Tane the Terrible

I got distracted. That’s all I can say in my defense.  I came out of the field and put the bucket down, why I do not know. I always take the eggs straight to the kitchen.  But yesterday the eggs were left in a bucket at the gate.  Fifteen eggs, the afternoons haul. I set them down and was going to pick them back up but there you are. Some people have called me Organic. Some Whimsical. Me: I am moving towards Airhead – though I prefer whimsical.

So I left the eggs in the bucket by the gate and soon after I let Tane out.

Much later I came out of the barn and this is what I saw. For the record Tane is pronounced Tahnay.

Miss C: No Tane.  Tane!  Get your head out of that bucket. tane

Tane:  No.  (muffled due to head being IN said bucket).

Miss C:  Tane, get your head OUT of that bucket.

Tane: NO!tane1

Tane. Get your head out of  the bucket right this minute. Or no carrots for supper.


Tane: What are you blabbering  on about woman?! I can’t hear a word you are saying. My head was in a bucket!

Miss C: Oh No,  Tane. Don’t eat all my eggs.


Tane: Can’t hear you again.

Miss C.  No. Tane, get our head out of my bucket.  Right this minute.

Tane: What?! Miss C I have tooth ache. My tusks are growing. Leave me alone with my eggs for just a minute. DSC_0576

Miss C: Don’t make me come over there.

Tane: Still can’t hear you.

Miss C: TANE!


Tane: What? If I take my head out of this bucket some other bastard will put his head in.

Miss c – Language Tane. There are children reading.  tane and dog and bucket

Tane. Oh, I feel a bit sick.

Tane: Hey, BumBum no looking at my eggs.  DSC_0580

Tane: The dog is staring. Miss C tell BooBoo, the dog of undetermined parentage, to stop staring at my bucket!


Tane:  Bloody dog.
bucket and pig

Tane: See? SEE.  I turn my back for a second!!


Tane: What did I tell you. Now BooBoo the BumBum is eating my dinner. That’s what I get! First you hide my woman now you give my dinner to the dogs! What is a boar to do!

Miss C:  You call him BooBoo the BumBum? Really?

Tane: Yes. Have you seen the size of his arse?  Fine,  let him lick the bowl. I only left him a few shells anyway. Ugly, smelly-bottom dog.

Tane: (to screen in a suddenly sweet voice)  Good morning Fellows and Fellasses. I hope you all have a lovely day.

Love Tane

PS. This afternoon I am driving up to the airport to collect a young man who is flying all the way from Basque, Spain to work here on the farm for a month. More on that tomorrow. love, love, c

Miss C: Tane, you have egg on your face.

Tane  (over his shoulder as he saunters out to the field): Details.



50 Comments on “Tane the Terrible

  1. Don’t worry Miss C, I am whimsical too! Still laughing over this conversation. Good Morning Tane. Hope the eggs helped your toothache!

  2. That Tane is just like my father: selective deafness. I do adore his eggy yellow beard – I bet he had hours of fun licking all the bits out of it. But 15 eggs is a loss, I do hope you didn’t have an eggy feast planned for yourself. Let’s hope all that extra protein will bring him to the peak of performance when the time comes that he’s reunited with his lovely wife.

  3. I tried to think of something profound to say, but it’s hard when you’re laughing. At least the eggs weren’t wasted – you fed a pig and wrote a blog about it! 😉

  4. Hilarious! I read it to Evie as she was having breakfast and she was giggling her head off…. 7 year old and the word bum-bum is a lethal combination. Great post to start the day-thanks 😃🐷

  5. What a whimsical moment creates!! A hilarious picture for the calendar!!! Oh Tane – you’re quite the character!!! What an “eggly” messy snout!!! Have a better day Miss Celi!!!

  6. Loved this post. As someone who has had Labradors for many years, I can tell you tales of barely believable naughtiness ..brandy tart, chocolate cake, 71 marshmallow Easter eggs bought for my students, a bottle of 10 year old tawny port (I’m not making this up), the entire contents of the fridge (many times).. the list goes on! Tane looks a very happy young man.

  7. I’ve never had a pig, but piggy dogs & goats (I commented about my Toggenburgs back during your goat experiment), who have devoured wedding cake, gift wrapped home made Christmas fudge, a whole bag of oranges, a whole Christmas roast, 2 whole azalea bushes, tulips, iris, 2 whole sofas, shouts & tears at the time, many chuckles much, much later on. And all because I turned my airhead away with never a thought to things left in harm’s way. At least you caught it all on camera to share with your eager readers. Thanks for the laughter, Celi.

