I am popping in for a wee hullo. To share a cup of coffee with you.
Just to let you know that while we are warm and still here in California. (No wind – what a joy.) At home on the farm back in Illinois it is freezing – literally. But all is well – Jake took over for few days and he says everyone is OK – even the chicks, who I worry about the most. And John is back at the helm today. 
The days will race past here I think.
When I set up this blog I gave myself three challenges. one: Create a page a day and images each day from the farm, only the farm- just my acres. My idea was to push my mind to find new things to see and comment on from one small space. To extend my photography to see the smallness of life and capture it as an interesting image. And to become a better documentor of images. two: To be absolutely current, and three: to tell the truth no matter how boring that may be. Unless I am travelling, then rule number one does not apply but the other rules do. Of course. She smiles.
And the tick tick of life is not full of surprises and dramas; just ordinary work. It is often quite delightfully boring though isolating. But I think I am achieving my objectives. I am well pleased.
I hope that deep down we all feel honest quiet pleasure in a good job done. It is a balance. We strive to reach our emotional balance – an oxymoron maybe. At the very least emotional balance is hard to achieve let alone maintain. Maybe recognising it is the most important thing. But when we reach that balanced landing we see ourselves clearly to be individual, exceptional, special and distinct from others in ways only we can know. In these moments the clarity of our own inner selves pulls into focus. Emotional balance is constantly strived for. But it is mercurial. Hard to pin down. But when we sit in it we know we are special. We must leave our safe landing to strive forward but a little emotional balance tucked into a quiet corner of our pockets on the journey is a good thing.
I am trying to find another word for special that does not mean separate (or cheap) because human nature, in fact nature itself pushes hard at anything that is different or held separate. We adjust our accents so we can be understood in the shops, the tall guy stoops so he does not stand out too high above others, we wear muted colours so as not to attract predators or bright colours to blend with our flocks. Our cars are in shades that do not attract attention. We create families and networks. If a traffic cop pulls into the traffic behind us we go exactly the same speed with exactly the same detached expression as all the other drivers. We spend a lot of time trying to fit in and disappear. Eyes lowered in the lift. Adjusting out stride to match the walking crowds around us. All these are natural things – good things really – natural.
And all this works the best when we have the knowledge of the sure power of our own worth. We are special and unique. We are worthy and deserving of good things. I don’t mean the good things that other people give to you – many of those things are earned one way or the other. And I don’t mean that we are deserving of self gratifying fleeting treats like wine and ice-cream. I don’t mean that we are special or better so we can lord it over others and tell THEM how to be, I mean we are deserving of our OWN respect, we are deserving of our own time and care and encouragement and management. Not to stand out from the crowd, but to stand Up for ourselves. The knowledge of our own exceptional qualities will be humbling. It is a gentle thing. A private thing. It is not for Sharing. It is for knowing. It is honest and still.
Too often souls get lost in the storm of life. And seeing them find their balance again is a wondrous thing. Then they can take the knowledge of that balance into the next storm. And that is good.
I hope you have a lovely day.
celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
74 responses to “from miss c”
J > You’ve articulated so clearly and well what I increasingly feel: that happiness and fulfillment come from experiencing what you have and where you are more deeply, than claiming of life than you can actually experience anything more than superficially.
I think a lot of it comes from actually standing still and thinking – like you do when you lean on a gate you attached to a fence you built yourself and quietly watch the sheep graze. It is good to know what you are good at. c
[…] via from miss c — thekitchensgarden […]
Reading this has reminded me to be mindful. You are right, it is hard to remain anchored in the storm of 9-5 commuting and day to day professional responsibility.
This post made me think of ‘Desiderata’. I keep a print of that on the wall of my workspace and have done since I first read it over forty years ago. Around it, I add printouts of blogs and things I have read that resonate with my views on life These additions aren’t permanent like Desiderata. They are a small and ever-changing mini exhibition.
I will probably add an excerpt from this post for a few days this week; …..and a photo of Sheila. 🙂
Thanks.
Oh the Desiderata – I had forgotton all about that and being a teenager of the 70’s we all knew it by heart and used to chant it to each other! – thank you – I am going to print it out myself and hang it on the wall too. Imagine him wiritng that in the 20’s – right between those awful wars. I must go back and read more about the author – I have forgotton almost everything I had read about him too!
Perhaps we should consider ourselves pieces in a big jigsaw puzzle? All pieces are unique in form with interlocking bits that ultimately form a bigger picture – all the pieces have great worth because without one the picture would be incomplete. Laura
Yes, that is a marvellous way of looking at our lives. And that would explain what happens when our shape gets altered and we don’t quite fit anymore. c
How I wonder where these thoughts came from today. I need to reread this. It was full up between all the lines.
