I don’t know the title today

The thing with disappointment is that you just have to swallow and deal with it. I think the actual swallow is pretty important to this process. Like a pause. A stand on the one foot.  The stillness. The re-evaluation- once again- after all this time, seeing for sure that your plans were for naught. blossoms

Poppy the young Hereford sow is in full blown heat.  Not pregnant at all. I cannot ignore it.  I am disappointed. Actually very disappointed – I really thought that getting a boar was a good idea. He bred her in three different cycles.  I saw this. He was vigorous, she was willing. Then while I was away she must have cycled again.  But no issue.  And we all know that she is fertile. Lets hope that Manu is breeding the two gilts he has in there with him at the moment (which is why I cannot start Poppy all over again – there would be no room at the inn). sky

I could just spit. I have so many people wanting to buy her piglets. And every one of these errors takes months to play out. But there you are. Re-balance Cecilia. Re-balance.  Beware the dangers of smugness.

And the eggs we bought at the Bantam Swap are going rotten, one after the other we are removing rotten eggs from the incubator. The smell is evil.

Swallow. One foot up. Watch. Find your balance. Be still. Place the foot down and continue. Find the balance – even when you want to Spit with disappointment. sky

But this is not what I want to focus on. Inaki left today.  He has been a superb member of the farm , a stunning man and has achieved so much in his short four weeks here. I will miss him.  He will leave a legacy of tremendous laughter and Basque food and chickens and a brilliant start on the gardens. And  a real life Mountain of compost. And some really eloquent Spanish curse words as there are no swear words in Basque.

Occasionally I find real friends amongst my woofing guest workers.  Inaki is such a friend.


Aren’t written words funny. How we collect and arrange and rearrange letters that look like sticks and dots and crosses and roundy things to imitate sounds  transferred to a page and other people can make sense of those sticks and dots and crosses and roundy things and pronounce the sounds and understand.  And we have to get the spelling right or the people will not understand what it is we mean to say. This code we use to communicate. These squiggles and crosses that we cannot do without. This strange thing called writing. As arrogant as it is humble. And so powerful. So lasting.

Talking of squiggles and crosses I must write up the board. After waving a miserable farewell to Inaki we are getting straight back to work. And Conor is roaring through his list of work. Starting with cookies. My breakfast coookies.

I hope you have a lovely day. Let’s not talk about Poppy and rotten eggs and waving goodbye to souls who matter. What are YOU up to today. Anything interesting?

Love celi










44 Comments on “I don’t know the title today

  1. The gentle spring rain has come, all last night and over the morning, it came like a mist, and the world around me has turned green, the pasture is greening up, the moss on the old tree’s almost glows today.. the woolly sheep are tucked into the barn, as I plan to shear them this weekend and want dry wool.. the lambs are tucked in as well, because yesterday two wolves cross over the big field and I am always the careful one.. there is Banana Bread baking and cold rhubarb crisps to have a hot tea later in the day.. Hugs to you! I know we have not meet in person and we might or we might not.. but I call you friend none the less.

  2. That sounds like such a disappointment, but I’m glad to hear it is ending with cookies. Cookies make everything better.
    You reminded me of a Basque man I used to work with who was one of my favorites, and he loved to swear like a sailor in English.

  3. I am at lunch while at my desk at my day job, Miss C. … wishing I were out with my animals. I would also like to be out planting in my garden and flowers, but it is way too wet for that, so, sigh, I may as well be at work, earning my paycheck. I intend to be outside LOTS tomorrow. 🙂 Have a good, re-balancing, weekend.

  4. I am keeping an eye on my sheep. It is getting close to lambing day and my expectations and anxiety are rising, hoping all will go well. You know what that is all about Celi, watching and waiting and hoping for a good outcome. Sometimes it comes, and sometimes it doesn’t.

  5. oh my let me think- I am waiting for the middle of May before I even dare plant my veggies- where we live the weather can be a pesky imp!
    But there you have it- we could live elsewhere- but for now we’ll put up with the pesky impish climate because it is so gorgeous to live here.

