Don’t yell at me about being on a Diet & Parmesan Crackers

I know dieting is a bad word. I know that we say to ourselves- I should be able to eat what I like. I am allowed to enjoy myself. Being overweight is not a bad thing. But you have to qualify what is overweight. You see I believe in being my natural weight. And my natural weight does not do well without attention. We need to tend to our bodies. Maintain our health. And this should NOT be a dirty word. We look after our dogs and make sure they have plenty of exercise and do not get too fat!

I know this is a taboo subject. I have an inner battle over this page and it sounds a bit like this. (Hey did you check out my breakfast.. sshh)

-She said the fat word she said the fat word!

-I am your conscience I can say whatever i like.

-Really? Is that in the rules I can’t remember reading that.

-And you are always going on about living a sustainable lifestyle. And just going out and buying another pair of cheap jeans that are made offshore just because you are  too fat to fit your good ones is not responsible living!  A responsible sustainable lifestyle means wearing your clothes until they wear out then repurposing them.  Turn them into rags or ties for  apple trees. Instead of leaving them to clutter up the trouser shelves and  running out to buy another pair, not to mention supporting the off shore sweat shops.  You have to wear that pair of jeans until it is ready for the rag bag. No throwing them away because you are too fat to wear them.

-I know but…

-No buts

-Well, what if..

-No ifs and buts (i don’ t believe you made me say that!)

-I just want to be able to fit my favourite clothes.

-Well you need to get back to your natural weight.

-What if this is my natural weight.

-You have been having too many cold beers after work on the verandah and eating crostini or toast at practically every meal and what about those fried breakfasts.  And your portions are bigger than ever.  No more seconds. And I shudder to think of it –  The fried chicken from the little place down the road. What about some fruit for goodness sake. Your jeans are so tight you have to lie on the floor to zip them up!

-I like fruit

-But you don’t eat it unless it is in pastry!

-Don’t tell people that. They think I am a healthy eater. I eat organic stuff, I grow my own veges. I grow my own grass fed meat. Anyway there is fruit in my wine.

-And then you fry them

-You can fry wine?

-No, the vegetables, you fry them.

-Well technically potatoes are not a vegetable.

-I rest my case. So are you going to that wedding or not?

-What wedding?

-You know perfectly well what wedding, your brother in laws wedding. Do you want to be the fattie at their wedding?

-Well  there might be other fatties at the wedding, we could start a club.

-Are you paying attention? You are going on the Celi Diet.

-Can I whine?

-No you can’t.

-Oh, well OK then.

– And no more just sauntering around the fences with the dogs and calling it a walk !  From now On walk a MILES, twice a day, fast. 

-But what about my writing? I am writing a book. I don’t have time.

-Get up earlier.

-But it might be cold.

-And get those weights out from under the desk. 

-There are weights under my desk?

-While you are waiting for the computer to load, instead of staring dumbly at a blank screen you can do some weight work. Make your muscles work with low impact reps. 

-What do you know about reps?

-Do I have to repeat myself?

-I thought you were leaving.


SO apparently I need to have a wee tone up of the body. SO go back on the Celi Diet for a little while. But you know there is NO POINT in dieting. For your body to reach its natural weight and stay there we must tweak my eating and  my exercise, and then  create a life style that works for me and stick with it. (sigh) If I cannot control my own body what can I control? (such a bore)

I will  tell you about the Celi Diet.

No processed food ever.  If I cannot recognise it, I should not eat it. And reduce my portions to the size my fist. Eat little bits often. Drink PILES of water. Brush teeth three times a day. (No-one likes to eat with clean toothpasty teeth)

For the first 14 days I will do the Celi Diet.   It is hard but after the first 14 days we go onto the Celi Body Maintenance  Program (CBMP). But first The Celi Diet:

  • No flour
  • No sugar
  • No roots
  • No rice

See, I told you that you would hate it but it does work. I have helped many people do it and it does work. So in preparation gather  all the Dirty Temptation Food, like crisps, nachos, and crackers, cheetos, store bought cookies, frozen pizzas –  throw them out! Get them out of your kitchen. Purge the Pantry. Only Clean Food may remain. This is only for 14 days, the body maintenance program  is much more fun but I need to get a head start using the Celi Diet.  And if the bad stuff is in there I will smell it out! So hide it from me.