Full up between all the lines. You have such a way with words.. c
Well, Cecilia, I too am shy…would rather die than go to a party…any party. Even family get-togethers. Cannot handle groups. And feel like I need to apologize for living. Better stop there!!
Yes, you can stop there. I understand what you are saying completely. There is nothing in the book that says we ALL have to be gregarious and good with people. Maybe one day you will be brave enough to come to the farm and just sit in the barn with calves or piglets or whatever is going on in there. You can perch on my little barn stool and just stay a while. You would not need to speak to humans at all. Just BE.
A psychologist once said to me, “You have no sense of entitlement.” I guess that sums it up. Here’s an example: when my husband and I golfed, if there were any people behind us, I would just pick up the ball and keep moving. I couldn’t stand to “hold anyone up” with a bad hit.
That is an interesting statement of his. I would like to discuss that with you. It seems such a subjective announcement. Did he mean you should develop one? Or you should not be allowed to seek what you are entitled to? I think his statement could bear some argument. c
This was sent to you Cecilia by mistake.
It seems we’re all having coffee together this morning in the Lounge 🙂 I’ve been thinking about your words. How about Singular, Composed, Vivid, Aware, Focused, Necessary, Valuable. To me, it seems we need a word about attributes rather than values, since values are so often assigned to us by other people. Perhaps we need to invent our own, since there isn’t one single word that embraces and encompasses all the nuances of the concept you’re expressing.
Though valuable is a good one – but it begs the TO. Valuable to me or to you or to life. Which is kind of BESIDE what I mean. We may need to invent a word. There seems to be a lot of protest at the moment here in America – everyone banging a drum about their rights and what they deserve and SEE ME !SEE ME.! Maybe I am searching for a ‘code ‘ I suppose that supports us enabling our OWN strength instead of asking someone else to grant it to us.. c
Kennedy had it right: ask not what your country can do for you, but what you can do for your country. Perhaps it should be re-named the Bill of Privileges instead of the Bill of Rights. There is too much sense of entitlement everywhere, of demands for respect unearned and freedoms not fought for…
I started reading with the first sip of my first coffee on the verandah in Sunday morning sun. Now there’s a second cup in front of me, which I will sip absorbing the comfort of the good company I find myself in. It matters not that the connection is virtual, what matters is that we of The Fellowship, same but different, get each other, link and support our various Selves.
Thanks Celi, for the gift of these words that make me appreciative ♡
Yes we do – The Fellowship has attracted like minded souls to these pages. The comfort of the Fellowship is a Joy in itself.
Boy was the sentiment in this post aptly timed for this week in my life.
I am glad – sentiment is a good word for it to – I feel that the thought is still unformed.. still swimming.. c
Let’s both just keep swimming and we’ll get to a place that’s either here or there.
Reading this on Sunday morning with the pups at my feet and a strong coffee in my hand. Perfect…am feeling a bit out of kilter right now but hearing your voice like this makes me smile, and focus and know that things will get back to a new normality when the time is right. Take care miss c xx
I love that this recalls my voice – because you have heard it! Love to you darling girl – there will be good days and bad days – I love your own emotional strength in facing them.
I try for a short prayer each morning , along with uplifting reads, but this post and its comment section have filled the coffee cup of spirit to overflowing. Too much to take in at once, so I am sip-sipping again today, and probably for a good while. I am so happy to be in touch with you (all) from my own hideout. What a blessing!
When I was a child prayer and Catholicism were beaten into us kids with a stick. Literally at times. This had the unintended effect of beating prayer out of me. In fact it was a long time before I reallsed (as a young teenager) that Christianity had anything to do with Catholic. Christianity sounded so much gentler to me. Anyway the end result was the loss of prayer. Strangely I was thinking of this as was i was writing – if you replace the word prayer with contemplation then as a society we have lost much. The quiet prayerful moments- even chanting the rosary – is a kind of meditation – a still time in your day. That still time does bring strength with it. So I enjoyed your reference to prayer . That must be wonderful to have that in your llfe.. c
Several poems by Gérard Manley Hopkins led me there a long time ago, but I wasn’t ready to stay. Eventually I realized that words and rules (like those sticks from childhood) can get in the way, even in poems, often in relationships (what else is faith but that). The experience is so much larger than words, though we do depend on them don’t we , and they can be good if treated with care.
And I just found a delightful list of words about a predisposition for using them with care. (http://hyperallergic.com/364431/weekend-words-listen/)