  6. A sky so spectacular squiggly lines and crosses cannot begin to describe.

  7. A sky so spectacular no amount of squiggly lines and crosses can begin to describe.

  8. Beautiful pics of the sky. I am unpacking and doing laundry. I find that therapeutic. Goes in dirty, comes out clean. Fresh start. A bit shocked at the change of temperature between La Peneta Jaltemba and Lockport, Manitoba, but I’ll get over it. Put on warm socks. Hope your plans sort themselves out. Cheers!

  9. “But little Mouse, you are not alone,
    In proving foresight may be vain:
    The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men
    Go often askew…”
    So sayeth Robert Burns, at any rate.
    I have spent a lovely morning searching out something online and now, just as “Just Another Day On The Farm” above, I will go and make a banana loaf. I have some walnuts this time and am looking forward to using them in the loaf — so, as you can see, nothing terribly earth-shaking going on here. Just checking my balance. Have a brighter day. ~ Mame 🙂

  10. Oh Dear – let’s not dwell on negative as I have enough negative to sink me to the bottom of Lake Michigan I’m sure.

    The sun is shining – it’s 80 degrees – there is LOVE in my life – and so many blessings to count.

    From my office in South Fort Worth – I am watching a male turkey (wild) STRUT his STUFF over in the grass. A blue jay is tormenting a squirrel and a male cardinal is flitting between the trees with a female perched in the tree outside my window. MEN! All the active ones are MALES – Dancing a SPRING jig. While us females just look on with a grin. (I’m sure there is a hen turkey somewhere over in the shade watching that big boy)

    In addition – there is a family of red tail hawks that nest in the top of the cell tower. So I watch them circle every so often. They must be nesting as one is always on the nest when I look up.

    Who would think – here I am in a high tech job at a manufacturing company – and I am able to enjoy such nature. Were I on the other side of the building I could look at the river and all the river birds. See – there is one blessing for me to count.

    HUGS!!!!!! and Love!!!!!!

  11. I’m really sad for your (and Poppy’s) disappoitment. And it must add to the sadness to lose Inak. I hope you are cheered some by those magnificent skies.

    The clever farmer across the way really knew his stuff: he made his hay in the one three-day sunny window, and it’s rained ever since his machines left the field. Now we’re surrounded by dense fog.

    I hope the Farmy produces happier times from now on.
    lots of love,
    ViV xox

  12. It is a quiet day here as the clouds and rain move back in after an odd April hot spell, however my plants will be happy. Breakfast cookies…what is in them besides oats I imagine? I would love a recipe that isn’t basically sugary sweet with the occasional nut and oat. I make breakfast muffins with almond flour – for the protein – and other healthful things, but no sugar at all. Sweetness comes from banana and a bit of dry fruit.
    Here’s to brighter days ahead 🙂

  13. I HAD TO cut the grass today. Son is here before he deploys overseas next week. Daughter and 2 grandkids come later today for a party.

  14. I am wondering why I don’t stand outside more often and look at the sky. We don’t have a horizon such as yours; many trees color and then shade our days, so that to see the evening above I have to look almost straight up. That’s another reason why I am grateful for your photographs. They remind me to wonder. Last night I went out late with the trash and saw a moving sky: clouds that seemed grey in the center and lit up in bright neon around the edges,; a moon circle , bright as a train light, riding along behind the clouds. I should have stayed still a while and looked. I like it that you are so busy yet take time to look through your camera house window.

  15. Sorry about Poppy!

    I too needed to take a deep breath today. Hubby’s job relocated us to the DFW area 4 months ago. We sold our house in Illinois and have been looking for a house in the booming housing market down here. We put an offer in on a house last week and the offer was accepted. This week we got the home inspection done and the inspector suggested we have a roofing company come look at the roof. End result – the roof needed to be replaced because of hail damage. The seller refused to submit a claim to insurance to have the roof replaced, so today we discontinued our pursuit of the house. Now we start all over.