  8. Buenos dias, to your new visitor from Spain!!! Bienvenido a América!!! My husband’s family are from the Basque country….mostly on the French side, as well as, Spaniards (not Basque) from Spain. I hope he has a lovely time, and you get much help. Tane’s egg-washed face is enough to make me want to scramble my eggs for awhile!! HAHAHA

  9. Ha ha – I suppose that made Tane feel briefly happier while his wife is in quarantine.
    If you have a man coming from Pais Vasco there will be some good cooking going on. Most Basque men are members of cooking clubs and their cuisine is extraordinary. If you can get hold of some salt cod, ask him to make Bacalao Pil Pil 😉

  10. Yes, this puts a whole new meaning to egg on your face! This was just hilarious! C. When are you ever going to write that children’s book? For all to enjoy! 🙂

  11. Guess you had to be whimsical for one day to give us all a giggle at your expense. 😉 I could plainly see Boo’s distress at not getting a crack at those eggs that were being Hogged by Tane. Those pictures spoke volumes. Thanks for the great start to the day. :))) I’m sorry you lost all your eggs though. Maybe having help will bring you back to earth. 🙂 I’m surprised with all you have to do that it was just eggs you forgot. Have a wonderfilled eggless day. 🙂

  12. Tane: Grunt, grunt…..wipers!!!!
    Geraldine the Peacock Princess flies in from farm left: A damp towel for you sir?

    Gonna need some good roughage to get all those eggs through, me thinks. haha

  13. Snorts with piggy laughter. I can’t say that I would not have done the same. I know tsk tsk tsk but hey we are cute little piggies right? XOXO – Bacon

  14. I will be chuckling about this one for quite a while. Life with animals and birds: so much materal. Theater of the absorbed. A pig with his head stuck in a bucket of eggs. And Tah-nay with his eggy beard micro-aggressing about BooBoo’s bum-bum. Really! Everyday a divine comedy!

  15. Um maybe the soufflé omelette for tonights’ supper is now off the menu 🙂 Tane, yellow is definitely your colour and egg yolk is an excellent hair/beard conditioning mask. Still laughing. Laura

  16. hee hee – so no one warned you that, with pigs, eggs come second only to CAKE (yes you must say it loudly – lol)!! Our Sweet Monster was the exact same way – loved her fresh eggs and left-over pastry! hahahaha

  17. ok- this is one of the funniest posts ever ever! and the yo9lk covered pig face? Hilarious- have to share this! bwa hahahah

  18. Ha ha ha. Life! I prefer butterfly brain! That’s me too. ❤

  19. How do I love this post?! Let me count the ways!!
    You’re verbal banter is a total riot – and I laughed my ass off when I saw Tane with all that egg on his face!! Too funny!!
    I remember once finding one of my goats almost all the way into the chicken coop – her ass sticking out of the tiny chicken coop door. It was just too funny & I have photos to prove it… but this is waaaay more funny by a long shot!! ; o )

  20. Forgot to say – I’m a total flakeball but both you and I … and all other flakeballs… are fabulous!! ; o )

  21. Oh, that was funny – and oh, that yellow snout of Tane and the staring of BooBoo. Thank you for making me laugh!

  22. This reminds me of trying to get a bucket away from calves after they finished their milk. They fought and bucked. You bring back those farm memories today with this post.

  23. Good yellow oaks! Eggs and facial fur… not a picturesque combo but often funny. We were just discussing sourcing of supply of homegrown eggs… at least you’ll have more tomorrow.

  24. Well, that puts a new slant on the traditional Easter Egg Hunt! I had a good laugh, just what I needed today. Thank you.

  25. Never a dull moment. I don’t know where this expression came from, but clearly had The Kitchen’s Garden totally in mind.

  26. Don’t show Tane the photos: let’s face it – nought added to his looks 🙂 ! And you DID take ‘his woman’, so he has somewhat of a right to be cranky!! And you did not colour any Easter eggs for him either so he had to get the yellow from somewhere!! [Tane: I tried!!!!]. But Miss C . . . what compensations: first a wwofer from Argentina, then Avignon and now the Basque country . . . .fabulous, and I wish all of you well!!!!

  27. Your pigs must be trying to one up each other lately. Can’t even imagine what the next post will include. I literally laughed out loud at this one!

  28. One of your very bestests. Great laughs here. Now for Tima, does she have any special way to say her name? I have a friend named Tima. Much love and a liberal sprinkling of smoochies, Gayle

  29. I needed a good laugh today (I’m reading this days after you wrote it – sorry… just so busy these days!). Thanks for cheering me up with Tane and the eggs!! Ha ha

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