So, after another stepping on the udder episode, the Vet and I spent some quality time with Lady Astor and I agree with him that her time here needs to come to a noble and dignified end.
Her udder is only going to get worse with time. And the risks of more injuries increase with time.
I know it is sad. But let’s keep this all in perspective. This world we live in has a great many more issues that deserve our attention and our emotion. Kids are starving. Kids are being shot at. Teachers are being shot at and killed right here in this country. Some families – families I know, cannot afford to go to the doctors. I can’t afford to go to the doctors here in the US (but I am older so that is not so bad). But what I mean is we can’t be babies about this – as the Old Codger used to say “No-one gets out of this life alive.”
Dealing with my cow who has worked hard all her life for the people in her life and has come to the end of this time is so simple in comparison to some of the very real tragedies that people have to deal with. It is a natural thing. It is the cycle of life. And she is a cow. Her vet bills have been astronomical this year.
And no, I am not hard hearted. I am a farmer. I know I am a woman so people may expect me to be gentler and sweeter but I am not. I adore this cow. She has been my favourite milk cow for years now but her time has come. I must do what is best for her and not what is easiest for me. I would keep her alive just so I did not have to face this decision. But I must give her the respect she deserves and allow her a dignified exit.
I feel miserable about this. I even hate these cutsie chocolate box cloud photos.
But I will take her to the abbatoir and I will lead her in so she is not afraid and I will stand with her until the end. Because she deserves that. We all deserve that. I will ensure that she is not wasted. Poor old lovely, for all the love in the world, she is a cow. She is not my son or my husband. She is a cow. We need to be real about these things. Our neighbours would be lucky to be loved as much as we loved this curmudgeon bad tempered kick-you-in the-face cow.
I have to add that the decision to let Lady go is just as hard as Telling YOU of my decision to let Lady go. So please do not give me a hard time.
She leaves on Thursday.
I am not having a good day – I hope yours is better.
Celi
The Kitchen's Garden 
72 responses to “OK”
If you’ve taught us anything by sharing your journey on this blog, it’s that farm animals are not pets. I would remind you of the following words of wisdom from a small visitor to the farmy, who understood the lessons on farm roles. Sending you lots of love and light and the knowledge that we already have: that you are an exceptional human and steward. *hugs* https://thekitchensgarden.com/2013/02/21/the-difficult-answer/#jp-carousel-8008
I’m so sad for you. Tough day.
I was once told that sharing sorrow halves it while sharing joy doubles it.
I’m not it’s halving your sorrow, but I hope it help.
All of the above had said it better than I could. ..especially Dona. We owe it to the creatures in our care to treat them as we would want to be treated–assuming we should be so lucky. The future for Lady would be nothing but pain and suffering. You did right by Daisy; and now you will do right by Lady. Very very tough.
Farewell Lady Astor, thank you. Miss C I do hope you are going to have company on that long shitty drive home. Love, love. Laura
My wonderful grandfather, who loved his cows so very much, would nod his head in approval.
Love and hugs to both of you.
No, you are not hard-hearted; and that is very clear from your words. I feel your heart breaking and I admire your attitude, even if it means you are talking yourself into the decision you know to be what is the greatest kindness and demonstrating the greatest respect for your old friend. Sending you hugs and a shoulder to lean on for a bit. Thinking of you today. — Mame 😘
Brave, tough, tender and realistic. You have my respect and my sympathy.
Thinking of you..
I can’t say anything here that has not already been said in some form or fashion. Thank you for your honesty with us always, for doing the right thing for Lady A and all the animals under your care. Sending you hugs – will be thinking of you on Thursday
She has had a very good life. I will be sad with you.
I am late reading this one. I am so sorry that you have to make this difficult decision and I would never give you a hard time about it. You have to do what is right. Her time has come and now you make it as easy as possible for her. You are a good farmer.
I understand. When we had to part with my cow, Abigail, it broke my heart. It was also ONLY due to an udder fault. Farming is hard work and hard decisions. People like to think it is all sunshine and white, vanilla pudding clouds. Your blog helps with the true understanding.
Sometimes the right decision is the most the painful one. I’m sorry. She had a good life and you are the one who made that possible.
Good morning, C. I read this yesterday evening and promptly walked to the old river channel. Your words brought memories rushing back of difficult choices and letting go. There really are no words of comfort sweet friend. There’s just a knowing and understanding, because life is what it is and we do our best. I send you love and warmth on the whispering winds.