    This is a tough process. Lots of houses being built and lots of houses on the market, but only a handful meet our criteria and it’s a race to get an offer in and accepted before a better offer is made. More deep breaths for my first world problems 🙂

  16. I had a midwife’s appointment today and was told that, if I were to go into labor from this point on, they wouldn’t do anything to stop it. It’s hard to believe I’m already at that point! This is baby #2, and for some reason it’s much harder to believe there’s really a real baby in there again.

    In “homesteading” news, I’ve let a terrible number of eggs pile up — I’m afraid to count now; it must be over six dozen. (From five hens!) But I’ve got everything to make a bunch of quiches for the freezer, as well as two big pans of brownies. So, if nothing else, there will be plenty of quiche and brownies to survive on after the baby arrives. I know my toddler daughter would be pleased with that diet!

  17. Farm animals can be so frustrating sometimes. I hope things look up for you soon with the piggies.

  18. I tried twice before much early today to post a comment with NO SUCH LUCK. UGH

  19. Just keeping it real that farming is not for the faint of heart! The sunset photos are lovely.

  20. hee hee – you just cannot rush these things “Grandma wannabe” hee hee…I agree with Ikoepflel – Farmin is not for the faint of heart – but the last word is key – HEART – you must have it in your heart or it will never work. Patience, time, (stop peeking into the pens to see if she got lucky – hee hee) and it will all be good!! May be you just need to step back (or sit in a nice porch chair) and take stock of what you do have showing up right now? We have tons of newbies – plants and animals. Nature knows what she’s doing (most days LOL).

  21. Bugger… about Poppy but time will tell with Molly & Tahiti.
    We’ve been doing a bit of sucking it up here too… we’ve had to put our holiday at home on hold to attend to house maintenance we’d hope would wait a while. The G.O. has been digging & laying bricks under the house -restumping, a horrible job- and I have been washing the whole house inside, surfaces, curtains, etc with clove oil to combat a mould attack… our sub-tropic summer & autumn has been very warm & damp.
    But also at the end of each day, there are lovely sunsets and compensations of a simple & good life in the country-coastal hinterland.
    However, it is ANZAC Day on Monday, so we have given ourselves a long weekend, and it feels glorious to have 3 x R&R days ahead of us ☺
    Your words describing Inaki make me very happy, it’s such a good thing to make real connections with people.

  22. The Basques may not have a suitable curse, but the Italians do: Porca Miseria! I cannot imagine why Poppy has failed to take, all your creatures have the healthiest, happiest life of any animals I know, but sometimes Nature does know her stuff. I’d like to sit you down, Miss C, and give you a big cup of tea and a large slice of warm, freshly baked lemon syrup drizzle cake. It’s like the sun coming out in your mouth. And I also want to thank you for the simply beautiful arrangements of squiggles, crosses, sticks and roundy things which bring us all so much pleasure every day.

  23. I heard someone say yesterday ‘let’s not mourn the loss but celebrate what we had’. We celebrate friends like Inaki. I have thought many times about the importance of our squiggles and crosses arrangements, quite remarkable and no wonder they are ever evolving. Hugs to you. xx

  24. We had a beautiful day here, surprising, as it was forecast to be rainy. I enjoyed the company of my goats and did more spring/Passover cleaning, cleaning, cleaning. We are not very religious, but I like a cleaner and more organized house to be ready for the holiday. It just makes me feel good. And now we are having a beautiful run up to sundown, but nothing as gorgeous as in your photo.

    I certainly understand the breeding predicament you are in. We had a breeding mess last autumn and then lost a baby goat this spring, to what, we do not know yet. I am taking my deep breaths, and loving the life that I do have around me. I am glad that you made a good connection with Inaki. It’s always difficult to say goodbye to those people, but he will remain in your life, I am sure. You have a special talent for making very beautiful connections. It’s all good :*)

  25. work was really busy today, then my mother called all upset about some things that I am not responsible for. It was very hard to be sweet and patient but I was. The day has improved. Cat and dog “helped” me get the sheets off the bed by jumping on it and chasing under the sheets. Then seeing your great photos which always brighten the day. Sorry about the things you have had to deal with today. Maybe you will want to bake something. That is what I will be doing!