Temptation is a terrible thing and I am addicted to bacon butties. The only way to overcome the addiction is to remove the bread from the house. Feed it all to the chickens.  And the toaster. Out with the toaster! Flour is glue. It must be used sparingly. Given half a chance I will eat bread for every snack and at mealtimes. Fine if it is only a slice but not me. I eat until I  cannot eat anymore.

-I am afraid potatoes are the same. They aren’t even a vegetable. Off with their heads!


-I heard that!

So I will eat little bits, often. This works for me. I remind myself that hunger is sometimes plain old greed and lack of discipline.  Off with its head.

Snacks: seeds, nuts, cheeses, fresh fruit, dried fruit, cold meats, parmesan crackers.

Drinks: water, tea, coffee, dry champagne, or wine (well it is the Celi Diet!) but only 2 glasses! No diet drinks I am afraid that fake sugar is worse than real sugar.  No diet products at all, they are all processed. No processed food!

Parmesan crackers:

  • heat oven to 300F .
  • Place spoonfuls of grated parmesan cheese on greased baking sheet. Cook 5 or 6 minutes, and carefully transfer to rack with a sharp spatula to cool.

All Celi Diet Food is very simple. So for the next fourteen days all the food you will see on my pages will be Celi Diet food. And plenty of what you all cook fits so nicely into my Diet that I will be trolling your pages for ideas too.

If you want to join me, do the doc check, and jump in.  Don’t say I am watching my weight say I’m watching my Body! Remember it is OK to be responsible about our bodies.  Don’t let people get you down.

OK I am off  to stock the cupboard with Celi Diet food.  Actually it is quite a tasty diet. Tomorrow we will make the muesli.

No weighing. It is all about wearing the favourite jeans remember. Once my clothes fit comfortably and I have the body size that i am happy with, then onto maintenance. But in the meantime!

  •  No Flour
  •  No Sugar
  •  No Rice
  •  No Roots

Look I am getting smaller already


72 Comments on “Don’t yell at me about being on a Diet & Parmesan Crackers

  1. Bacon is good! Love bacon! Will be interested to see your “diet” foods. I need to work on things myself especially since I just got back from a weekend getaway which included eating and drinking all sorts of good stuff. Gotta try the Parmesan crackers! You just grate from the big hard chunk, right?

    • Yup. Then spoonfuls of grated cheese onto the tray, flatten slightly and slow cook, watch them, they cook fast! c

  2. Just popping in to say hello, I am an occasional commenter rather than an every post one. I enjoyed catching up. Congrats on Daisy’s pregnancy and loads of luck with the diet.

  3. I know what you mean! I have nixed all garden potatoes this fall, as that was my downfall last year. I don’t care what anyone says, I am uncomfortable when I gain weight, and my energy lessens. And then I am crabby. So I started walking at least three times a week for an hour and that had helped tremendously. I use weights, too 🙂 Hope your new plan goes well! I bet it will.

    • That is great. I think the important thing is to design your own program, work on it and adjust it and live it.. it is so true about the energy drop! c

  4. I have been the same weight since 2002 – but this winter I noticed a bit more cuddly bits on the side – I think the Celi diet is a good plan!

    • Well done Tandy, you have a good Body Plan then, I bet those cuddly bits just drop back into place with all the summer activities! c

  5. Conversation from my own head this weekend:
    It’s cold. You have to put on jeans.
    But, what if they don’t fit?
    What else are you going to do?
    Um…sweat pants?
    In PUBLIC?
    Oh. I see what you mean…
    (Tries on bluejeans for the first time in months)
    Hey! They FIT!
    (Looks at size)
    Darn. They still fit….
    Love the parm crackers!

    • Exactly, we are looking for the comfort of jeans that fit, maybe that size is your natural size! Must have been all that gardening! (and I know what you mean about sweats in public.. not gonna happen! c

  6. Great plan for fall… I always feel like the summer of fun is just putting on a little extra padding so that we can hibernate this winter. I must give up sugar… this is a real problem for me. Every day I begin and then my resolve weakens. Perhaps if you are going to do this I should try again:) But first I have to make cookies for my son to bring home with him… See!! What’s a girl to do!!

