I got distracted. That’s all I can say in my defense. I came out of the field and put the bucket down, why I do not know. I always take the eggs straight to the kitchen. But yesterday the eggs were left in a bucket at the gate. Fifteen eggs, the afternoons haul. I set them down and was going to pick them back up but there you are. Some people have called me Organic. Some Whimsical. Me: I am moving towards Airhead – though I prefer whimsical.
So I left the eggs in the bucket by the gate and soon after I let Tane out.
Much later I came out of the barn and this is what I saw. For the record Tane is pronounced Tahnay.
Miss C: No Tane. Tane! Get your head out of that bucket. 
Tane: No. (muffled due to head being IN said bucket).
Miss C: Tane, get your head OUT of that bucket.
Tane: NO!
Tane. Get your head out of the bucket right this minute. Or no carrots for supper.
Tane: What are you blabbering on about woman?! I can’t hear a word you are saying. My head was in a bucket!
Miss C: Oh No, Tane. Don’t eat all my eggs.
Tane: Can’t hear you again.
Miss C. No. Tane, get our head out of my bucket. Right this minute.
Tane: What?! Miss C I have tooth ache. My tusks are growing. Leave me alone with my eggs for just a minute. 
Miss C: Don’t make me come over there.
Tane: Still can’t hear you.
Miss C: TANE!
Tane: What? If I take my head out of this bucket some other bastard will put his head in.
Miss c – Language Tane. There are children reading. 
Tane. Oh, I feel a bit sick.
Tane: Hey, BumBum no looking at my eggs. 
Tane: The dog is staring. Miss C tell BooBoo, the dog of undetermined parentage, to stop staring at my bucket!
Tane: Bloody dog.
Tane: See? SEE. I turn my back for a second!!
Tane: What did I tell you. Now BooBoo the BumBum is eating my dinner. That’s what I get! First you hide my woman now you give my dinner to the dogs! What is a boar to do!
Miss C: You call him BooBoo the BumBum? Really?
Tane: Yes. Have you seen the size of his arse? Fine, let him lick the bowl. I only left him a few shells anyway. Ugly, smelly-bottom dog.
Tane: (to screen in a suddenly sweet voice) Good morning Fellows and Fellasses. I hope you all have a lovely day.
Love Tane
PS. This afternoon I am driving up to the airport to collect a young man who is flying all the way from Basque, Spain to work here on the farm for a month. More on that tomorrow. love, love, c
Miss C: Tane, you have egg on your face.
Tane (over his shoulder as he saunters out to the field): Details.
The Kitchen's Garden 
50 responses to “Tane the Terrible”
Ha ha – I suppose that made Tane feel briefly happier while his wife is in quarantine.
If you have a man coming from Pais Vasco there will be some good cooking going on. Most Basque men are members of cooking clubs and their cuisine is extraordinary. If you can get hold of some salt cod, ask him to make Bacalao Pil Pil 😉
He tells me he cannot cook – I am hoping he can get himsMother (or father) on the phone and she can talk him through it! We should ask John in Chicago about the salted cod! He might be able to get us some.. c
That’s very unusual – most Basques cook, particularly the men! Here’s a recipe:
http://www.plateruena.com/
Yes, this puts a whole new meaning to egg on your face! This was just hilarious! C. When are you ever going to write that children’s book? For all to enjoy! 🙂
Guess you had to be whimsical for one day to give us all a giggle at your expense. 😉 I could plainly see Boo’s distress at not getting a crack at those eggs that were being Hogged by Tane. Those pictures spoke volumes. Thanks for the great start to the day. :))) I’m sorry you lost all your eggs though. Maybe having help will bring you back to earth. 🙂 I’m surprised with all you have to do that it was just eggs you forgot. Have a wonderfilled eggless day. 🙂
The joys of surprise eggs. Like gifts from heaven… or distracted farmers.
Love it! Tane you piggy pig 😀
Tane: Grunt, grunt…..wipers!!!!
Geraldine the Peacock Princess flies in from farm left: A damp towel for you sir?
Gonna need some good roughage to get all those eggs through, me thinks. haha
Snorts with piggy laughter. I can’t say that I would not have done the same. I know tsk tsk tsk but hey we are cute little piggies right? XOXO – Bacon
Too cute! c
Naughty pig! Loved the conversation.
Oh, thank you for the laughter, Miss C and Tane!
I would feel a bit sick also!
Sigh!
Linda
hilarious
I will be chuckling about this one for quite a while. Life with animals and birds: so much materal. Theater of the absorbed. A pig with his head stuck in a bucket of eggs. And Tah-nay with his eggy beard micro-aggressing about BooBoo’s bum-bum. Really! Everyday a divine comedy!
Um maybe the soufflé omelette for tonights’ supper is now off the menu 🙂 Tane, yellow is definitely your colour and egg yolk is an excellent hair/beard conditioning mask. Still laughing. Laura
hee hee – so no one warned you that, with pigs, eggs come second only to CAKE (yes you must say it loudly – lol)!! Our Sweet Monster was the exact same way – loved her fresh eggs and left-over pastry! hahahaha
ok- this is one of the funniest posts ever ever! and the yo9lk covered pig face? Hilarious- have to share this! bwa hahahah