I got distracted. That’s all I can say in my defense. I came out of the field and put the bucket down, why I do not know. I always take the eggs straight to the kitchen. But yesterday the eggs were left in a bucket at the gate. Fifteen eggs, the afternoons haul. I set them down and was going to pick them back up but there you are. Some people have called me Organic. Some Whimsical. Me: I am moving towards Airhead – though I prefer whimsical.
So I left the eggs in the bucket by the gate and soon after I let Tane out.
Much later I came out of the barn and this is what I saw. For the record Tane is pronounced Tahnay.
Miss C: No Tane. Tane! Get your head out of that bucket. 
Tane: No. (muffled due to head being IN said bucket).
Miss C: Tane, get your head OUT of that bucket.
Tane: NO!
Tane. Get your head out of the bucket right this minute. Or no carrots for supper.
Tane: What are you blabbering on about woman?! I can’t hear a word you are saying. My head was in a bucket!
Miss C: Oh No, Tane. Don’t eat all my eggs.
Tane: Can’t hear you again.
Miss C. No. Tane, get our head out of my bucket. Right this minute.
Tane: What?! Miss C I have tooth ache. My tusks are growing. Leave me alone with my eggs for just a minute. 
Miss C: Don’t make me come over there.
Tane: Still can’t hear you.
Miss C: TANE!
Tane: What? If I take my head out of this bucket some other bastard will put his head in.
Miss c – Language Tane. There are children reading. 
Tane. Oh, I feel a bit sick.
Tane: Hey, BumBum no looking at my eggs. 
Tane: The dog is staring. Miss C tell BooBoo, the dog of undetermined parentage, to stop staring at my bucket!
Tane: Bloody dog.
Tane: See? SEE. I turn my back for a second!!
Tane: What did I tell you. Now BooBoo the BumBum is eating my dinner. That’s what I get! First you hide my woman now you give my dinner to the dogs! What is a boar to do!
Miss C: You call him BooBoo the BumBum? Really?
Tane: Yes. Have you seen the size of his arse? Fine, let him lick the bowl. I only left him a few shells anyway. Ugly, smelly-bottom dog.
Tane: (to screen in a suddenly sweet voice) Good morning Fellows and Fellasses. I hope you all have a lovely day.
Love Tane
PS. This afternoon I am driving up to the airport to collect a young man who is flying all the way from Basque, Spain to work here on the farm for a month. More on that tomorrow. love, love, c
Miss C: Tane, you have egg on your face.
Tane (over his shoulder as he saunters out to the field): Details.
The Kitchen's Garden 
50 responses to “Tane the Terrible”
Ha ha ha. Life! I prefer butterfly brain! That’s me too. ❤
How do I love this post?! Let me count the ways!!
You’re verbal banter is a total riot – and I laughed my ass off when I saw Tane with all that egg on his face!! Too funny!!
I remember once finding one of my goats almost all the way into the chicken coop – her ass sticking out of the tiny chicken coop door. It was just too funny & I have photos to prove it… but this is waaaay more funny by a long shot!! ; o )
Forgot to say – I’m a total flakeball but both you and I … and all other flakeballs… are fabulous!! ; o )
SPECTACULAR!!!
Oh, that was funny – and oh, that yellow snout of Tane and the staring of BooBoo. Thank you for making me laugh!
This reminds me of trying to get a bucket away from calves after they finished their milk. They fought and bucked. You bring back those farm memories today with this post.
One of those neon-yolk beardie pictures must be part of the calendar this year, I think! I like the first one you posted, as it was a shocker!
Good yellow oaks! Eggs and facial fur… not a picturesque combo but often funny. We were just discussing sourcing of supply of homegrown eggs… at least you’ll have more tomorrow.
Well, that puts a new slant on the traditional Easter Egg Hunt! I had a good laugh, just what I needed today. Thank you.
Never a dull moment. I don’t know where this expression came from, but clearly had The Kitchen’s Garden totally in mind.
Don’t show Tane the photos: let’s face it – nought added to his looks 🙂 ! And you DID take ‘his woman’, so he has somewhat of a right to be cranky!! And you did not colour any Easter eggs for him either so he had to get the yellow from somewhere!! [Tane: I tried!!!!]. But Miss C . . . what compensations: first a wwofer from Argentina, then Avignon and now the Basque country . . . .fabulous, and I wish all of you well!!!!
Hey, Tane! Got eggs?
I think you’ve just snapped the Easter photo for next year’s calendar.
LOL. Poor Boar. Fifteen eggs, you say?
Your pigs must be trying to one up each other lately. Can’t even imagine what the next post will include. I literally laughed out loud at this one!
One of your very bestests. Great laughs here. Now for Tima, does she have any special way to say her name? I have a friend named Tima. Much love and a liberal sprinkling of smoochies, Gayle