    • Step AWAY from the cookies! I am making muesli tomorrow it is made with honey, and when i am desperate for something sweet, i have a wee nibble with greek yoghurt. And you know what, Smidge, Just giving up the sugar for two weeks will make an enormous difference anyway!.. c

  7. I saw a tv cook do her Parmesan biscuits on lollipop sticks, they looked very sweet. Activity food is great, artichokes are very energetic for example, and pumpkin seeds in shells. have fun with the food thing, see you, better not visit me for a while, carbs everywhere xxx

    • I know about your kitchen!! Heaven! By activity food do you mean food you have to fight to get into? That is a great idea, Joanna! c

  8. Go, Cecilia! We don’t eat a lot of processed food at my house. Though, to be honest, if my kids weren’t allergic to bloody everything and sensitive to bloody everything else, I would probably still be subsisting on instant ramen noodles and Doritos. And as for dieting? I call it maintenance, too. One injured knee + being far too sedentary for a couple of weeks = jeans that are far too snug in the bum and thigh. (Why does it happen so quickly!?!?)
    Anyway, your food looks divine. I’m excited to see more of it!

    • If you are able to stick to the four rules you can eat tons ofgreat stuff. It is the mixing that gets me eg, bacon between two big slices of toast! Bad toast dripping with butter! c

  9. Yes, your food recipes seems delicious… I am on diet for about more than one year… But I enjoy with my diet… It is so nice always to learn new recipes, Thank you dear Cecilia, with my love, nia

    • You have devised a maintenance diet for yourself and you love it that is brilliant Nia. It is the thinking about what we are consuming that makes the difference!

  10. You are so right! Diets don’t work, but lifestyle changes do. After some serious health issues, my wife and I got serious about our eating habits. Found out that when you overcome the mental issues, the eating wasn’t so difficult. (I lost 35 pounds in 4 months and then stabilized….my natural weight!!)

    • Ted you are a star. It is ALL ABOUT saying I can do it. So much is. And that is an awesome amount of weight to loose and then adjust your lifestyle so that you stay around your natural weight.. Actually anyone can lose weight it is the keeping the weight off that is the key. looks like you found it!! c

    • You can do anything Yummy. But maybe you don’t need to!! The hard part is only for 14 days though. Then you are over the worst of it! . c

  11. I’m all about this Celi diet…good for you! I think it’s a great plan. I really need to do the same, but hate the word dieting as well. My first step is cutting out a Starbucks every morning because that’s obviously not good for me. I’m going to try going to the gym more than 2 times per week and am going to cut down portion sizes as well. We’ll see how this goes!

  12. Thanks Caroline. Portion sizes and healthy snacks are a big part of it for sure. And exercise! Don’t forget to make your lunch and your snacks to take to work with you. Some of those Starbucks drinks are BAD! Remember you are not watching your weight you are watching your body!! c

  13. That sounds like most of us I am sure. We are all battling with the desire for some unhealthy foods but do want to have healthy bodies. I like your approach. It sounds reasonable and good for you. Take care and good luck. Maybe if I get enough gumption, I’ll try the Celi diet soon. I really should.

  14. No roots! No rice! (I was trying to think what roots I actually ate and then it came to me: potatoes!) I do the no flour, no sugar diet whenever my jeans get too tight, but I don’t think I can give up rice and potatoes. You’re strong.


    • I let them back in in small quantities after the first 14 days. But often no flour, no sugar, no processed foods does the trick. Sometimes I am strong but sometimes I am not! c

  15. I was on a diet for two weeks and lost fourteen days of enjoying my life 🙂
    Seriously though,I adore fat – bacon, lard, butter plus vegetables. Never margarine or reduced fat butter (what is the point?). I strongly believe that moderation is the key. Excepting real medical conditions (REAL!), exercise more, eat less should be sufficient without dieting and worrying about weight.
    You probably would like the author’s view on weight in Scheherazade Goes West by Fatima Mernissi.
    Love your blog!

    • Well that is the really great thing about the Celi Diet that is not really a Diet, I eat all the Fatty stuff! I am a butter freak i would die before i designed a diet that left butter out of my life!! I hate margarine. But you are completely right. Moderation is the key to many many things.. Portion sizes and exercise! Exactly.. I have made a note of the book.. thank you for that.. c

  16. I can give up anything — but FLOUR!!!! Oh, Celi, not flour, too! That would mean no pasta and that just will not fly around here. It reminds me of the “No Carb Italian Diet.” Have you heard of it? No? That’s because there ain’t one!
    On the other hand, any regimen that allows parmesan crackers (which I love) and champagne can’t be all bad!

