that’s encouraging!! I had never thought about words and language that way before. How enlightening!! Loved your analogy. Slowly but surely, I am gaining strength and being able to do more and more. Hopefully all the surgeries,treatments, etc are behind me. Worked in the garden today, planted a few more tomatoes and cucumbers. Feels so good to be able to bend and get my hands in the soil after being sick and unable to for so long. As I was weeding my flowers, my thoughts went to you and how much you enjoy weeding. To be honest, I’d never thought about weeding as being an enjoyable exercise before. But, today it was, thanks to you putting the idea in my head. Your posts have meant so much over the years, especially during this last adventure. It’s the first thing I search for and read every morning. Thank you for taking the time to keep all of us an active part of your farmy, if only in our minds. Have a great weekend!
Cinders, just when you think things couldn’t get any worse…you look up and are graced with that stunning sunset, you have managed to capture so beautifully with your camera. Wow! Not many get to see things in nature quite like that so thank-you for sharing it with all of us! And don’t worry…I think all your young men will be back…someday!
How many heartfelt personal stories have fitted under these incredibly beautiful skies for todays’ post! Time seems to rush ever faster: can’t believe Inaki was with you for a whole month . . . am so glad the guys have made such a change to the farmy! And left memories . . . Fede, Hugo, inaki and others . . . just so hope you can manage a return visit to Europe somehow soon . . . wouldn’t it be luvverly . . .
My son’s Army unit has left Iraq and will be home soon – whole physically and mentally. There no bigger joy!
Be happy, Mother! For so many it does not end that way . . . May the sun shine . . .
I’m late in for this post and I too am disappointed about Poppy. I have ventured into the world of sour dough bread and amazed how variable the results can be. Last Thursday I had 3 eager recipients waiting for their loaves and I produced 3 crispy pancakes, sigh. This morning I have mixed up 2 more batches of dough and there we go again. Take a deep breath and carry on. Love love Laura
So sorry to know that u are disappointed. You try so hard with your animals…but never mind …pick yourself up,brush yourself down, and start all over again. This is a line from a show but which one i do not know but at this instance it seems appropriate….love P
Sometimes life is not as nice to us as we think it should be but with me, I just throw myself into cooking. Made the best scones ever yesterday – will post on my blog next week.
Beautiful images Celi .. Sorry about Poppy
Brilliant and thoughtful writing today… you speak to my soul on this one. I’ve had terrible luck with chicks this year. The killing fox is hunting the woodlands ferociously and I find myself hating predators. We’ve had problems with dogs running through our woodlands and property – there are tracks everywhere. Snakes seem to be thriving – we have already seen several copperheads around the house. And, there’s been an onslaught of mice and rats in our buildings. It’s as if all of nature is presenting one problem after another. And the last straw would be that I have no idea how I injured myself but I’m down in the back and must not do anything the last two weeks. It is easy to be disappointed. Life is difficult so much of the time… but there is also good, and miracles, and yes – balance, in it all. And you write of the power and awe of words. I wonder how it would be if we could communicate thoughts and feeling telepathically?
You dazzled me with your prairie sunsets. Such glory is rare here on the west coast. We are fortunate – living on the delta – we have a wide sweeping view (much like the prairies). The sunsets are generally gentile. Delicate colours. Whisps of thoughts. Not at all like the outrageous, bigger and bolder than live sunsets of back home. Thank you for the glory.
I want breakfast cookies. Probably more nutritious than lunchtime M&Ms.
I’m sorry Poppy is still open. How frustrating! When the time is right, you’ll have piglets. Perhaps 3 litters would overwhelm the farmy.
Are you willing to share some Spanish curse words? Just for fun?
What beautiful skies! You asked what we’re up to: I’ve returned from my travels and trying to see what all I’ve missed!