from miss c

I am popping in for a wee hullo. To share a cup of coffee with you.

Just to let you know that while we are warm and still here in California. (No wind – what a joy.) At home on the farm back in Illinois it is freezing – literally.  But all is well – Jake took over for  few days and he says everyone is OK – even the chicks, who I worry about the most. And John is back at the helm today. 

The days will race past here I think.

When I set up this blog I gave myself three challenges. one: Create a page a day and images each day from the farm, only the farm- just my acres.  My idea was to push my mind to find new things to see and comment on from one small space. To extend my photography to see the smallness of life and capture it as an interesting image. And to become a better documentor of images.   two: To be absolutely current, and three: to tell the truth no matter how boring that may be.  Unless I am travelling, then rule number one does not apply but the other rules do. Of course. She smiles.

And the tick tick of life is not full of surprises and dramas; just ordinary work. It is often quite delightfully boring though isolating. But I think I am achieving my objectives. I am well pleased.

I hope that deep down we all feel honest quiet pleasure in a good job done.  It is a balance. We strive to  reach our  emotional balance – an oxymoron maybe.  At the very least emotional balance is hard to achieve let alone maintain.  Maybe recognising it is the most important thing. But when we reach that balanced landing we see ourselves clearly to be individual, exceptional,  special and distinct from others in ways only we can know. In these moments the clarity of our own inner selves pulls into focus. Emotional balance is constantly strived for.  But it is mercurial. Hard to pin down.  But when we sit in it we know we are special.  We must leave our safe landing to strive forward but a little emotional balance tucked into a quiet corner of our pockets on the journey is a good thing.

I am trying to find another word for special that does not mean separate (or cheap) because human nature, in fact nature itself pushes hard at anything that is different or held separate.  We adjust our accents so we can be understood in the shops, the tall guy stoops so he does not stand out too high above others, we wear muted colours so as not to attract predators or bright colours to blend with our flocks.  Our cars are in shades that do not attract attention. We create families and networks.  If a traffic cop pulls into the traffic behind us we go exactly the same speed with exactly the same detached expression as all the other drivers. We spend a lot of time trying to fit in and disappear. Eyes lowered in the lift. Adjusting out stride to match the walking crowds around us. All these are natural things – good things really – natural.

And all this works the best when we have the knowledge of the sure power of our own worth. We are special and unique. We are worthy and deserving of good things.  I don’t mean the good things that other people give to you – many of those things are earned one way or the other. And I don’t mean that we are deserving of self gratifying fleeting treats like wine and ice-cream. I don’t mean that we are special or better so we can lord it over others and tell THEM how to be,  I mean we are deserving of our OWN respect, we are deserving of  our own time and care and encouragement and management. Not to stand out from the crowd, but to stand Up for ourselves.   The knowledge of our own exceptional qualities will be humbling. It is a gentle thing.  A private thing. It is not for Sharing.  It is for knowing. It is honest and still.

Too often souls get lost in the storm of life. And seeing them find their balance again is a wondrous thing.  Then they can take the knowledge of that balance into the next storm.  And that is good.

I hope you have a lovely day.

celi