    • No sweetie we only cut the flour out for two weeks! Then WE SEE! and you may double your cheese and nuts and champagne in the meantime! It is possible that you do not need a Celi Diet at all though. I bet you are slap bang in the middle of your natural weight.. Healthy eating does that! and anyway yours is homemade unprocessed pasta, surely we can find a diet niche for that.. c

  17. I really loved this story, but it was hard to concentrate when I saw that wonderful bacon sitting on the plate. And then those Parmesan crackers. Very hard to concentrate over here lol

    • I LOVE Bacon! In fact i love bacon so much i am going to grow a couple of pigs next year and then we will have really tasty bacon.. c

  18. Hehe, I had a giggle while reading your post. Just the way you wrote it – it was impossible not to. 🙂

    On a more serious note though, thank you for writing this – I totally hear where you are coming from, and I agree! We need to look after our bodies, and that’s not so much about avoiding cake/pastry like the plague but about not overindulging either just ‘cos we can.

    And I think the 14 day diet and the maintenance after sounds like a very sensible plan. I am not good at disciplining myself – but I have been thinking that I need to think more about what I put into my body… and now your post has kicked those thoughts back to the front of my brain!

    Best of luck and look forward to your next post. x

  19. Good on you! I’m needing to do a bit of tune-up myself and will head in a similar direction. Happy to start with some tasty parmesan crisps too!

    Celi, I’ll be (no pun intended) rooting for you!!

  20. “You can fry wine?” oh that made me laugh!! Having just come home from a long trip and been catching up with a lot of people (read: LOTSA food and wine) and not joining a new gym yet your internal conversation sounds a lot like mine. But I’m not disciplined enough for the Celi Diet, I’m just going to walk to work all week instead. It’s my way. But I’m encouraging you from here, especially as you’re not weighing in, I like that. And look forward to seeing the food!

    • Walking to work is great Aimee. Everyone should do that if they can, Even parking a block away, or getting off the bus a few stops from work. In fact you work better when you walk to work or school. Good for the brain as you know.. c

  21. Those rashers of Bacon looks absolutely lovely, I have some unsmoked one’s sitting in my fridge right now, waiting to be part of a chicken BLT sandwich, I know, it’s full of bad.
    I don’t do diets and firmly believe in “natural weight”. Some people can loose weight and start looking older and as if they are “ill”.
    I’ll add those crackers to my “give it a try” list.
    Have a nice day.

    • There is nothing bad about a BLT sandwich! I have them every friday all through the summer. Even better for you though if you have thin slices of your own home made bread.. Just don’t 4 in a sitting which I am likely to do!!! c

  22. For me I dont care if its diet food or not as long as it is good. Anyways you might be able to enjoy some of my recipes that contain no rice, no flour, no roots and no sugar.

  23. All I got to say is if you all aren’t gonna eat it, send it to me, I will eat it for you!! 🙂 I know I’m BAD! But somebody’s gotta do it! 😉

  24. I’m so behind on my reading and missed this one! This was so funny hearing your inner chatter!!! I completely agree with your 14 day plan. I don’t “diet” but in reality the way we eat is our “diet” if you look at it in that way. I eat mostly like your 14 day plan, basically eliminating “white” tho I’ve had friends say cauliflower is white! And never do I eat anything processed, I guess that’s called Clean Eating. It’s all in moderation and I’m excited to follow along with your journey. First I need to subscribe so I don’t miss anything!!! Good luck!!

    • you have got it for sure. the food that we eat should be a diet that we have designed ourselves. And it looks to me like you have put some thought already into what is good for you! c

  25. I´ve had that same conversation too! All the best to you – it sounds liek a sensbile approach, and one that I need to take up too 🙂

  26. Sounds a lot like my ‘diet’ / new lifestyle…I cut out all flour, sugar, rice, potatoes, junk, (but not the wine 🙂 ) starting last Feb – have lost 8 kgs, and am wearing stuff I thought I should throw out! YAY. Yes, we need to maintain our bodies too – I agree! Looking forward to some new ideas for meals….

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