Kupa the Peacock finds an unlikely friend

Kupa: So who are you then? Are you a minion? I was promised minions. Oh, maybe you are the butler then. Get me another drink.  My champagne has gone flat.

Peghorn:  Uh no. I am not sure what a minion is but I am pretty sure I am not a butler,  I am Peghorn your Royal Richness on account of I keep standing on one foot all the time. 

Kupa:  Oh dreadfully sorry, awfully decent of you then old chap.  So you know where they keep the champers is then?(looking down)  Horrors. Who are they? Who let them in? What do they want? Are they minions, they look like minions.

Peghorn:  Um no, they would not be good minions. They are hens.  In fact they are the hens of Son of Neanderthol Man. They are visiting.  Actually they want to meet you your Royal Aloofness.

Kupa: I am not aloof I am shy. Peacocks are shy. And I am certainly not in the mood for a .. a plague of peasantry.  All this newness is wearing me out. Send them off Peabody.

Peghorn: Horn. Peahorn.  I mean PegHorn. As in Longhorn. Your Royal Shyness.   (pause) I hope you don’t mind me asking though, your Royal Cockness, but are  you really  a peacock?

Kupa:  Of course I am a peacock. What do you think I am…. an elephants foot?  Don’t you know what a peacock looks like. ?

Peghorn: Well, we have never had one before on the farmy. There are legends of them living in this barn almost a hundred years ago though.  It’s just that I thought you would be  bigger. I mean I thought peacocks were bigger and you are like .. small.

Kupa: Small? Small ! I am not small! I am still growing. I am still young, I will have you know.  I am only almost two.

Peghorn: Oops I am sorry. I did not mean you to take a fence or a gate or nothing.

Kupa: I am a peacock.. the decorative feature of the most beautiful  gardens in the world! I am not by any stretch of the imagination  – Small! My tail is starting to  grow.. look!

Peghorn: Good, good. Yeah, I am with you buddy. Sorry. Don’t get your feathers in a flight.

Peghorn: So we have found a hole in the gate. Do you want to  come for a walk.

Red Hen: Have you got any toast?

Kupa: Who is that? Is that one of the minions? What is she saying, she is mumbling. Speak up!

Red Hen: Have you got any Toast? I was just wondering you see I am awful partial to a piece of toast.

Kupa: Peglee.

Peghorn: Horn.

Kupa: I beg your pardon?

Kupa: Peghorn your Royal Blueness.

Kupa: Highness, Clothespeg. Your Royal Highness will do just fine.

Peghorn: Royal Highness.  Peghorn.

Kupa: Oh Peghorn, Sorry old chap I am such a birdbrain at times. But I think that this minion is a few sandwiches short of a picnic. Do I look like a toaster?

Peghorn: No. Not really. You are shiny though.

Kupa: Peghorn?

Peghorn: Yes Your Royal Highness.

Kupa: Take that little brown hen away.

Peghorn: You just got to  relax a bit your Royal Highness.  I mean you got chicken feet just like the rest of us.  You know what I mean. Why don’t you come down from there. There is a hole in the gate,we thought we would spring ya like! Little Brown Hen is  a good sort. You’ll be Ok.  So do you want to come for a walk? Do you eat grass we have some good grass.

Kupa: Well awfully kind and all that. There’s a good chap. Maybe tomorrow.  I am simply Hanging in rags! Shattered my good man. Going to sleep now. 

Kupa: Maybe in the morning. And we really must discuss the state of the champagne, I cannot bear flat champagne.

Peghorn: OK. We will come back then,  make sure you eat all that feed on your ledge so Miss C gives you more, she never feeds us enough and we like to share.  We are supposed to be keeping the barn clean.

Kupa:  Oh right, Top Show then, Jolly Good. See you in the morning then Peghorn, my good man. Oh Peghorn,  as we are discussing names.  I was thinking,  Miss C has been calling me Kupa. Maybe you can call me The Duke of Kupa, I am only related to Royalty after all.  Just to be clear. But I am a Duke and Kupa seems to fit.

Peghorn: Righto – Duke of Kupa. See you in the morning then Kupe the Duke! Ni Nigh!

Kupa: Duke of Kupa, Peghorn (sigh) It is so nice to have a name at last.

…

Good morning. Today is Old Codger Day.  So TonTon and I will be off to the retirement home.  The Sheep’s Midwife will be checking in on  Mama.  We had a frost last night so all the tomatoes have been covered in buckets or blankets. I will check the asparagus when I come back and let you know how it fared.

Have a great day. The day has dawned bright and sunny! Time to get to work.

celi