I got distracted. That’s all I can say in my defense. I came out of the field and put the bucket down, why I do not know. I always take the eggs straight to the kitchen. But yesterday the eggs were left in a bucket at the gate. Fifteen eggs, the afternoons haul. I set them down and was going to pick them back up but there you are. Some people have called me Organic. Some Whimsical. Me: I am moving towards Airhead – though I prefer whimsical.
So I left the eggs in the bucket by the gate and soon after I let Tane out.
Much later I came out of the barn and this is what I saw. For the record Tane is pronounced Tahnay.
Miss C: No Tane. Tane! Get your head out of that bucket. 
Tane: No. (muffled due to head being IN said bucket).
Miss C: Tane, get your head OUT of that bucket.
Tane: NO!
Tane. Get your head out of the bucket right this minute. Or no carrots for supper.
Tane: What are you blabbering on about woman?! I can’t hear a word you are saying. My head was in a bucket!
Miss C: Oh No, Tane. Don’t eat all my eggs.
Tane: Can’t hear you again.
Miss C. No. Tane, get our head out of my bucket. Right this minute.
Tane: What?! Miss C I have tooth ache. My tusks are growing. Leave me alone with my eggs for just a minute. 
Miss C: Don’t make me come over there.
Tane: Still can’t hear you.
Miss C: TANE!
Tane: What? If I take my head out of this bucket some other bastard will put his head in.
Miss c – Language Tane. There are children reading. 
Tane. Oh, I feel a bit sick.
Tane: Hey, BumBum no looking at my eggs. 
Tane: The dog is staring. Miss C tell BooBoo, the dog of undetermined parentage, to stop staring at my bucket!
Tane: Bloody dog.
Tane: See? SEE. I turn my back for a second!!
Tane: What did I tell you. Now BooBoo the BumBum is eating my dinner. That’s what I get! First you hide my woman now you give my dinner to the dogs! What is a boar to do!
Miss C: You call him BooBoo the BumBum? Really?
Tane: Yes. Have you seen the size of his arse? Fine, let him lick the bowl. I only left him a few shells anyway. Ugly, smelly-bottom dog.
Tane: (to screen in a suddenly sweet voice) Good morning Fellows and Fellasses. I hope you all have a lovely day.
Love Tane
PS. This afternoon I am driving up to the airport to collect a young man who is flying all the way from Basque, Spain to work here on the farm for a month. More on that tomorrow. love, love, c
Miss C: Tane, you have egg on your face.
Tane (over his shoulder as he saunters out to the field): Details.
The Kitchen's Garden 
50 responses to “Tane the Terrible”
Don’t worry Miss C, I am whimsical too! Still laughing over this conversation. Good Morning Tane. Hope the eggs helped your toothache!
That Tane is just like my father: selective deafness. I do adore his eggy yellow beard – I bet he had hours of fun licking all the bits out of it. But 15 eggs is a loss, I do hope you didn’t have an eggy feast planned for yourself. Let’s hope all that extra protein will bring him to the peak of performance when the time comes that he’s reunited with his lovely wife.
I tried to think of something profound to say, but it’s hard when you’re laughing. At least the eggs weren’t wasted – you fed a pig and wrote a blog about it! 😉
So funny! Laughing! We have an egg surplus right now. Wish I could send you some!
What a naughty pig! I never knew he had it in him!
Hi-la-ri-ous. I now have idigestion from laughing so much while eating my lunch (not eggs!).
I hope the chooks soon replace the eggs eaten by naugty Tane.
love,
ViV
Hilarious! I read it to Evie as she was having breakfast and she was giggling her head off…. 7 year old and the word bum-bum is a lethal combination. Great post to start the day-thanks 😃🐷
No, Miss C. YOU have egg on your face (metaphorically speaking!!)
What a whimsical moment creates!! A hilarious picture for the calendar!!! Oh Tane – you’re quite the character!!! What an “eggly” messy snout!!! Have a better day Miss Celi!!!
Loved this post. As someone who has had Labradors for many years, I can tell you tales of barely believable naughtiness ..brandy tart, chocolate cake, 71 marshmallow Easter eggs bought for my students, a bottle of 10 year old tawny port (I’m not making this up), the entire contents of the fridge (many times).. the list goes on! Tane looks a very happy young man.
😂😂😂❤️
Tane. You look so foolish with that yellow beard.
I am so pleased you captured it all on your camera.
I’ve never had a pig, but piggy dogs & goats (I commented about my Toggenburgs back during your goat experiment), who have devoured wedding cake, gift wrapped home made Christmas fudge, a whole bag of oranges, a whole Christmas roast, 2 whole azalea bushes, tulips, iris, 2 whole sofas, shouts & tears at the time, many chuckles much, much later on. And all because I turned my airhead away with never a thought to things left in harm’s way. At least you caught it all on camera to share with your eager readers. Thanks for the laughter, Celi.
Buenos dias, to your new visitor from Spain!!! Bienvenido a América!!! My husband’s family are from the Basque country….mostly on the French side, as well as, Spaniards (not Basque) from Spain. I hope he has a lovely time, and you get much help. Tane’s egg-washed face is enough to make me want to scramble my eggs for awhile!! HAHAHA
Best post ever at 530 AM!!!!!