  26. Hi Ceil! Sorry to hear about the bummer things today, but you ended on an upbeat note, so that’s encouraging!! I had never thought about words and language that way before. How enlightening!! Loved your analogy. Slowly but surely, I am gaining strength and being able to do more and more. Hopefully all the surgeries,treatments, etc are behind me. Worked in the garden today, planted a few more tomatoes and cucumbers. Feels so good to be able to bend and get my hands in the soil after being sick and unable to for so long. As I was weeding my flowers, my thoughts went to you and how much you enjoy weeding. To be honest, I’d never thought about weeding as being an enjoyable exercise before. But, today it was, thanks to you putting the idea in my head. Your posts have meant so much over the years, especially during this last adventure. It’s the first thing I search for and read every morning. Thank you for taking the time to keep all of us an active part of your farmy, if only in our minds. Have a great weekend!

  27. Cinders, just when you think things couldn’t get any worse…you look up and are graced with that stunning sunset, you have managed to capture so beautifully with your camera. Wow! Not many get to see things in nature quite like that so thank-you for sharing it with all of us! And don’t worry…I think all your young men will be back…someday!

  28. How many heartfelt personal stories have fitted under these incredibly beautiful skies for todays’ post! Time seems to rush ever faster: can’t believe Inaki was with you for a whole month . . . am so glad the guys have made such a change to the farmy! And left memories . . . Fede, Hugo, inaki and others . . . just so hope you can manage a return visit to Europe somehow soon . . . wouldn’t it be luvverly . . .

    • Be happy, Mother! For so many it does not end that way . . . May the sun shine . . .

  29. I’m late in for this post and I too am disappointed about Poppy. I have ventured into the world of sour dough bread and amazed how variable the results can be. Last Thursday I had 3 eager recipients waiting for their loaves and I produced 3 crispy pancakes, sigh. This morning I have mixed up 2 more batches of dough and there we go again. Take a deep breath and carry on. Love love Laura

  30. So sorry to know that u are disappointed. You try so hard with your animals…but never mind …pick yourself up,brush yourself down, and start all over again. This is a line from a show but which one i do not know but at this instance it seems appropriate….love P

  31. Sometimes life is not as nice to us as we think it should be but with me, I just throw myself into cooking. Made the best scones ever yesterday – will post on my blog next week.

  32. Brilliant and thoughtful writing today… you speak to my soul on this one. I’ve had terrible luck with chicks this year. The killing fox is hunting the woodlands ferociously and I find myself hating predators. We’ve had problems with dogs running through our woodlands and property – there are tracks everywhere. Snakes seem to be thriving – we have already seen several copperheads around the house. And, there’s been an onslaught of mice and rats in our buildings. It’s as if all of nature is presenting one problem after another. And the last straw would be that I have no idea how I injured myself but I’m down in the back and must not do anything the last two weeks. It is easy to be disappointed. Life is difficult so much of the time… but there is also good, and miracles, and yes – balance, in it all. And you write of the power and awe of words. I wonder how it would be if we could communicate thoughts and feeling telepathically?

  33. You dazzled me with your prairie sunsets. Such glory is rare here on the west coast. We are fortunate – living on the delta – we have a wide sweeping view (much like the prairies). The sunsets are generally gentile. Delicate colours. Whisps of thoughts. Not at all like the outrageous, bigger and bolder than live sunsets of back home. Thank you for the glory.

  34. I want breakfast cookies. Probably more nutritious than lunchtime M&Ms.

    I’m sorry Poppy is still open. How frustrating! When the time is right, you’ll have piglets. Perhaps 3 litters would overwhelm the farmy.

    Are you willing to share some Spanish curse words? Just for fun?

  35. What beautiful skies! You asked what we’re up to: I’ve returned from my travels and trying to see what all I’ve missed!

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